Ways to Increase Self-Esteem

The gain was probably random. You don't gain weight from running.

Loving yourself can be really hard. Setting it up as an actual goal might help.

You're doing what you're supposed to be doing right now! You're reaching out. It helps.

You also need to accept that there is no quick-fix magic to feel better about yourself. It takes time.

Reach out to your friends and/or family if you're in trouble and they can help you along.

One good thing to do is to tell yourself, before you go to bed or so, at least one good thing you did that day that you can feel good about.

Hope that helps! Together we're strong, sister!

(*hug*)

 

Self-esteem is a difficult thing for me to hang onto. Sometimes I feel like I am going to be great, but then I find out that I forgot to do something or get laughed at for something and my confidence disappears. Just keep moving forward and it will come back pretty quick.

As far as exercise is concerned, I am a runner. I usually do about 20 miles a week. When I run or go to the gym, I get bloated. I don't know why. I just look really pudgy after a workout and I weigh more than when I started. If you can, wait to weigh yourself until the next morning. Stand on the scale before you get in the shower and you will weigh less. Don't worry about it, I've been confused by that too.

 

You always gain weight when you first start exercising.

For one thing, water-retention is unpredictable as an influence on your weight. It really takes a long time to make permanent changes to your weight. Anything that occurs over the course of only a couple of days is probably almost all changes in your water-retention.

Secondly, you can spend weeks gaining muscle-weight as a result of exercise. This kind of weight-gain is good, and it actually is likely to have an enhancing effect on your figure. In the end, the very presence of the muscle will eventually start burning fat away because it is a giant energy-hog.

Don't measure your weight or your waist-line. Measure your habits first and their consequences second.

On self-esteem, it kind of starts with a sort of sinister plan, but remember that, although it's a sinister plan, it is a benevolent sinister plan. However, it is a sinister plan, all the same. This actually works. The real obstacle is figuring out what you want your benevolent sinister plan to actually be. Remember, you are a psychopathic dictator, but you are a good psychopathic dictator. This is how Steve Jobs did it. He fit a lot of the criteria for being a psychopath, but he put his madness to what most of us think is largely beneficial use.

 

^didn't think of that, yes, what I meant ^above was that you don't gain weight from running as in permanently gaining fat

 

MysteriousMadam, the trick to weight loss is it has to be gradual over time. For almost a year I worked really hard to lose over 50 lbs. I weighed myself every 2 weeks. Every day is futile because your body is so weird. Some days, I would barely eat, exercise a lot and found like you I had gained weight. But over the course of 2 weeks I dropped 2-3 lbs. It's all about the long-term.

 

You weighed an extra pound because whenever you exercise an area for the first time (in a while, anyway) the muscles and joints become inflamed because they aren't used to the exercise. This is also the reason why you feel sore the next day.

On a side note - If you weigh yourself after every 30 minute workout, you're never going to be pleased. Work hard and weigh yourself weekly. Not daily. I think this is pretty basic advice, but you're young so I'll say it anyway: You can work out for 7 hours a week but if you still eat like shit, you won't shred a pound.

 

I don't know if this will help you because everyone's different, but there's this one thing I try to always tell myself when I'm feeling unconfident or I screwed up.
It's that you're never more than a human being
And never less than a human being.

I hope that helps. Sometimes it does for me and sometimes it doesn't. But really thinking about what that quote means helps me and makes me feel more balanced.(*hug*)

Another thing is to train yourself not to let negative thoughts enter your head. When you start thinking bad things about yourself, try to work on recognizing that more and as soon as that starts, just stop thinking about it. Eventually, this can make you a less negative person. It will take time and practice and don't put too much pressure on yourself. I've noticed when I would try to improve my self-esteem, I would actually beat myself up for not making progress. Basically, feeling unconfident for feeling unconfident, which is a bad cycle and doesn't really help you. So just be patient because self-esteem doesn't just change over night, but the one thing you can do is try to stay positive and be patient with yourself.(*hug*)

 

As others have said, weight loss doesn't occur right after exercising. It's strange that you would weigh more... I'd expect water loss from sweating... But it definitely doesn't reflect whether or not your exercise routine will be effective. It takes time before you literally breathe away those fat stores.

