any embarrassing stories to help me feel better? lol

That sucks

I could share but mine are so grim they're a bit too much, lol.

Oh wait, I've got one. Major social anxiety so it'll cost me an arm and a leg, so I hope it cheers you up at least a little bit!

I once farted when we were sitting in a ring, first soccer practice. Yeah. Nowhere to go, everyone laughing at me and letting me know how disgusting the chemistry of my intestines were.

*sigh*

Don't let it get you down, honey! You can always get the ingredients and what you might need later, can't you?

hugs (*hug*)

 

Oh my God in New Zealand on holiday I was going to pour out a waterbottle on some nearby grass I slipped on some mud and my white pants were coloured brown. It was so embarrassing luckily not many people saw me slip which was good.

 

My friend and I were racing to our classroom after a fire drill and I won. However since it was dark I tripped over someone's backpack and went flying through the room only to land on top of some poor girl. When the lights were turned on everyone could see me laying on this girl in an awkward position and some of the boys started making sexual jokes. I quickly got up and tried to play it cool, but then ran right into the corner of a table and fell to the floor clutching my privates, that were on fire.

This is one of my least embarrassing moments.

 

Once I asked my friend how to spell W....

 

Well I have a bit of a tale for you.

One day my parents decided to let me house sit for them while they were away on vacation. Just to preface this story my parents are not ok with me being gay whatsoever, and against my better judgement I decided to invite my boyfriend over to hang out a bit since it was just me, and my dogs there for like a week.

Then my boyfriend and I decided to have sex on my old bed, and he played it safe and wore a condom. He decided to throw away the condom wrapper along with the condom itself in the bathroom garbage. It was fun, and after that it was smooth sailing for the rest of the week. I threw away the bathroom trash and thought nothing of it.

However afterwards when my parents and brother came back from their vacation it turns out my brother found the condom wrapper in the dog's kennel. He then decided to give it to my older sister who showed it to my older brother who then decided to show it to me. So now all my siblings know about it, and I am embarrassed as fuck.

Now for the interesting part. I didn't know where the used condom was. I thought it was in the bathroom garbage as well, but heaven knows I didn't check, and I thought the condom wrapper was safely tucked away as well. So I began to have a mental breakdown, and drove back to my parents house as soon as possible to track down the possibly missing condom.

I scavenged my parents garbage trying to find the used condom, and it was nowhere to be seen. I looked high and low everywhere in case my dog decided to chew it up and leave it hidden. Now I am beyond freaked out. There is an AWOL used condom in my parents house somewhere.

I never found it, and for all I know to this day it could be in my house somewhere... or my dog ate it and pooped it out in the yard somewhere.

 

I've gotten super fucked up before in a bar and stole the trashcan kid from the bathroom and walked around with it around my neck the whole night.

I was drunk one day canoeing with friends and I saw a package of chips ahoy floating down the river. I swam after them and ate them. Threw up soggy cookies and fireball for a solid hour while cat-calling passing females down the river.

I once got my swim trunks caught on the drain at a pool party. So I took them off underwater and swam back up like nothing happened.

I've violently puked all over my friend's wall next to her toilet and was terribly embarrassed when her mom was cleaning it up the next morning.

One time I had a couple hits of acid and the kitchen floor disappeared. So I ran outside and told the neighbors... They thought I was fucking insane.

I can go on... And on....

 

In 6th grade we had a lockdown drill because the school was getting drug dogs to search everyone's lockers. The drill was really long: it was going on two hours. Everyone was just crammed into the corner in complete silence, and I couldn't hold my fart anymore... Luckily no one could tell where it came from, and my uptight language arts class teacher said in her most proper, disgusted voice said, "if I ever catch who made that dispicible noise in the middle of this important event, they will be sorry!" And everyone just laughed XD

 

My entire life is an embarrassing story

 

I ran full speed into a glass door twice in one day

 

Saying "How are you?" to the cashier before saying "good" when she asked "How are you?" first. Also, going in for a handshake and the guy was gonna go in for the bro-hug= awkward body touching resembling a hug.

 

Well, this one time, my manager called me to tell me I didn't need to come in that day and he said "enjoy your day off" and I said "thanks, you too"

I have stories about other people too tho haha
Once, this guy was checking out next to me at Giant, and he dropped a jar off pickles. Then, he just stood there angrily staring at the mess on the floor for like 3 minutes straight and stomped his foot a few times.

My friend walked right into a flight of stairs and got a concussion, a few months later, she ran straight into a dumpster.

That's all I can think of right now..

 

A month ago, I was staying in a homeless shelter, and I showed up to a job interview wearing a nice dress and the most uncomfortable dress shoes in the world. I had to take MARTA (Atlanta's public transportation system). The shoes gave me multiple blisters on both of my feet, and it took me over an hour to get there.

On the way there, I accidentally hit my left big toe on the side of the road, which broke my toe nail and made it bleed everywhere. I was alone, and I had no bandaids or any way to get them. If that wasn't bad enough, the job was at a mall food court, and on my way there I was harrassed by high-pressure salesmen trying to get me to buy lotion. They didn't leave me alone until after I explained my situation and showed them my bloody toe...

But wait, it gets WORSE! When I got to the place, they told me that they had contacted me ten days ago about the job and were willing to hire me on the spot, but they GAVE IT TO SOMEONE ELSE. The shelter I was staying at said I could use their number as I contact, and that they'd tell me if someone called. THEY NEVER TOLD ME. I swear to God I wanted to BEAT THE SHIT out of everyone.

On the plus side, the chef who worked at the shelter gave me hamburgers left over from Memorial Day to make me feel better. It really helped.

 

I went on a school trip to Costa Rica and did a homestay with my friend in this family's home in this little village. On like the second day with the family I fucking clogged the toilet. I didn't know what to do. I stood in the bathroom having a mini panic attack for a bit, then went and told my friend which was super embarrassing. Then I had to tell the mother in the house I was staying in. My spanish wasn't super great either, so I had to keep repeating "the toilet is clogged" because I didn't think I was even saying it right. And she and her daughter went and had to fricking look in the toilet and everything before they told me it wasn't a problem and sometimes the toilet just gets stuck

 

I rolled down the stares while I was in the city mall in front of a million people:dry: I hope I helped

 

I had a city rec. job maintaining baseball and softball fields in addition to cleaning trash and other odds and ends stuff. I was painting the lines for the softball field. If you have ever done this, you basically walk like a penguin. But you can't walk too fast or slow. I had an old school style chalker(it was 2001) that was metal and also had a pointy metal attachment to control the amount of chalk that would come out. I lost my balance and my shin hit the pointy part of the chalker, and I fell to the ground. The chalk went everywhere on the diamond and I had a decent almost one inch gash on my shin. Our inside boss had to leave his desk(we had a field boss and one that worked in a/c in the rec. building) and take me to the walk in clinic. It happened right after my lunch but before his. He wasn't too pleased by the look on his face, but he didn't say anything the whole time. So, they cleaned out the wound at the clinic and taped me up. Thankfully, I needed no stitches, and I worked later in the day. My working buddy(a year younger than me) thankfully didn't give me hell about it.

 

I was dancing with the rhythm to 7/11- Beyonce and my classmates caught me. Oops