What's your opinion on gay bars?

I recommend going on off days at first. Weekends just draw a lot of retarded, loud meth addicts, or that is all you see if you are alone. A Tuesday evening shooting billiards with a cocky trans-lady, though, can really rev your spirits. Weekends are awesome sauce if you have company. If you have a circle, you start to understand the madness.

 

Never liked them, they seem too generic/preppy, and seem to cater to stereotypes. Plus, there's always this odd meat-market pressure, and tons of loud-mouthed people on cocaine, a drug that tends to make people 10 times as annoying as normal. And the music is typically this horrendous pop and techno/disco stuff...not my scene. Plus, there's a tendency towards cliques, and a certain cattiness that also annoys me.

I've had a lot more fun going to bars that have a mixed crowd; there's one near the art school where people are gay, straight, trans, young, old, black, white, artsy, blue-collar...very eclectic.

Gay bars tend to have a very homogenized feel; it's as if there's a certain number of 'images' you have to fit, and not much room for too much individuality.

But that's me; for some, they're a lot of fun...maybe if they had more of an 'alternative' themed one, I'd check it out, but from San Fran to Chicago to DC, they all seem sorta the same, give or take.

 

1. Never go alone.

2. Always guard your drink.

3. Always question people's motives.

 

I'm not sure you'll get a feel of the community in a gay bar... or any bar for that matter.

I myself have never been to a gay bar, I just think it'd make me feel very uncomfortable - all those guys dancing, having fun, drinking... and then there's me - probably sitting alone, not dancing and not drinking. Yeah, I guess I'll skip going for a while.

 

If it's a low-key bar that caters to a gay clientele, I love it. If it's a dance club with drag shows, forget it. Not my scene.

 

I love the gay bar and feel safe there. since I don't really live in a big city its mostly local people who wanna talk and you don't have to worry about people hating you. plus i love dancing. <3<3<3
My suggestion is go to a small one on a busy night.

Edit: also semi charmed life is definitely right about this^ those don't feel very safe.

 

Gay bars come in all shapes and sizes, although a lot can depend on how many are in your area, since a smaller area will have fewer to choose from.

If the area is big enough (or the local bars do different theme nights or something to broaden their appeal), then you may be able to sample everything from a big dance club to a relatively quiet neighborhood or dive bar with pool tables and dart competitions. The trick then becomes finding a bar whose overall vibe (in general or on certain nights) fits your taste.

Some things to keep in mind:

1) be polite. Be polite to the bartender. Be polite and talk to the regulars. Be polite if someone hits on you and you are turning them down. If someone is rude to you, try not to descend to their level unless you must.

2) being hit on is not an insult. If you're not interested, politely decline and move on.

3) a certain amount of locker room humor may be expected in some conversations.

4) in some places or during some events, some guys may be shirtless. If you like what you see, enjoy the view. If you don't, just ignore this bit and go on with what you were doing.

5) if you find that a particular bar/theme/gay bars in general are not to your taste, that's fine. But please refrain from using that fact as an excuse to blame or look down on all the people who are there and who are enjoying themselves. Ultimately, this is a matter of personal taste, not some epic struggle between good and evil or something that can tell you everything about someone's character based on one situation.

Todd

 

Sounds just like I coulda said it myself :eek:
Never been to a gay bar
I'd be going alone, (& I'm kinda shy/socially awkward) which would mean I'd deff be sitting all alone.
I couldn't dance if my life depended on it :lol:
Plus whats the point in going to a bar if you can't drink anything (still gotta get home which requires driving...)

That all said: It'd be interesting to see what one would be like/the thought is tempting (if it weren't for the above..)
A couple times a member from another forum was in an event (& I went to watch said event). Afterwards most people there headed to a gay bar... I gotta say that was tempting to go to, but both times I didn't have the time/had to get back home.

 

I only was in a bar once, it was a normal bar, nothing special. I think i'm to shy for that. Maybe with friends(if i had some) but not really alone. There would be to many loud and drunk people.

 

I might have already asked you this, but what part of NY do you live in? I've been wanting to check out a gay bar (not club) for a while but my city only has 1 gay club and it attracts desperate guys looking for 1 night stands, which I'm not into.

I guess Rochester has a more laid back, craft beer style pub that leans more to the gay crowd that sounds cool but it's 2 hours away and I have no friends that would want to go.

 

@NekoLucy, I heard your avatar picture say, "Hey, dude! Yo! Uhhh..." Perfect. So hipster.

One very important tip. If you want to catch some horrible disease you don't want to know about, then go to a bath house. I swear, people in most places will come up and hit on you harmlessly, and you can smile in a condescending and haughty sort of way, going, "Oh, you're cute, but older guys are more my thing." At a bath house? They come up and virtually rape you. Being in a "maze-sauna" and stark-naked is apparently "implied consent." I'm sure they would back off if told explicitly to piss off, but those places are madhouses.

The one time I went to a gay bathhouse, spelling it as one word now, was when I stopped in DC, since their rooms were cheaper than most motels if you checked in at 12 a.m.. I will say no more. There is only one in D.C. that is worth a damn, and you can figure out where it was if you really want to. But seriously, I liked the people there...I just know that their conduct is certainly not safe. It's not even intelligent. Going there is like saying, "I'm depressed, and I'm feeling vaguely suidal but needing a little extra motivation, such as an acquired terminal illness." I went there once, and it was seven guys in one night, which is the majority of people I have had sex with in my life. It was insane. I did it once but never again, ever.

Basically, I am going to go back to my original contribution here: find a place where you can shoot billiards with some nice trans-lady or a drag-queen (there is a difference) on a slow night. It is so tranquilizing. It is cute. It is innocent. It is quiet. I think it is a very good introduction to meeting other gay, lesbian, bi and trans people. Fewer people is good. They are more approachable, and they are nicer.

The worst intro to gay bars is to go there on a Friday or Saturday. The only people who are not already engaged in conversation are useless methheads. If it is a VERY small bar, then that is the only time you can meet people at all, on the weekends. At a large one, though, it can be very very fun if you go there with a crowd of people you know, and it can suck a lot and even cause you a panic attack if you don't know anybody.

 

I honestly would love to check one out but, alas, no way in hell I'd muster up the courage to go alone, while closeted...>_>

 

It's the world, just more condensed.

You will find a jerk, a sleaze, a liar, a cheater, an abuser, a drug user, a racist, but you may also find somebody worth your time. I mean, if you're there and consider yourself a decent individual, isn't it reasonable to stand somebody else may be doing the same?

Bars are not particularly an enjoyable place, for me. Privates bars are a potential exception to this, since you have a better idea of the personalities and vibe.

One thing bars do, though, that you cannot quite do via apps or sites, is allow you to actually be around somebody. There's something about being around others, but usually only if we like those who we are around. If I'm having a good time with somebody, being around them is preferable, because it is teasing me otherwise.

I like a little teasing, but there is a limit, LOL.

 

Never been to one lol but think I would like to at some point