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I really need advice

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Ashleigh16, Jul 1, 2015.

  1. Ashleigh16

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    I've been trying to get some advice for a couple dayside a situation with a close friend. Please message me or reply here. I'm getting kind of desperate. Very few people I'm around living in the Bible Belt in an extremely homophobic household are accepting let alone could I get advice
     
  2. unsureofmyself

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    So what exactly is your situation?? Would you mind being a little more specific? Sorry if you dont want to, just an idea so its easier to provide advice! ☺
     
  3. Ashleigh16

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    Absolutely. I'm in a super homophobic home as is my best friend who came out to me Sunday. Long story. We've come to the place where we are starting to consider being tier her just to get parents to leave us alone. He came out to his Friday and they took his phone and said he's possessed by the devil
     
  4. Ashleigh16

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    I don't know where to go from here it's all just so hard
     
  5. sheenak

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    You don't say your age but is moving in to your own place a possibility
     
  6. Christiaan

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    Patience. I would absolutely council patience in the absence of physical abuse. Usually, parents simmer down after a while, and although you can't expect miracles as far as getting them to see reality, if you don't escalate, it's a pretty safe situation, just a frustrating one.

    If you see any evidence of physical abuse or think he's about to break and run (if he's a minor, since the laws against minors not accompanied by guardians are pretty cruel), call in social services immediately. Don't mess with the cops: they are idiots about this kind of situation. Social services actually are programmed to understand these situations.

    https://dss.sc.gov/content/customers/protection/index.aspx

    For serious, don't bother them unless he is in actual physical danger or is being physically abused, meaning provably. If he starts any drug habits or is engaging in self-harming behavior, they can help. That is what the service is intended for, not for mere parental imbecility.

    But being possessed by the devil is, by itself, pretty safe. I have fond memories of when I was possessed by the devil. It's a hoot. The best thing that YOU can do is help him keep his sense of humor.
     
    #6 Christiaan, Jul 1, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2015
  7. Ashleigh16

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    I'll be 17 in September. So when I graduate next year possibly but not right now

    ---------- Post added 1st Jul 2015 at 07:21 AM ----------

    I know. It just breaks my heart. I didn't realize how close I was to him until it hit me I'm on my third day of almost no sleep two of which I've worked and that's why. I just know what I've gone through and I'm scared he will pick up some of the self destructive habits I had over parents being awful and that was my imagination and they weren't even doing anything! The other thing I hate is I go to my mom with everything and it's driving me nuts that I can't be honest with her about this. What's so bad is I told her my friend and I had to talk and she wa guessing a bunch of obnoxious things and making fun of the lgbt community and she literally guessed exactly. It's awful but I'm learning to lie and fake it.
     
  8. sheenak

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    Probably not want you want to hear but I'd start getting money together so when that day comes you're ready. For now though I'd just be careful not to escalate things. I know this doesn't help much but remember it does get better.
     
  9. Ashleigh16

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    Also I don't have a ton of contact with him because they took his phone but me being the strong christian they figure he's safe talking to me. And I'll see him tonight at least. At church. They said he could come.
     
  10. Christiaan

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    Let me just stress, patience and sense of humor. He must not panic, in this situation. When he's 18, they can't hold him against his will anymore, but at that point, the answer still won't be to cut and run.

    You know what happens in that situation? The same thing that happens to a combat veteran. Your body is running on leftover adrenaline, and you start craving stimulation. There is a reason that meth is rampant in the LGBT community. This is it. Running is not the answer. Calm down the fight-or-flight reaction first, and help him get into a situation where he can think more rationally.
     
  11. Ashleigh16

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    I think he's doing better than I am. I mean he's really upset but he's being pretty compliant. I just see a repeat of this coming if I come out tbh.