I was outside in the parking lot after work with talking with the new girl and my only friend who knows I like men. Our conversation covered multiple topics, one in particular. Somehow, we got to talking about sexuality and my friend brings up the fact that he's straight but would fuck one guy. His man crush. He brought up the point that he's not bisexual or gay but enjoyed looking at other guys but has no interest in being with them romantically (other than his crush if he got the chance, although I'm not sure he would go further than kissing and cuddling, etc.) The new girl then asked me if there was any men I would have sex with and I simply answered yes, after an awkward pause. I could think of a few but I didn't say anything further. We continued to talk about people being uncomfortable with being open about their sexuality, to which I replied, "It's difficult accepting yourself. It's like a journey for a lot of people. A lot of people don't know right away." Another coworker/friend put his head on my shoulder and acted like he was going to bite me (or something) and I caressed his head and told him I thought he was going to kiss my shoulder. He jokingly told me yes and then followed up by asking if it would freak me out if he just full on kissed me. I told him no. There's nothing too significant about this story, but I seem to be putting myself out there a little more over time. I make (sometimes, not so subtle) jokes at work about being gay. Even my stereotypical girly/gay (whatever you wanna call it) side that I've always hidden is coming out sometimes and I notice it. I REALLY NOTICE IT. I'm not ashamed of who I am. I'm just still freaked out that people will see me differently and not like me. Did/does anyone else do things like this? Does it make things easier? I'm sick of hiding everything. I just want to feel comfy enough to not care. Thanks for listening (*hug*)
There's nothing too significant about this story? If this is the first time something like this happened, then I'd call it significant. :icon_bigg It's something to be proud of! =D Be happy that you've been more open with yourself, and the moment you realise completely that hiding won't make it easier, the happier you'll be. :icon_bigg What I had, was that I pictured myself screaming "I'm not straight" something. And for me, when I came out, things did become easier. Even though not much changed, pressure fell off.. I could be myself, without hiding. =)
