I don't know if this is the right place to put this, but there's a tag here concerning religion and atheism so I'll put here. This is more of a rant than me actually asking for help, I need to get this out somehow. So I was a Christian up until December 2014. I was on a forum for LGBTQ+ Christians (I won't say the name of the forum because I'm not going to say the best things about it and I don't if anyone here uses it). I was only there from October to December (I actually remember signing up here first then deciding to use the Christian one...glad I came back ) To be honest, I was one of the few users who wasn't an adult and everyone was really condescending about it. I would ask an important question about God or being gay, and then get a response along the lines of "you're too young to worry about this". It was annoying. Some of the people were just unpleasant and self-righteous. In December, I told them I was agnostic and I was basically no longer welcome there. Which makes sense now looking back, I mean it's a Christian forum. But I felt pressured to leave and some of the users were very rude and aggressive towards me, it was just the way I was "unwelcomed". Then comes January of this year. I give my beliefs more thought and realize that I'm an agnostic atheist. I join a forum for ex-Christians (again, not saying its name). Everyone there is an atheist really, so I always saw it as more of atheist forum. I kind of went through a phase where I was a huge asshole about my beliefs and I guess one could say I was the stereotypical angry atheist. I used the forum a lot during that time. There's a sub forum where you can debate with Christians and the Christians would always piss me off. I realized I had a lot of baggage. I realized that I needed to come to the terms with the fact that I was an atheist and that it's perfectly fine, but I also needed to let go of the grudges I had against Christians and Christianity and let any pain I had out in a healthier, calmer way. So while I was (and still am) struggling with that, I realized a lot of issues I had with the site. For starters, a lot of the male users are kind of aggressive and intimidating. I remember asking about feminism and a lot of the guys were ganging up on and attacking any of the female users who identified as a feminist. I also don't like how they incessantly bash ALL Christians, like they all act like morons or intolerant bigots. There are a lot of good Christians I know, I live with good Christians. So, after my super atheist phase, I started to see their generalizations and I really didn't like it. Another thing, they attack people who don't have similar views. For example, there are a lot of pro-choicers there, so if you're pro-life and open about it, you will always be in some debate. But I guess a HUGE thing was a lack of support. I have talked on this site about wanting to cut. I have only gotten support and a lot of empathy. On the atheist site however, I have been told to "get help" in a very harsh way that made me feel like I was just bothering people when I told them that stuff. I'm also very insecure about the way I look, like my race and my weight, and I've also gotten really harsh answers on there basically implying that they think that I'm mentally ill or something along those lines. They also played the "you're too young for this" card against me, in a less blatant way though. So I decided to erase everything I wrote in my profile and take off my profile picture. I'm not completely sure how to deactivate the whole profile but I don't think I'll post there again. It's frustrating because I really am a mess when it comes to my personal faith and beliefs, and I just wanted somewhere to talk about it so I could figure myself out. Yeah I can do it here, but I mean, this is a forum for LGBTQ+ people, not for atheists. Not everyone here is an atheist. So that would get old and annoying pretty fast. I'm upset that it didn't work out twice, and with the atheist forum, I had so much hope in it and I felt so liked there. It just sucks Anyway, don't feel compelled to respond, it's just a rant. I hope didn't attack anyone on here, I didn't mean to. Have a good day.
I have absolutely no experience on forums, other than this one...but yeah. I hate when people play the "you're too young to..." thing. I don't think age really matters, it's more of your maturity level and wisdom, which I think comes through experience rather than years. It really, really gets on my nerves. On most other online things, I make myself sixteen years old because nobody seems to take thirteen-year-old me seriously, except for on EC. And my family likes to tell me stuff about religion. They say I'm very mature, but when it comes to religious beliefs, they like to force me that god is real, I'm being a rebellious teenager, ugh, and it just bothers me. I'm not forcing anything on anybody, and it should work both ways. I think I mini-ranted there a bit too hehe sorry. I know how you feel about personal beliefs and stuff, I'm a mess on them too... You could message me if you wanna talk
We shouldn't care too much about the bad things people write to us online. People can be very mean on the internet and you can't always really expect random people online to understand how and what you feel. Because they don't really know who you are and what you've been through. Also there's a lack of emotional connection online because you can't really talk like irl with facial expression and that whole reality deal. So generally people will be a lot "meaner" online because blatantly put, it's much easier. Just please, don't take what people write personally. They don't know all of you, always remember that!
I'm a Christian, and I don't even bother looking in the comments in YouTube videos that have to do with science, religion, or LGBT people because I know it'll just be filled in atheists hating Christians and calling them horrible things. For a while I actually started feeling like I was a terrible person for believing in God and that everything that they were saying like "Christians are closeminded" and stuff like that applied to me, even though it obviously didn't because I'm bisexual. My parents are also Christians and they're the most accepting people in the world. So, that's why it kind of annoys me when I hear people saying that all Christians are right wing white xenophobic close minded people that are delusional and don't accept change because I'm obviously none of those. So, I guess with this rant I just wrote I want people to know that Christians can be open minded too, and automatically assuming that anyone that is religious hates gays makes you no better than people that automatically assume that black people steal, etc.
I hear you dude, I was on an ex-Christian site mostly as a lurker but decided not to really get into it much. At first I got alot out of it, but their attitudes ended up ruining it for me. It actually really does suck because I needed, and still do, a site like that for support and understanding. They didn't understand or support people who were agnostic for some rude reason (I know the reason, I just do not want to argue about it) even though it wasn't an atheist specific forum. It was probably the same site, but I too won't name it here of course... The anti-feminism from all the atheist sources I find is enough to drive one literally insane. And it astonishes me because these are otherwise extremely intelligent people, which is why I got so depressed myself. They were great at making you feel less alone in the world in other ways. But the bad parts drove me away. It's rather sad, I wish I did have a non-religious support forum now, I really do, but I haven't found one that is kind enough yet. Not much to ask... but you know how people are. As for the LGBT+ Christian forum you were on? Geez man! That one should have not been so unkind to you, but I am not surprised. I've seen some pretty horrible forums out there.
