Changing my Name - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

xballetxbeautyx · 14th Dec 2008, 06:08 PM

So for those of you that don't know, my mom is gay also. She's been with her partner for sixteen or seventeen years, and I call them both mom. (We'll call my mom M and her partner J). My sister is J's daughter. I have M's last name and my sis has J's. For a while now, I've been thinking about changing my name to have both of my parents' names, with a hyphen between them.

When I asked M, she said, "Well, I don't know if that's going to happen. We'll see." J was excited and said she was very, very proud of me. I know this is what I want because they're both my mom and I want both of them in my name. Most women change their last name when they get married, so their children have both parents' names, in a way. I want both of mine.

What do you think, EC? Good idea, bad idea? Any thoughts on how to convince M? I really, really want to do this. ~megan~

littledinosaurs · 14th Dec 2008, 06:11 PM

I think its a fine idea

14th Dec 2008, 06:13 PM

I think it's a good idea. One of my friends mother kept her maiden name when she married just because her husbands name was too long and hard for most people to pronounce xD. So my friend has her mother's maiden name as her middle name and her fathers last name as her last name, that's how her parents named her. Just something to consider instead of hyphenation.

Hoppip · 14th Dec 2008, 06:15 PM

I think it's a great idea! Do it! I mean, they've been together for ~17 years, I'm pretty sure it's a solid relationship.

Maybe you could talk to M about how it's your decision (your name) and that you want to do it in order to connect the family further. It's all about love! J is your mom too, and you love her enough, so why not?

Good luck!

Amy · 14th Dec 2008, 06:22 PM

I think that it's a great idea.

Wander · 14th Dec 2008, 07:03 PM

Only thing I can say is to ditch the hyphen. Hyphenated last names look silly, four names is cool.

Dazed · 14th Dec 2008, 07:43 PM

thats so sweet...seems like a good idea to me..i would find out if there a reason she dont want you to change your name..the best thing to do is just talk to her about it

Dancueorsaurus · 15th Dec 2008, 02:34 AM

I like the idea of the hyphenation. The only thing is that some kids with divorced parents put a hyphen in between. The questions "Oh are you parents divorced?" and "Who do you live with? Your mom or your dad?" will come up. ((This happened to a friend of mine who has two dads)) Most people in America think of male/female couple and not male/male or female/female. So due to narrow minded-ness of others, expect questions to come up.

Other than that, it's a lovely idea! Sounds like your mother's realationship is going strong! I wish them the best of luck!

panda · 15th Dec 2008, 07:08 PM

Good Idea!!!

Derek the Wolf · 15th Dec 2008, 07:57 PM

I think it's a great idea.

Greggers · 15th Dec 2008, 08:21 PM

Ask your mom first to make sure she is also 100% behind it, and make sure the name sounds good

14th Dec 2008, 06:08 PM	#1
xballetxbeautyx Heterodox Homosexual Full Member Gender: (.)(.) Orientation: Kinsey 5? Ish? Out Status: If you don't know, where have you been all my life Location: Midwest USA Age: 17 Posts: 1,719 Join Date: Mar 2008	Changing my Name So for those of you that don't know, my mom is gay also. She's been with her partner for sixteen or seventeen years, and I call them both mom. (We'll call my mom M and her partner J). My sister is J's daughter. I have M's last name and my sis has J's. For a while now, I've been thinking about changing my name to have both of my parents' names, with a hyphen between them. When I asked M, she said, "Well, I don't know if that's going to happen. We'll see." J was excited and said she was very, very proud of me. I know this is what I want because they're both my mom and I want both of them in my name. Most women change their last name when they get married, so their children have both parents' names, in a way. I want both of mine. What do you think, EC? Good idea, bad idea? Any thoughts on how to convince M? I really, really want to do this. ~megan~ __________________ I can't go to Pigfarts! IT'S ON MARS. You need a rocketship! Do you have a rocketship, Potter? Look at this - it's Rocketship Potter! Starkid Potter! Moonshoes Potter! Traversing the galaxy for intergalactic travels to Pigfarts!

