Are you into feminine guys?

Look, I know we're all gay here but why should we switch our genders? I mean, most of the gay men act like girls and most of the lesbians like men... Is that supposed to be happening or is it because we're actually the opposite gender in our hearts, trapped inside the other sex's body? And do you think that guys should be feminine... I am gay and I'm not, I don't like make-up nor any of those sissy girlish things some guys like. I mean, I'm certainly not as tough as most of the hetero guys and I find it hard to bear some of my responsibilities, I'm not into cars and football as well but I don't act like a female. Is it because of the interests we have or it's just messed up? Also, do you find them attractive, are you fine with that girly behavior and would you be friends with such gays? I'd like to know what you think.

P.S: I'm not judging anybody, I'm totally fine with everyone who's part of the LGBT, I just lack the answers of these questions...

 

Wait what

Ignoring the title for a minute (since I'm not attracted to men, although I am attracted to "manly" women), I don't see how acting "girly" switches your gender. It's also kind of sexist to say. Women are not fragile dolls in dresses and men are not tough gross macho people as a whole. Our interests do not decide our gender. Even trans men- people born in female bodies but identify as male- also wear dresses and makeup. This does not invalidate their manhood.

And straight men can be feminine too. Crossdressing and makeup is mostly found in heterosexual males, not gay ones. As well as the fact that straight women can be "manly".

Don't really see the need to have my gender erased just because I don't like "girly" things. It doesn't make me a dude.

 

Not everyone is the same. As you grow up and get out, you're going to meet gay men of stripes, from ultra-feminine to uber-masculine and all points in between. Many gay men reject the feminine stereotype just out of preference. I hate to use the term "straight acting," because it implies a deception, but in a line up you'd be hard put to pick the gay person. I do not reject men that are feminine as friends, but they're not to whom I am attracted. I know guys that play rugby and restore cars. I have a friend who is a decorator who hunts and fishes. I also know guys that watch football and knit at the same time. We are not our stereotypes, and there is more to us than our sexuality. Hope this helps.

 

I happen to be a lesbian whose pretty much like a dude... With a vagina. Honestly, it's who I am. I love sports, I watch football, basketball, baseball, golf, hockey constantly because I like it - Not because I'm trying to assert myself as more masculine. I grew up with 2 older brothers, it's all that was ever on the TV growing up and I grew to love sports. I wear boys clothing because I like it... Even before I 'came out' you couldn't get me in a dress. I always had on basketball shorts and a t-shirt, with a ball cap on. When I got older that evolved into boys jeans, cargo shorts, etc. I like the look of it more and I'm way more comfortable in it. Cutting my hair short was something I never planned on doing, honestly. Until one day I kind of asked myself what the point of having long hair and dealing with with it when it's always in a ponytail with a hat on. So, I cut it off.

I assume other masculine lesbians can associate along the same lines, there's nothing wrong with it. Same with feminine men, just completely reverse everything I said. When it comes to the gay community we're all different. There's masculine and feminine gays and all kinds in between for both males and females.

Although it's less common for straight males to wear girls clothes, some do it. I'm not just referring to skinny jeans either. I've seen plenty of straight males rocking a pair of womens jeans, hoodies, etc. My best friend (female) walks around in mens basketball shorts and t-shirts all the time, she's straight as an arrow.

 

You say you're not judging, but that's exactly what you did. Look, I know what it's like to be a minority, look at those who fit stereotypes and think, "If they'd just get their act together, things would be so much better for all of us..." Except it doesn't matter what they do, because majority groups are always going to find some reason or another for treating us like second class citizens.

No, expression, sexuality, and gender are different things. It's crazy how even within the LGBT community, people seem to get these things mixed up. People *did* think gay men and women were "opposite sex members" trapped in the wrong body, at one time, and considered trans men and women "extreme homosexuals". Both wrong, of course.

I like feminine traits in men: whether it be their personality, interests, or expression. I don't like obnoxious and rude people, but that isn't limited to stereotypical gay men at all. It just takes a different form, and is unfortunately more common in insecure people. Then again, there are many ways to be feminine, and most people embrace both feminine and masculine traits to some degree.

 

I'm not into feminine guys, but being feminine is NOT switching genders.

That's probably the most ignorant thing I've read on this site.:icon_sad:

 

Whoa, there, little pony! I'm a sort of a hipster fem guy, but I LOVE grizzly bears. I love those gigantic guys who just love you the minute they see you, like great, big puppy-dogs. That, to me, is attractive. It is freakin' adorable.

Really, what I like being and what I am into, for my partners, are two different things.

But there is such a thing as "genderqueer." Not all gay men are going to be entirely cis-gender. Not even all straight guys are entirely cis-gender.

 

I've been attracted to both 'feminine' and 'masculine' guys.
Not because of their masculinity or femininity, but because of their overall personality.

 

I guess that's because I've grown up with those stereotypes and they've influenced me. I'm feminine, in a way... perhaps because I'm more sensible... I guess I'm in denial. I should probably start accepting myself before I start talking about the others.

I'm really not judging anybody. At least, I didn't want it to sound like that, I just couldn't explain why do we actually "swap souls and interests" if that's the right thing to say, since we're not literally changing our gender. Or it's a just a matter of taste different people have. Of course there are straight people whose interests vary and may be drastically different from one common guy's. No person is the same. And even though we might not like some specific things other people do, we should certainly start respecting them since we want to be accepted among the others.

 

I'm going to ignore the post except to say I essentially agree with Falling down.

As for the topic thread, yes I am. Much moreso than masculine men.

 

You're young, anthonybg, so you have that excuse and 'll just say this: writing "I'm not judging anybody" does not give you a free pass to say offensive things. But asking questions is good, so here are the best answers I can give you...