Keep exercising. It will increase your self esteem regardless. It's good for the mind as well as the body.

---------- Post added 29th Jun 2015 at 01:27 PM ----------

You lose weight when you sleep because you breathe all night long. Breathing uses a lot of water (the lungs stay moist, so as you breathe, water evaporates). Water is quite heavy, so you can lose a few pounds just by sleeping. I'm not sure how much of an effect metabolism has, but our body is basically an efficient combustion engine. Solids with weight such as fats and sugars that your body is storing are burned into carbon dioxide (gas), water (which can be breathed or peed away), and energy (which eventually is dissipated). It's the same basic process as burning a chunk of wood into a small pile of ashes, so metabolism in general can cause weight loss. When you burn fat stores, you essentially breathe them away... Anyways, the point is you lose a lot of weight as water through the night which is normal. Many diet programs work initially because they cause water weight loss, but don't work permanently because they cause no fat loss. Also, if you weight yourself after using the restroom in the morning, that can cause a couple of pounds more to be lost. It's completely normal for your body weight to fluctuate a few pounds throughout the day. You shouldn't beat yourself up for gaining a pound or two throughout the day.... Drinking a few cups of water will cause you to gain a pound. You also shouldn't get too excited about losing a pound or two. What is telling about whether or not you are losing weight is the overall trend which you won't be able to see immediately.

Dressing up and doing things for yourself can certainly help your self esteem. Nobody feels good about themselves if they go out looking their worst. I know they I feel more confident when I am wearing something nice and have shaved, etc, compared to when I (don't give a crap) and basically crawl out of bed.

 

Muscle can use fat for energy. The thing is, muscle is actually a very inefficient tissue. It is an energy-hog. There is a reason that, by nature, we are not all more physically massive than we are. We could never, on an unpredictable Paleolithic diet, have obtained the kinds of nutrients necessary for maintaining it.

Also, another thing you ought to know is that women cannot really bulk up. They can to a limited extent, but they will never be able to bulk up like a guy. Observe the female athletes you see on YouTube. The ones who are not abusing steroids can still have a very feminine shape to their bodies, even those who are into competitive weight-lifting.

But you can still build up the strength of your muscles, and yes, it can help you burn fat. It doesn't actually turn into muscle, though. It is just that the muscle is basically a fat-eating monster.

 

Yea. Basically. The fat doesn't literally morph into muscle, but it can provide energy for building muscles and be broken down in the process.

You need to stop weighing yourself all the time. All your getting is a natural variation in the contents of yor digestive tract and the amount of water in your body. It has nothing to do with the amount of fat you have.

 

Yeah, a perfectly acceptable schedule for weighing yourself is weekly, and maybe you could keep a diary of your exercise and caloric intake. It really takes a long time to make permanent changes in your weight, and if you lose weight too fast, it could rebound, right up in your face.

You have to be willing to make permanant changes in how you live. The gym, if that is the route you are comfortable with, has to become just what you do, not just something you are doing in order to lose weight.

I put exercise in the same place, in my mind, as taking a shower every day. I feel disgusting if I don't get my little bit of ANY exercise. And I should. It's internal hygiene. You are literally scraping gunk from out of your lymphatic system and from out of your blood vessels. Not exercising regularly is just as nasty as not showering regularly.

 

As shy as I am I get a boost when I force myself to be more outgoing

 

I think weighing yourself only every other week or once a week is a good idea, like has been suggested above.
If I were you I'd set exact dates and record your progress in a notebook or on your computer or so. So now it's the first of July, so if you record today you can record one week on on the 8th of July, then 15th and so on and see your progress with time.

