Is it Honestly Bad to Like Attention?

I think people see those who want attention as self-absorbed and self-centered, which many are.

I value humility over attention-seeking.

 

A person who wants attention will find a way of getting it. I figure that, if a person is not prancing around and acting the fool, then that person is cutting himself, crying and threatening to kill himself.

How do I know? I'm like that. I used to be hyper-depressive and anxious, and I turned up to be a pent-up freak and insanely schizotypal personality disordered attention-hound. Note to all you guys with really anxious forms of depression: come out, and get your freak on. It scares off the bad guys, and the rest of us either love it or are too busy with our own shit to give a damn. Join the fight, soldier.

The best thing you can do with an attention-seeker of any kind is to teach him a better way to express his damn neediness. There are ways you can get people to simply love you if you can just learn to stop being shy about who you are, and when you find that group of people that you fit in with and who understand you, that gives you a wonderful sense of warmth and security.

 

Trixie, this certainly reminds me of a conversation we had... :lol:

It's a good topic.

I certainly relate to you. I definitely like it when people interact with things I create. It gives me great joy.




Ok, so in all honesty, I don't believe wanting attention is necessarily a bad thing.

Deep down... we all like attention. Some of us like it in different ways, some of us like it more than others, but pretty much all of us enjoy feeling important every once in a while. It helps us gain confidence.



I very much despise it when I log on to Facebook and see some person write about their personal problems and whatnot. I mean, social websites aren't really the place for you to talk about those things.

I don't call these people attention-whores, though.

There's nothing wrong with not wanting to feel ignored. Sometimes we feel horrible, and we want to feel wanted. We want to feel worth something.

However, there's a line.

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When you cross the line, you will not see me anywhere near you.


Here's what I mean:
My cousin is the type of person that loves, loves, LOVES attention. He has more than 200 EDM tracks on his phone, and he plays them in school every day. Everyone knows him as the school's 'DJ' and he thinks he's so great because of that.

It pushes my buttons when people go: "Omg, he has the best music!"

"Haha, he's so great! I love him."

"He should be a DJ someday!"

And he goes around acting like he's some sort of famous producer. He doesn't even make the music!

...And no, it's not because I'm jealous, it's just that it's pretty clear he's practically showering in all the attention.

One time, I tried playing my own music for the class. He disconnected my iPod when I went to the bathroom and put his own music.

"I'm giving the people what they want," he said.

________________________________________________________________________

LINE CROSSED!





So anyways, wanting attention is ok sometimes, just don't let it get to your head.

 

No, especially if you're someone who receives very little attention it's perfectly natural to want more. It's more about the way you seek it that can be annoying depending on your approach

 

It's not bad or unnatural to want and receive attention. It's just that many want attention for the wrong reasons... My favorite are the Facebook statuses where someone tells everyone how terrible their life is and 49 people comment on it giving them all kinds of love. That kind of attention seeking is sickening.

 

Of course some people have bad lives, but posting it all over Facebook is asking for a pity party. If something in my life is making me upset, receiving pats on the back from my 400 Facebook friends is the last thing I want.

 

I feel like it's not that bad, as long as you don't send me through an emotional rollercoaster.

 

As I kid, I loved it, despite being socially anxious. Later on, most of the attention I got was bad, which just made the anxiety worse.

Now, I usually hate attention. I can't even check notifications here or on Facebook without getting anxious. I have to force myself to check them, which could be a reason why I tend to reply late. I'm not trying to be rude by doing that, I'm just a nervous wreak.

 

Oh, and by the way, let me offer a heads-up. Sometimes, a guy will act like he just doesn't have time for you. In a handful of cases, this might be a guy who genuinely has a busy life, and you can tell these exceptions: they really try to rearrange things to try to make time for you, and they're really genuinely frustrated that life gets in their way. Sometimes, the ones who are trying deserve a chance. Often, though, a guy will just blow you off like he doesn't have time for you, as if you're somehow "not good enough" for him.

I figure that running into this type of person might have been part of why you posted the thread, which is why I bring it up.

Here is the thing to do. In your head, where he can't hear you, say to him, "I'm sorry that I bothered you with my sorry, little pissant needs, oh, wise and noble sir. I will not bother you again," and just nicely let him drift away on his cloud of self-importance. The reason you say it silently is that, when you are dealing with a person who suffers from nacissistic self-importance, there is no possible way to teach that person humility or compassion. No lectures, no harsh words, no pleading or anything will change that person. You cannot fix him. You cannot save him. Let him go. Narcissists always turn into abusers, no exceptions.

 

I don't really get it either. There's a difference between liking attention and being overly needy. I like certain types of attention, but hate other kinds. I can be a bit dramatic about my problems online, but that's because I don't have much people to talk to in real life. The people I do talk to don't seem to care. For some reason I hate when people say my name. Probably because they use an annoying tone of voice.

 

Yeah, that's why I don't use my Facebook.

 

I don't think it is.

 

We need to establish something here.

Enough folks mistake 'being appreciated' for 'paid attention to'. There is a difference, and knowing that difference is absolutely key in determining, are you an attention whore or knowing you have value.

If you are working hard and busting your ass for somebody, it only makes sense to want to be told, hey, you're awesome, thank you for doing this -- love ya. But if you are doing something simply to hold one over on another, that's not appreciated.

Don't act like a fool, just so you can get me away from everybody and have me all to yourself. That ain't cute, that's fucking manipulative. Don't create a lot of drama, just so you can shackle me to it and never know better. That ain't adorable, that's fucking crazy, and I will drop you faster than a Republican's pants in a bathroom stall.

Most folks who like or seek attention, tend to either feel they deserve it, for good or bad, or that they earned it, for good or bad. As Kageshiro mentioned, it really depends on the motives behind why you want it.

Often times, I receive enough attention. It just often times isn't the kind I'd prefer, a.k.a. affectionate affirmation, like cuddling or hair-brushing an--

Aggggh! I'm getting mushy! LOL.

 

Sister, I'm quite sure you can indulge yourself, if only you'll allow yourself. (*hug*)

 

It's not bad. It just makes you look shallow and it's a complete turnoff for me.