Let's Talk Labels

I agree with the two points you made, but I believe we need labels, for now at least.
For one thing, a label clearly makes you a part of the community. You don't join the community by saying, "Oh, I hate labels. Whom I like is my business." (I mean, you could...)
There's also something of pride in labelling: for example, the reclaiming of the word queer.
And they help with visibility. We need those words to define the community, so that people know about us and know who we are. Because "Those guys with no labels are having their Pride today" just isn't going to work. And going "no labels" because you like everyone isn't going to help bi erasure.
They're also just freaking useful. "I'm gay" is just faster than, "I only fall in love with the same gender" or "Oh, I don't like labels."
And there's a bit of bravery in proudly selecting your label and wearing it...

I think a lot of people who dislike labels are just uncomfortable with the label that best fits them. And that's fine; I wouldn't force anyone to identify as a specific label. But going around saying labels are stupid and should be banned is a bit much. Sure, a part of me wishes we lived in world where we didn't need labels anymore, and no one cared, but we don't. Not yet, anyway. So, until then, I'm keeping my labels.

However, I do believe some people worry way too much about them. It's cool to know who you are. But you don't need a label for that.

 

I believe labels are important. It allows us to make a (quick) note, about anything, yourself, something else. it's meant to simplify things if you allow it to, IMO.

 

I think with that one statement you made the OP's point.


Why do you need to label yourself to fit into a group?


I think if you want a label that's fine, if not good for you. It's not my business how someone else defines themselves or if they define themselves at all.

I don't like labels for two reasons.

1.) You invite assumptions to be made about you. If you pick up the label "Feminist" ( since that's the one I'm guilty of doing this on ) you've made your identity tied to the collective actions of anyone who holds the label. As such if a feminist on the other side of the country does something terrible, you're held accountable by many people despite it having nothing to do with you.

2.) Group think, us vs. them. Labels invite us to dumb ourselves down to Us vs. Them. The absolute worst case for this is Republicans and Democrats. When you take up one of those two labels you're automatically at war with the other side. It's not longer people, but rather two sides on a battlefront.


Labels are, however, necessary.

We need them.

My job title is a label, my sexual orientation is a label, my hobbies are a label. We all have labels attatched to us, and without them it'd be really hard to explain to people who we are.

 

Like I said... You could. But it may be more difficult. I'm not saying it's right, just that it's the way things are. Sure, someone can belong to the community without a label. But it's hard to actually get out there and be in the community if you don't, I suppose, explicitly say why you belong to the community. That's all I meant.

To be honest, I've never had to label myself when going to LGBT groups. It was never asked of me, which I thought was pretty cool.

 

I think labels are necessary to communicate to some extent, otherwise what's the point of the english language?

But I do think some labels go way overboard and are not needed. Demiromantic heteromantic pansexual is kind of too much to explain, so I can get why these people would be all "Fuck labels, I'll love who I love".

However, not everyone is bisexual/fluid nor can everyone have "exceptions", so having straight, gay, lesbian, etc as terms are needed for these people (or even for people who can make exceptions and just don't feel comfortable with others assuming anything that goes with the fluid label). They need a community and also need to communicate to see who is available to them to date as well as have other people know they are not available to certain genders, types, etc.

I label myself as a gamer, but I'm casual and not hardcore. If someone wants to assume HOW I play games based on their own assumptions, It's their fault and I'll just explain further. But if I ignored the label all together, I would not have a community nor would I be able to find friends with like-minded interests.

 

Far be it from me to decide whether someone else wants or needs labels.

For myself at least, I found them helpful to characterize my general feelings, but only for me. Someone else may read something entirely different into my label. For example, what it means for me to be a girl or a boy may not be what someone else understands those terms to mean.

In the end, it comes down to a feeling and doing what feels right. So I try to do that.

 

If you want to use labels, use them. If you don't, don't. To me it's pretty simple. Also, I believe that you can be out and part of a community without using labels simply by saying things like "I like women" or "I like men" or "I'm in love with my partner who is a man", "I love my partner who is a woman" etc.

 

Personally.. Having just recently really realized I am not straight.. After years of passing instances of attraction to women of as a "fluke" or "appreciation" I'm finding myself really wanting to know what this means, and what I am.

Not because I want to limit myself of box myself in.. But just as a starting point to understanding and accepting myself. When this is all new, it feels soooo huge! Like my whole world is changing and shifting aound the world I thought I belonged to.. And a label for me could mean a little piece of steady ground where I can breathe anf say "okay, this is where I am... Now to figure out where to go from here"

So I dont find labels a bad thing, as long as you're using them for the right reasons.

 

I'm scared of labelling myself because I don't want to be wrong. If I say "I don't want to label myself" I could be anything. I could be gay, straight, bi, pan or asexual. Unfortunately people still want to put me into categories. They ask me irritating questions about what gender I'm attracted to. That's none of their business and I often don't know what attraction even means. Mainly because I don't walk around feeling attracted to people.
At the moment I only want to date girls. Not comfortable calling myself gay because I might be fluid. I'm not comfortable calling myself bi because I don't want to date guys. The best label is no label or queer. Too bad most people don't know what it means or assume it's code for being bi.

 

Labels are needed, to an extent. For example, I listen to death metal. If someone tells me about a death metal band Ill check them out, I don't need to know that they are a technical brutal melodic death metal band, just death metal is enough. That is why is love the word queer because it says your not straight and most people don't need to know your exact orientation.

I completely agree with the external and internal reasoning behind labels. Labels are more important to ourselves, I think. And the idea of restricting yourself to what constitutes a label is very real, and very hard. I am a pansexual non-binary trans woman. That is a pretty specific label, and I really don't need it, but I feel comfort in knowing that because of each part of that label, there are others like me. Maybe not exactly like me, but similar enough. Its a source of community. Some days I feel slightly masculine, but most days are me feeling femininity mixed in with some other stuff entirely, and I am attracted to all genders. That is who I am, and I label myself mostly for the sake of others, and try to keep my thoughts mine and not confine to the trappings of a label.

 

What about labels that are intentionally vague such as "queer"? Labels don't have to be confining.

 

I feel that labels give us a sense of belonging. And even though some of us have more complicated labels, it still gives other people a better idea of who we really are, and who we're attracted to.

 

I kind of like that label, but I hate explaining it to ignorant straight people. They can't tolerate vague labels. They always want to know if someone is into men, women or both.