14th Dec 2008, 06:11 PM	#2
littledinosaurs J'essaie de Parler Français! :] Full Member Gender: Garçon Orientation: Bisexuel Location: Nouvelle-Angleterre. Age: 21 Posts: 2,351 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: Changing my Name I think its a fine idea __________________ Âllo Là

14th Dec 2008, 06:13 PM	#3
Midnight Angel Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Changing my Name I think it's a good idea. One of my friends mother kept her maiden name when she married just because her husbands name was too long and hard for most people to pronounce xD. So my friend has her mother's maiden name as her middle name and her fathers last name as her last name, that's how her parents named her. Just something to consider instead of hyphenation.

14th Dec 2008, 06:15 PM	#4
Hoppip look at the good i do Full Member Gender: Lv. 18 ♂ Orientation: Water / Dragon Out Status: Uncommon Location: Johto Posts: 1,562 Join Date: May 2008	Re: Changing my Name I think it's a great idea! Do it! I mean, they've been together for ~17 years, I'm pretty sure it's a solid relationship. Maybe you could talk to M about how it's your decision (your name) and that you want to do it in order to connect the family further. It's all about love! J is your mom too, and you love her enough, so why not? Good luck! __________________ KUDOS ME. I made myshelf pregnant.

14th Dec 2008, 06:22 PM	#5
Amy DFTBA Full Member Gender: Somewhere between female and I don't know Out Status: Open, not out. Location: Northern California, United States Age: 18 Posts: 2,380 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Changing my Name I think that it's a great idea. __________________ "The opposite of love is not hate, but fear" Forrest Church

14th Dec 2008, 07:03 PM	#6
Wander Banned Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Parents, aunts, grandma, counselor, online friends Location: Central Alabama Age: 18 Posts: 2,360 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: Changing my Name Only thing I can say is to ditch the hyphen. Hyphenated last names look silly, four names is cool.

14th Dec 2008, 07:43 PM	#7
Dazed Banned Gender: ladyfella Orientation: MaddyBensexual Out Status: out to all :] Location: Richmond VA Age: 24 Posts: 2,189 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: Changing my Name thats so sweet...seems like a good idea to me..i would find out if there a reason she dont want you to change your name..the best thing to do is just talk to her about it

15th Dec 2008, 02:34 AM	#8
Dancueorsaurus Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: One friend knows Location: Oregon Posts: 13 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: Changing my Name I like the idea of the hyphenation. The only thing is that some kids with divorced parents put a hyphen in between. The questions "Oh are you parents divorced?" and "Who do you live with? Your mom or your dad?" will come up. ((This happened to a friend of mine who has two dads)) Most people in America think of male/female couple and not male/male or female/female. So due to narrow minded-ness of others, expect questions to come up. Other than that, it's a lovely idea! Sounds like your mother's realationship is going strong! I wish them the best of luck! __________________ ~Dancueorsaurus (_((__CRAYOLA((_( > Dancer for Life

15th Dec 2008, 07:08 PM	#9
panda EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: A few people Location: Toronto,Canada Age: 67 Posts: 4,653 Join Date: Aug 2007	Re: Changing my Name Good Idea!!!

15th Dec 2008, 07:57 PM	#10
Derek the Wolf Furry Overlord Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Pansexual Out Status: Majority Location: Illinois Age: 20 Posts: 1,325 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Changing my Name I think it's a great idea. __________________

15th Dec 2008, 08:21 PM	#11
Greggers Sunshine & Optimism ...also Angels. Full Member Gender: Theatre Queen Orientation: Disco Sticks Out Status: Everyone and a few more Location: BC, Canada Age: 21 Posts: 3,528 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: Changing my Name Ask your mom first to make sure she is also 100% behind it, and make sure the name sounds good __________________ "It's a male duck."

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