I am a gay guy, but I really seem to prefer bisexual men for any relationship. All relationships of any quality that I have ever been in have been with bisexual men. Because these have been people that I have dearly loved, I am going to stand up for bisexual individuals in general by challenging what I think are some harmful myths about bisexuality. I am basing this on first-hand experience. Myth #1: "Bisexuals can't be faithful." Truth: Although this is the most time-honored belief regarding bisexuals, particularly bisexual men, I have been with two bisexual men in long-term relationships. The first was absolutely faithful to his wife until he came out, regardless of what she might believe, even though he never really had strong feelings about monogamy. He was didn't do stuff like that, and it was because it was his nature. It just wasn't him. The second had very VERY strong feelings regarding faithfulness, and he believed that being unfaithful, once committed, was a "deal-breaker," much more passionately than anyone I've ever known. I have no experience with bisexual men being anything other than faithful if they had made a commitment to monogamy. The reason that a person can be both bisexual and monogamous is that, if a partner dies or a relationship fails, that person might form a new relationship with a member of either sex once having gone through the grieving or break-up process. Myth #2: "Bisexuals are just on their way to becoming gay or straight, or they are in denial." Truth: Hell, no. My second partner was, while he was single, an inveterate womanizer, and he only ever had casual sex with women. His relationships with men were all serious relationships that were not intended to end, although they did for various reasons. He was also married happily to a woman for 15 years until her death. His bisexuality was a stable behavior over the course of his lifetime. Myth #3: "Bisexuals are 'greedy'." Truth: This would have been true of my very sexually demanding, although no less dearly loved, second partner, but the first one and I only had sex on a monthly basis. He was only interested in sex that often. Mind you, my ex was very affectionate, but he was not demanding. He was not a "drillmaster." He was a supportive, warm individual. In my experience, bisexual individuals may be either very demanding or not very demanding, and in the end, they are individuals. This is the only proper way that you can understand anybody, including someone who is bisexual: understand that person as an individual. Anything to add?
Hit it on the bullseye my friend, all damn true; these myths about bisexuals are just stupid as fuck.
Another one: Bisexuality is Cissexist/Pro-Binary I hear this one from a lot of people when they try to explain how pansexuality is different from bisexuality. I personally identify as bisexual myself and so does my boyfriend. Honestly, I don't see how bisexuality has to be "pro-binary" or whatever. A lot of bisexuals, and me as well, sort of think of it like this: You like people who are both similar and different to you. Someone who's bisexual can be attracted to trans people (I'd hope so or my boyfriend has some 'spalin' to do) and non-binary people.
Another myth busted, then. A lot of people don't know about the "pansexual" self-designation, and although it is growing in popularity, it still isn't entrenched enough yet, in social discourse, for most people to have a clear idea on what the distinction even means. Most people who identify as bisexual don't even know anything about the intricate politics associated with postmodernist philosophy. I mean, postmodernism has its uses, but you can't expect everyone to be nerdy on the topic. If you want more people to know about it, then give more lectures.
I honestly do like educating people- here's a really good article that helped me out: https://radicalbi.wordpress.com/2011/09/27/why-i-identify-as-bisexual-and-not-pansexual/ And here's another one: https://bifurious.wordpress.com/2009/05/07/the-two-in-bisexual/ I think the thing is, a lot of people really do want to be inclusive. The LGBT community is one that's pretty heavily focused on the intricacies of language and labels- probably moreso than most biologists. So one person adopts a label and it doesn't always mean the same thing to them as it means to someone else. I don't know if there really is an organic distinction between pansexuality and bisexuality, other than maybe pansexuality can kind of be considered a subset of the bisexual umbrella. The biggest distinction I've seen is that pansexuals are "more willing" to date trans or non-binary people but no one's saying that bisexuals never would in the first place. Bisexuality itself has always occupied a very weird place in the LGBT community. We don't often recognize bisexuality as a true orientation both in and outside the LGBT community. A man has sex with a man, he's usually considered gay even if he's truly bisexual. Two women in a relationship are considered to be in a lesbian relationship, even if neither partner calls herself lesbian and they're both bisexual. I'm sure a lot of you other bisexuals have had gay people tell you "oh, I used to call myself bisexual but it was just a phase. You're really gay all along" or "Bisexuals are just gay men/women deluding themselves and playing the straight card". Hell, the whole concept of Pride itself was put forth by a bisexual woman- Brenda Howard- but Pride is sort of thought of by both mainstream media and people in our own community as an event just for gays and lesbians to sort of party (even though a lot of cities and events, to their credit, are doing their damnedest to be a little more inclusive and accepting of the community). I may sound a little bitter but sometimes, I do feel that the LGBT community in general has embraced pansexuality more than bisexuality ever was. Part of that is because a lot of people in the LGBT community are becoming a little more inclusive overall but I feel like we shouldn't step over bisexuals to embrace pansexuals- why not embrace and respect both?
