1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Thoughts On Polyamory

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Taly, Jun 29, 2015.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

Page 1 of 4
  1. Taly

    Taly
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2015
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Phew... Another thread that took some bravery on my part. Hopefully... I can bring up this topic in a tactful way... (I think I've done good with my threads so far --- so I don't want to sound ignorant or anything when I speak about this topic.)

    I find that there is quite a lot of stigma directed towards the idea of polygamy. The stereotypes tend to irk me a lot as well... (Mostly the ones where people blindly believe that polygamy is usually about just an unfaithful person from 1 sex, being promiscuous with several people from another - which isn't true a lot of the time.) Along with the notion that people are 'immoral' for having polygamous relationships.

    And then there are a lot of people that get haughty whenever they don't have a 2-way-only commitment with someone. Which is understandable; but I don't get all the aversion directed towards the idea of more than 2 people being in a relationship...

    Personally, polygamous relationships sound more appealing than 2-person ones at times --- at least if people are mature and know how to manage themselves and adversity within a group. I mean, to me - it gives access for more possible activities, more people to connect and learn with, and if people don't have some jealousy complex - emotional baggage could be a very easy thing to deal with. Not to mention, being in a polygamous relationship would seem to reduce the idea of people wanting to stray from there partner - via being attracted to more than just them. It just seems more flexible; and it puts a weird taste in my mouth when people bash on it without giving much critical thought beforehand.

    But then again, I don't know how much I can do before I might want to favor someone over another. So... Meh. Maybe 2-person relationships are more favorable to the masses and myself.

    What do you guys think about polygamy? Do you ever find yourself being in a relationship that consists of more than 2 people? Have you ever been in this type of relationship? What was it like?
     
    #1 Taly, Jun 29, 2015
  2. kageshiro

    kageshiro Guest

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2012
    Messages:
    655
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    in your soul
    Re: Thoughts On Polygamy

    For me the only problem I have with it is that one quality boyfriend is hard enough to find, let alone more...
     
    #2 kageshiro, Jun 29, 2015
  3. bubbles123

    bubbles123 Guest

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2015
    Messages:
    934
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    New England, US
    Re: Thoughts On Polygamy

    I've never been in a polygamous relationship (or many relationships in general). Personally, I probably wouldn't just because I know I'd get jealous easily.

    But I don't think there's anything wrong with polygamy as long as it's consensual and the relationship doesn't negatively affect the emotional well-being of anyone involved. The same goes with any type of relationship, really.

    I think people mostly just see the "cult-type" polygamists on the news, etc. and assume that's the way all polygamy is. But likewise, there are also very abusive 2-person relationships.
     
    #3 bubbles123, Jun 29, 2015
  4. yaoicore

    yaoicore Guest

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2015
    Messages:
    402
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    florida
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Re: Thoughts On Polygamy

    it's already hard for me to find some one to love as it is
     
    #4 yaoicore, Jun 29, 2015
  5. HM03

    HM03
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2013
    Messages:
    2,625
    Likes Received:
    508
    Location:
    Pergatory
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Re: Thoughts On Polygamy

    I would get so jealous :lol: It's not for me, but if everybody involved in it is okay with it then whatever :slight_smile:
     
    #5 HM03, Jun 29, 2015
  6. biAnnika

    biAnnika
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2011
    Messages:
    1,839
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Northeastern US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Re: Thoughts On Polygamy

    *sigh* This question gets asked from time to time in exactly this way, and it absolutely drives me nuts, because I *have* to ask for clarification every bloody time.

    Kaly, I applaud your bravery for wondering and for asking. But might you by chance mean "Thoughts on Polyamory" and be wondering about the viability of polyamorous relationships?

    Because although the notion of having several husbands or of being one of some man's several wives (i.e., polygamy) has *seriously* limited appeal, the thought of being part of a group of people who respect and love one another and have some kind of extended sexual relationship is quite appealing, and I could be willing to say more.

    But if you *mean* polyamory, then I would appreciate everyone's language changing to *say* polyamory, because whereas polygamy is currently illegal in the US, nobody, to my knowledge is trying to legislate love or sex...and I don't want people conflating the two notions.
     
    #6 biAnnika, Jun 29, 2015
  7. Batman

    Batman
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2013
    Messages:
    847
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Ontario
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Re: Thoughts On Polygamy

    I have no qualms with polyamorous relationships.

    That said, I don't think I'd be great in a relationship like that. It would probably end in the other two ditching me :lol:
     
    #7 Batman, Jun 29, 2015
  8. Taly

    Taly
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2015
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Re: Thoughts On Polygamy

    Damn it. I was afraid I was using a term or something wrongly here.

    Actually; I never even heard the word polyamory - or at least in contrast to polygamy. o_o *Reads up on the two definitions*

    Polyamory is much more closer to what I'm talking about.

    Sigh... I need to a mod to change this thread title. Changing it to "Thoughts on Polyamory" or something like that
     
    #8 Taly, Jun 29, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 29, 2015
  9. Aspen

    Aspen
    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2014
    Messages:
    1,471
    Likes Received:
    239
    Location:
    Ohio
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Re: Thoughts On Polygamy

    To each their own.