Make sure you exercise regularly and eat healthy, lots of veggies and food with a lot of protein, they make you feel full and have less calories.
Also, it's good to exchange fats such as from lard or butter for oils like olive oil or rapeseed oil. You live in the US, so corn oil should be cheap too if you ask your parents to buy it.
When you're weight lifting, I'd recommend light weights only and a lot of reps. That is efficient for weight loss.
Jogging is about the best too, it's good you're doing that Try to run slowly such that you don't run out of breath, and run a bit longer every day.

 

If you have a bad body image, losing weight won't do you any good at all.

Why exactly do you feel the need to lose weight to begin with?

Don't count calories, whatever you do. Just don't. Don't worry about them. It easily becomes very unhealthy.

 

Do whatever you feel like. But don't get into the habit of always complaining, because then it becomes less venting and more of a dependency. You stimulate yourself with negativity to feel something, and you can get a quick fix of sympathy, which is comforting to somebody with negativity. It becomes a habit that drains everyone around you, as it did you.

I don't say this to be a jerk, but to bring up a question you should be asking yourself:

Do I complain or celebrate more?
That tells you a lot about your attitude, as well as the slant you have in perception. It's hard to break a self-defeating attitude, but it feels soooooo good to throw it to the curb, to conquer that and liberate the real you.

Work on achieving some kind of balance. At the very least, have a positive or kind thing to say about yourself and your life, for every negative or critical thing. If you have a hard time coming up with positives, I'll get you started:

You're active. This means you can make an effort.
You're sensitive. This means you have the potential for emotional depth.
You're loving. This means you have the potential to be, well, loving.
You're good-looking. This is pretty obvious.
You're perceptive. The stuff you say and what you focus on, is very telling of the fine mind you possess.

Embrace your talents and qualities. Otherwise, you'll find it to be a lot more difficult to feel better about yourself.

Let's add responsible to the list of positive qualities about you.

No. It's how you speak. The style, the flare, the incorporation of certain words and points. You can have the most boring topic in the world to talk about, or the most exciting, and the speed of which you present will factor very little into it.

I've noticed folks pay attention more if I'm entertaining or amusing. Sound like you're having the best damn time when you speak, or be humbly happy. Generate a soothing environment and people will become drawn to that. Your presentation trumps content when it comes to casual or formal talk, because folks may forget what you say but will always remember how you made them feel.

Personal talks, though, are most likely a different story.

If you're making folks feel good, like they matter, and you're showing them you are a pleasant person to be around, well, you're winning at life. Congratulations.

As others have said, weight gain will happen when you work out. But, fortunately, you will also lose some. Just remember that certain exercises tone and shape the body, as opposed to just cutting off excess weight. You're going to gain a little bit, but keep at it, and things will fall into a better place.

If I weighed myself every day, I'd be really discouraged. So I do it every other week, if even that. See, instead of worrying so much about weight, it's more about sticking to the routine and keeping at it. Whether I lose a pound or not doesn't matter, because the fact I even do this is reason enough to take some pride. I may not have the shape I want (though this is a somewhat different reason), but I've got impressive stamina. That's something, and it allows me to use this in other aspects of my life, too.

Improved stamina? I can walk/jog/run longer.
Improved stamina? I can swim longer.
Improved stamina? I have a nice degree of control over my body, so somebody, one day, is going to get the marathon session of loving, LOL.

It also helps to have a little humor, too. Laugh at life, not yourself. Life is a cruel and merciless bitch sometimes, and you should never give her the satisfaction of succumbing to her whim. Make that bitch take notice; do something, find your God damn pride, and live to spite her.

Start small if you need to -- a compliment in the mirror while brushing your teeth -- but start. When you begin to control your life, you will find your confidence, and the shadows that surround you now, will dispel then. You will be free to feel the warmth of self-love and the spark that is known as value.

<3