On one hand there is the whole raising thing and making sure your kids keep in line on the other hand no one can control the actions of their children. What are your thoughts? :starwars:
The example that parents set for their children have influence but they're not entirely responsible. You could be raised perfectly and make friends with the wrong person; who pressures you to steal from a store for them. You strongly desire to fit in and get along with this person, so you decide to steal. You get caught. That's not a parental error. You could also be raised by parents who are criminals and/or parents who you've seen shoplift. So naturally, because mom and dad have done it, the child thinks they can do it as well..... There's not really a right or wrong answer for this, parents are responsible for being good role models and positive upbringing. But the child still has to make the right choice themselves.
I think parents do influence the actions of their kids one way or another, but whether they are responsible for mistakes depends. It's probably an answer that differs with each situation.
Only until the kid is old enough to know better. I'd say 13 is the cut-off and then it's all on them.
This is absolutely true. Parents have tremendous influence but they don't have control (unless it is coercive). In addition, parents can be the most wonderful, caring, thoughtful people you would ever want to meet, the best role models, and still their kids can turn out badly. This is reassuring in a sense, parents need not beat themselves up if a kid makes more than their fair share of mistakes. Good parents also know the difference between what they can teach and what they must let them learn for themselves. Too many parents these days hover over their kids, like the proverbial "helicopter parents", way more than necessary.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink: there's only so much guidance a parent can give their child. A child may have the best upbringing in the world with perfect morals and family values, but it doesn't stop them from becoming a serial killer. My point is, is that everyone has their own mind regardless of their past and everyone makes their own decisions in life.
As a father of 3 children: 21, 18, 11; your a good parent if you try your best for your children, not just materially. My eldest daughter has made huge mistakes in her life. She has parents who attend church regularly and practice their faith (Episcopalians), she was interested in the sciences so she went to a private girls' school in town with a strong science program for 4 years. She had a very privileged life. She wanted for nothing and her passion for horseback riding was indulged. Yet, she dropped out of college after her 1st year, got a boyfriend who was a ghetto rat (race is not an issue, behavior is). He ended up stealing all of my ex's jewelry, many were cherished family pieces from both sides, generational. Both refused a lie detector test. Then in November she gave birth to a beautiful granddaughter. She's living in low income housing and work in the fast food industry, Tim Horton's, as an ass't. manager. No, I don't feel responsible for her mistakes, and nor does my ex. We are willing to help with the baby, but my eldest is no longer on our payroll. Both of the other two so far have had the same upbringing and are doing fine. Go figure.
Yeah, I agree there's no clear answer. On one hand, children pass a point where they became old enough to make their own decisions and take responsibility for those decisions. On the other hand, if parents just sit idly by while their child self-destructs or the parents themselves are behaved badly, then I do think some blame has to go to the parents. It just depends on the situation.
Parents do play a big role on their child choices and values, but after a certain age (I'd say around 15) children have the most responsibility on their actions. I believe this because I know tons of siblings who have had the same education and made completely different life choices (and mistakes).
Yea and no. If you're a terrible parent, and your kid is fucked up, yes it's partly your responsibility. But if you're an average or good parent then it's really your kids fault.
Guidance does play a little part, but ultimately it is the child's decision what they do. Examples are families which the children have been raised awfully yet still turn out amazing. I can think of several cases the other way around too. ---------- Post added 18th Jun 2015 at 08:50 PM ---------- Added: I doubt my mother guided me towards depressive states of mind.
Well, my ex had two children, and he did one important thing that kept them honor students... ...ready for this? ... ... He took an interest in his kids. His boy was reading manga, so my ex started asking him about it. The boy gave him a few books to read, and my partner looked through them and learned enough about the series to comment on them. He didn't get overzealous with the kid, but if the topic came up, my ex could keep up with the conversation. He let the boy lead. His daughter got interested in cooking, so my ex taught her how to cook because he also liked to cook. It was at this stage, I think, that I started hearing about weird things like chocolate-covered bacon. He didn't push her on the issue, but if I understand correctly, her interests just followed a natural migration eventually to other areas of interest, which is what teenagers do. He took an interest in his kids. If you're doing it right, it should feel almost like cheating. You barely need more intelligence in your brain than your pet cat. Your pet cat could figure this out. If you are actually applying intelligence or actual reasoning to the basic concept, then you're doing it wrong. Just watch what they are doing, and care. It's not an intelligence thing, but it's an empathy thing.