    As for me, I'm happy with monogamy. I get jealous too easily and have enough to work on communicating within one relationship.
     
    #9 Aspen, Jun 29, 2015
  10. Taly

    Taly
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2015
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Re: Thoughts On Polygamy

    I feel stupid. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
    #10 Taly, Jun 29, 2015
  11. kageshiro

    kageshiro Guest

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2012
    Messages:
    655
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    in your soul
    Re: Thoughts On Polygamy

    You should feel smart :slight_smile:
     
    #11 kageshiro, Jun 29, 2015
  12. Emmanuella

    Emmanuella
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2012
    Messages:
    431
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    La lune
    Re: Thoughts On Polygamy

    Personally, I don't think I'd ever be able to engage in a polyamorous relationship. I think I'd have a problem with jelousy... or maybe more insecurity than jelousy. I'd worry that the other lover was better/closer/held to a higher esteem than me. I'd compare myself a lot... and I just wouldn't feel the same sense of romance.

    Maybe it is selfish on my part, but I love the traditional romantic idea of having one human being that means more to me than ANYBODY else...
    and I want to be the person's only OTHER. I want to be the ONE person that they need and go to for certain things etc. (Of course they need their friends and family, but I want that space in their life that is reserved for me alone.)
    But that is just my own selfishness.
     
    #12 Emmanuella, Jun 29, 2015
  13. Daydreamer1

    Daydreamer1
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2011
    Messages:
    5,680
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Re: Thoughts On Polygamy

    Being in a poly relationship isn't my cup of tea (I'm honestly too selfish to share someone with another person out of fear I'm not good enough for them), but whatever is between consenting adults is none of my business.
     
    #13 Daydreamer1, Jun 29, 2015
  14. sartorious

    sartorious
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2015
    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    indonesia
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Re: Thoughts On Polygamy

    Polygamy as in having multiple wives... not for me ofc , since i have no interest to build a relationship whatsoever with any girls

    Polyamory on the other hand are still plausible for me as long as all the party involved are okay with it ofc =) but i'm sure i cant handle it properly... and its hard enough to find a decent guy here since almost no guy willing to admit that they're gay openly.
     
    #14 sartorious, Jun 29, 2015
  15. Kaiser

    Kaiser Guest

    Joined:
    May 10, 2014
    Messages:
    2,867
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    кєηтυ¢ку
    Re: Thoughts On Polygamy

    At the moment, I believe monogamy is my cup of tea.

    What others want to do, if all parties are aware and communicating to understand, is their call and so be it. I've got my own life to worry about; bigger fish to fry.

    However, polyamory may be the only solution for this body of mine.




    LOL.
     
    #15 Kaiser, Jun 29, 2015
  16. Gandee

    Gandee Guest

    Re: Thoughts On Polygamy

    "Mine, all mine"

    While I may have feelings for more than one person, I can only fully commit myself to one. This has nothing to do with "insecurity" or "jealousy" as others put it. It's the respect that I have for my values. Polyamory is harder to execute. Lordy, communication between 2 mature people is hard enough, now throw in a few more people! I can't see myself to feel the same/equal emotional connection to everyone involved. That is simply too idealistic. Someone is going to play favorite, someone is going to feel rejected, and someone will get hurt.
     
    #16 Gandee, Jun 29, 2015
  17. loveislove01

    loveislove01
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2015
    Messages:
    872
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Earth, probably
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Re: Thoughts On Polygamy

    Personally, not to be offensive or mean, I do think it is a little weird.
    But...there's nothing really wrong with it, and polyamory can be great, just like any other relationship, and if it's consensual and all parties involved are equal and it isn't harming others, there's no problem in it.

    I consider myself to be a super monogamous person, I think. I've had several crushes, but one at a time, never two at once. I also tend to kind of be the "jealous" type. As in, I won't feel bad if my partner spends time with someone else. But if there is flirting or even more, it would be a deal breaker. It's not what I would do, I prefer long, committed type relationships with one person.

    But hey, to each their own. No judgement
     
    #17 loveislove01, Jun 29, 2015
  18. Cider

    Cider
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2015
    Messages:
    339
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Iowa
    Re: Thoughts On Polygamy

    I definitely wouldn't be able to do it...

    I would get jealous pretty easily, but that's not even the main thing. The main thing is that I would feel like I'm not good enough for that person I'm with and my self esteem would go down lower and lower.
     
    #18 Cider, Jun 29, 2015
  19. Tightrope

    Tightrope
    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2013
    Messages:
    5,415
    Likes Received:
    387
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Re: Thoughts On Polygamy

    Against it.

    Reading the menu for those on a diet must be hard enough, but no thanks to non-monogamous relationships, at least as far as I'm concerned.

    Remain single if you have roving eyes and want to do something about it.
     
    #19 Tightrope, Jun 29, 2015
  20. Steele

    Steele
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2013
    Messages:
    631
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    West Coast, United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Re: Thoughts On Polygamy

    Hey, whatever floats your boat. Speaking for myself, I find that I can only really feel attached to one person at a time, so a polygamous relationship probably wouldn't work out too well for me. But there are obviously people out there who like the idea of polygamous relationships, so if they can make it work then more power to them.
     
    #20 Steele, Jun 29, 2015
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 1 of 4