The problem with the internet is that you can stay anonymous and be very crass without consequence. I'd look for support in person rather than online honestly. Its really hard to find open minded and empathetic forums... Like EC
I would never want to be on a forum for people with the same beliefs. Because no matter what, you're not going to have all the same beliefs and when you don't line up with what the majority of the forum believes, you're going to be ostracized and hated. I used to post on a political forum that had a Christian group. I joined the Christian group because I am a Christian and there were friends of mine there as well. But every other post was "please pray that the Supreme Court will rule against gay marriage", and posts talking about the "perversion and insanity of homosexuality", and bullshit "studies" that linked homosexuality to pedophilia, and a ton of anti-Islam posts, even ones calling for a "second Crusades". There were also people telling me I was a hypocrite and "confused" for not being a conservative, as if you must be a conservative if you're a Christian. They were also the type to say there's "no such thing" as a gay Christian. It was nothing but hostility, aggression, division, and hate. And I couldn't take it--I left the group and I've never posted there since.
Actually, this does not necessarily make sense. In fact, I'd argue that there are plenty of Christians who would help you with this. I know religious people who would definitely not shun people from their 'community' when they become (more) agnostic. People, whether they are religious or not, should be able to help each other or should at least try to help each other. =) If one of my friends tells me he or she is becoming religious, I would not hold them back. If they want help, I'll be there for them. The person does not have to be my friend, I'd gladly help strangers too. So the fact that you were no longer welcome does not automatically make sense to me. Remember, judgemental people can be found anywhere. Some people are aggressive, some are intimidating. Their religion does not matter. About feminism, they might have thought about "militant feminism". Nowadays, feminism is associated with the extreme version by some. I'm not saying that this is the case for those people too, but it might be. Interesting. You tell us: " I kind of went through a phase where I was a huge asshole about my beliefs and I guess one could say I was the stereotypical angry atheist." And yet you don't like how others bash Christians. Could it be that those people might be going through a phase, too? Or perhaps it's their personality. Note that I'm not endorsing their actions, but I do find it remarkable that this is one of your points of criticism. You are not the "angry atheist" you were before, I understand. But you've been there and they are there now. They might end up like you, not being angry. Just give them some time. How come you are a mess when it comes to your personal faith? That's actually not clear to me by reading your post.. Why would that get old and annoying very fast? If you go to a baseball forum to talk about baseball, and everyone happens to be atheist, would it become boring? You post a rant here, and ask for help indirectly. I don't see why it would get boring if everyone was an atheist here.. =\
Welcome to the club I did the same shizzle at first, and sometimes I can still slip into that phase. My best experience though when it came to discussin atheism and religion was when I made a what I just refer to as an "honest" post. I just laid out everything, what I felt why I was an atheist, what I believing, and what it all meant to me. I didn't attack anyone or make it about anything other than the subject matter. I wound up in a big group discussion with atheists and Christians alike and we all just talked about it all. It was really pleasant. I think that was the moment where I really came to find a sense of calm about my beliefs and just realized that it was better to let it go and not worry about what other people thought/did but rather to just say what you felt and not make it about attacking other people. There was an incident in the atheist community known as "Elevator Gate" and after that atheists and Social Justice Warriors ( who boldly take up the mantle of feminism ) have been at each others throats. I mean to the point where Richard Dawkins has made comments about the whole mess. I imagine the hostility was a result of that more than anything else. I could be wrong, some people are just mean spirited. You actually explained this one pretty well yourself at the top. It's about baggage and all the emotional damage Christianity has done to them personally. Plus the fact that a lot of people are still in these horrible situations and are forced to remain silent about their beliefs because of the extremists of Christianity. It sometimes makes it hard not to see them all that way. I mean think about republicans. We jump to the same generalizations about republicans all the time, but I bet they all aren't like that. The moderate ones exist, they've just been drowned out by all the noise the crazies make. That's really just human nature. Group think. I have mixed feelings in this area. I say let a woman do whatever the heck she wants, but I do see the fetus as a baby in progress, and that makes it a really touchy subject for me on a personal level. I'd be emotionally wrecked if I got with a woman and she had an abortion. Like, I wouldn't tell her she couldn't ( because she can it's her body ) but for me that'd be a tough one to deal with. I'd be unable to not see it as anything more than a baby dying. It'd probably even wreck that relationship for me. Luckily though my interest is far more on the gay side of things so I doubt I'll be dealing with this anytime soon X3 This part mixed with the part at the beginning just goes to really show you Christian or Atheist anyone can be a douchebag. Good for you, best to get rid of negative influences in your life. Sucks that the forum didn't work out, but you'll find a good forum for you ^-^ I felt compelled X3 ---------- Post added 27th Jun 2015 at 10:07 PM ---------- The "You're too young" argument comes from their experience over time. They've lived through more than you and they see you as one of those young people who think they know everything. ---------- Post added 27th Jun 2015 at 10:12 PM ---------- I am going on a limb here and saying you're probably a very open minded individual, but GAH! I hate statements like this one sooooo much. Being bi, being black, being asian, being white, being gay, being straight...none of these things affect whether or not you are open minded. All of these people can be jerks just as much as anyone else. I know you aren't, but these kinds of statements are just a thing that frustrates me. To me if saying "being bi means you're gonna cheat" is a bad and wrong statement than saying "Being bi means I'm open minded" is also a bad and wrong statement. It's applying something addition to the Bi label that isn't always true... anyways, sorry for the mini rant there. Carry on.