Well, that's a sweeping generalization. Actually, none of the lesbians I've met act like guys. Sure, some of them are more comfortable expressing conventionally "masculine" traits, but mostly because defying gender norms is what we do. Even just by dating another girl, we're transgressing. So it's easier for us to feel free to express ourselves differently, too.
And no, gay people are not "the opposite gender" in their hearts. Gay is not the same tihng as trans. Gender expression is not gender identity. Most gay men and women are perfectly happy with their gender.

Now this is where you start to be a little offensive (just so you know for future reference). "Sissy" sounds quite condescending here.
There's nothing wrong with a guy liking makeup. I don't think guys should be feminine; I think guys should be themselves. If who they are includes some traditionally feminine traits, then yeah, they should rock it. Who am I to police others' personality and clothing?

Of course I'd be friends with a "feminine" guy or a "masculine" girl. I'd be friends with anyone I got along with. Why wouldn't I?
And I've found "masculine" girls and "feminine" guys attractive, yes.
And yes, I'm fine with a guy's "girly" behavior. There's nothing wrong with being "girly," in the sense "like a girl," since there's nothing wrong with being a girl.

I have a question for you, too, anthonybg. Are you uncomfortable around women who express in a typically "masculine" way, or men who express in a typically "feminine" way? If so, why do you think that is?

 

Rolls eyes. Not all of us are gay either some of us are bi. Gender identity and Gender Rolls are two different animals. The biggest example is the existence of FTM femboys and MTF butches.

 

Sexually appealing: no

As friends: possibly

 

Many feminine gay men did not just one day decide to act like that; they were always feminine.. even as children. They were most probably outcasted and looked down upon for their femininity. Why would they emulate something which is looked very down upon by society and even in the gay community for e.g. many feminine gay men are rejected. Feminine gay men are not only present in western society for e.g. two spirit indian natives (completely unaware of western stereotypical presentations on gay men for obvious reasons).Femininity in men in society is still seen as something to be ashamed of. I think the stereotypes may be exaggerated by some gay men as a way to rebel against femininity being seen as weak or femininity in men being seen as negative; hence the need to be "fierce" and "fabulous". I feel like if femininity in men was more accepted in society, the stereotype would actually decrease because there would be less for feminine gay men to rebel against. Think of the reactions a man would get for wearing a dress or 'walking/talking like a girl' in comparison to a girl wearing men's trousers or 'walking/talking like a guy'.

 

Ignoring all the questionable language as that has already been answered in previous posts - people must consider that you're not a native English speaker, therefore people need to give you some leeway when it comes to your ability to get a certain perspective across - I would answer no, I do not find feminine men to be sexually attractive. I agree with scxred in that I feel because of the stigma in which feminine men face, it sort of forces them into a whole new degree of femininity, and in all honesty I find it annoying. But all things considered I'm more than happy to become friends with said individuals, if they turn the 'volume' down a little bit. In the end, no I do not think it's because we are simply messed up. Everyone is born the way they are and that's just how the world is. You will always get feminine men and masculine woman. It's just the way of things.

 

Saying that most gay men act effeminate and most lesbians are masculine is kind of making generalizations and stereotyping. On EC here, there are many lesbians who are feminine and gay guys who are masculine. Just as there are masculine lesbians and feminine gay guys. In real life, most of my friends are LGBT, and have a varied way of expression. Expression and personality do not necessarily correlate with sexuality and gender identity. I'm not trans myself, so I can't tell you how it feels to be a different gender trapped in the opposite sexes body, but I can tell you that personality and physical expression don't always have to fit gender roles, even for cisgender people.

I don't think guys "should be" any specific thing. I think guys should feel free to dress like, and act like however they feel most comfortable with.
That "sissy and girlish" comment sounded rather offensive by the way. Why people act the way they are is because of who they are. You're not very feminine, and lean towards more masculine. That's fine, and so is being a totally feminine guy. There is nothing messed up about this

I personally find feminine guys attractive, and masculine women, not really. But that's my preference. I'd be friends with people like this, sure. I already have friends who are butch lesbians. I like them because they're awesome and nice, and how they look does not affect my friendship with them. One of them's really pretty~

I did find this post rather offensive, because in some parts you did imply that people should stick to gender roles in society. I understand you have questions, just, next time please be a bit more careful about how things are worded.

 

That sounded so wrong on so many levels. I know you didn't mean it to sound as harsh as it might have come out. My answer to your questions is - those are just stereotypes.

 

You're not judging anyone, yet you drop to using words like the bolded...something ain't adding up here. But seriously, I get what you're asking, however there are better ways to word it if you truly aren't being judgmental. :l

To answer the question though, it's a split. I'm not really one for feminine appearances(ex: make up) but, on the other hand, I do tend to find more stereotypically feminine mannerisms/traits to be really cute(ex: 'gay voice' can be really adorable, imo). A combo of a more stereotypically masculine look with a feminine way of acting can be very attractive.

Tl;Dr Looks? Not as much. How he acts? Definitely.

 

Never stereotype people. Thats all i have to contribute to this thread.

 

Wow... I wear shirts and jeans and you'd never see me in a dress. I also love sports, especially violent-ish stuff (ex-boxer, now playing rugby), I shout louder than most of the guys when we watch football or go to rugby matches, I drink more beer and burp louder than I should. And you know what? That doesn't make me less of a woman. In fact, I'm confident in my gender, and just because I don't respect certain "rules" doesn't make me a guy in the wrong body. I'm not a lesbian because of the way I act, and I don't act the way I do because I'm a lesbian. I'm just me, and I'm happy that way.

Now, I get that you weren't trying to offend anyone, but what you wrote was pretty stupid. The best you could do right now is to apologise to all. Maybe try to reformualte your questions?

To answer the actual question, no, I do not like feminine guys.