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Was there a breaking point in your becoming sexually active?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Tightrope, Jun 21, 2015.

  1. Tightrope

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    For those who became and are or were sexually active, and saw a fair bit of action, was there an event or a realization that brought this on?

    I might have told this story before. I had finished grad school and was driving myself back to my home state. I was on the road and stayed in a medium sized town. I got some dinner, went out for a drive, and found myself in a sexual liaison. It was not planned. I did not know anything about this town and I was so far from home.

    What was going through my mind was "what's the big deal?" "damn, that felt good" "abstinence was making me really edgy and this is like a dam breaking" and "screw other people's opinions of going about it this way." Do I talk about this to other people? To very few. The topic of shame is more prevalent today. Did I feel shame? No, or I wouldn't have done it. Would I be ashamed to tell everybody and anybody about it? Yes, because the way of going about getting the sex was not standard and it happened in the great outdoors. I am not disturbed by this event. I thought that, as a consenting adult, I could just go ahead and do it. The experience was so out there that I even look back at it and laugh.

    Has anyone, male or female, come to a similar fork in the road? Did you go for it? Did you walk away and have it happen later? Did you just walk away or are you waiting for a situation that works better for you? You're not being evaluated. Also, don't evaluate me for having done this.

    Here's another part of this. Since I went through this process and I go about my daily routines, I sometimes run into guys who are married, divorced, or single, and they are so edgy and seem like they want to go for it, but they seem to be holding back. I'm thinking some of these guys are the Kinsey .5 to 1.5 crowd and I'm thinking "Shit or get off the pot." That's probably selfish on my part and I'm not the type to push, because I don't want to push and I also don't want to get punched in the mouth. Am I off base for having this "shit or get off the pot" point of view toward people who don't approach this as casually as I have?
     
  2. starlights

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    I think I understand what you're saying. And yes, I've had my own breaking point, but it seemed like more of an epiphany.

    I had (straight) sex in relationships when I was in college, then from about 22 on I was not sexually active at all. No real relationships either. It was like I'd already admitted I was not straight, but it took me time to admit I'm gay. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else...what I mean is that it's two different things to realize what you don't like, and to be comfortable and confident enough to go after what you like.

    For me, it wasn't just admitting to myself that I like girls, but also realizing I have a right to be happy and and to have a healthy sex life. And if I'm not going to have a healthy sex life now, then when?