What luck have you had explaining the label queer? I've mostly had bad luck. Mainly because people don't like the undefined nature of that label.
When I use it as an umbrella term for gender and sexual minorities it is usually met with a cringe and a look of shock. Apparently most people still view it as a derogatory term for gay men.
I don't much try to explain it to people. Its one of those words with so many forms of denotation and connotation, that it's hard to pin down the most used/accurate description. When I came out to my friend, I didn't use the term queer, as I figured it would confuse him more than it would help him understand the situation.
Queer to me means strange or weird, so I don't call other people weird. However I'm perfectly fine with my friends calling me queer as I am 'strange' for someone my age. Plus I usually reply with a little snarky comment, e.g. Friend: You're a little queer today for your good... Me: Yes, much those tits of yours that you proclaim to be natural... Still I would not recommend using the term 'queer' it's not a popular term to use and still has many derogatory connotations.
Whenever I use the word "queer" it is used in an academic voice, and the word itself is usually used to refer to all gender and sexual minorities. In the US and other countries, academia has almost no problems with using it. Other countries such as England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and Ireland, it is not used as often, because the term "queer" is still considered a derogatory term among the LGBTQ community, but some academics still use it. When I explain the usage of the word, most people understand how in context, it has been separated from its derogatory past, at least in my country and the particular University I'm attending.
I'm actually not a huge fan of the word. If people want to reclaim the slur and use it for themselves, fine... but I personally don't really like being called queer. Luckily, I live in the Netherlands and there's not really a Dutch word for 'queer' so I've never had to explain it or listen to people around me use it... what a beautiful country.
I am not a fan of the word queer for me either, but I think for others it's useful if you know you are non-straight but don't have or want a specific label.
I think when using the word queer, people kind of already have an idea of what you're talking about, at least when it comes to sexuality. I don't really use it though but if I do it's probably because I'm joking around and I tend for it to be offensive to whatever it is I'm referring to, not to the group or whoever prefers it to which the word is associated with.
I just googled the word to see what the online dictionaries have to say about it... they say it is "A reclaimed word is a word that was formerly used solely as a slur but that has been semantically overturned by members of the maligned group, who use it as a term of defiant pride. Queer is an example of a word undergoing this process. For decades queer was used as a derogatory adjective for gays and lesbians, but in the 1980s the term began to be used by gay and lesbian activists as a term of self-identification. Eventually, it came to be used as an umbrella term that included gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgender people. Nevertheless, a sizable percentage of people to whom this term might apply still hold queer to be a hateful insult, and its use by heterosexuals is often considered offensive. Similarly, other reclaimed words are usually offensive to the in-group when used by outsiders, so caution must be taken with their use when one is not a member of the group." I wouldn't personally use it to describe myself, nor any other LGBTIQ person. I would be too worried that I would be called disrespectful/homo/transphobic by someone and that it would ultimately lead to perceived insult or offence. That's just my opinion though.
I think the word queer is way more offensive when people use it as noun. All of the people who reclaimed it seem to use it as a verb.
I don't mind when people= use queer as a personal label, but it does bother me when they use it for the entire LGBT community, since a lot of people have had bad experiences with that word, to me it seems wrong to use it for everyone. Plus it's still commonly used in lots of other countries. It doesn't even seem like it's been totally reclaimed in the US to me because I still hear it used in a derogatory way fairly often.
