How many refusals take for you to give up?

Well, one...I have to notice it first though. And I'm really terrible at that.

 

I'd say one actual, honest refusal, and I don't know why people persist past a "no". To me that's incredibly strange, because I know I'd hate having someone who wants something I'm just not interested in hanging around and being a nuisance about it.

 

1

 

One clear refusal is good. And I don't mean I already have something else this weekend.

 

I am confused on the matter, usually. Prople engage in such double-talk, it is hard to tell what they mean. A clear "You are making me uncomfortable," though, is an occasion for tearful apologies and running.

As I say, what attracts me is a person being attracted to me. I am not complicated. I want to be appreciated, and feeling I am a burden is most uncomfortable. I need a clear answer.

 

Depending on the person I wouldn't honestly give it all up at the first no. I wouldn't make it all weird though. Very subtle and respecting their boundaries but if I get a second no then I'd let it be.

 

Twice.

 

One clear refusal where it's fairly certain that the interest is not reciprocated.

I've learned not to push since I wouldn't like to be pushed if I wasn't interested.

When there's a refusal with a valid excuse but there is some interest, the person doing the refusing usually leaves the door open and it would come across as sincere.

 

Well, too bad for them. Some people are really horrifically bad at reading social cues.

Which is why I advise to absolutely everyone that asks me a question along the lines of "this guy I'm trying to just be friends with just can't take a hint" to be utterly and supremely clear. Trust me, it'll hurt a hell of a lot less for the other person to know immediately rather than to be constantly uncertain for months on end.


Not that I'm not sympathetic to the difficulty of delivering such a message, but it really is the only sure-fire way of getting the point across.

 

If it's a clear no, then that's all I need, and pushing any further is creepy. If there's been a few "I'm busy" or whatever, I'll pull back and leave the ball in their court.

 

Exactly. You've gotta get past my aspie tendency to take things at face value.

 

this is how everyone should treat this situation

 

1 clear refusal for me to back off, however if you read my thread in relationship section i sent a message to a crush and haven't had a proper reply as yet but the ball is in her court I won't bring it up again we still meet up but I still haven't had a yes or no

 

That would depend upon whom you ask.

1 should be the automatic answer, in most cases. But you'd be hard pressed to get that same answer from, say, Ted Bundy.

Personally, it depends. If it's personal space or their person, then yes, 1 time. But if it's, say, applying for a job, then that is a case by case answer. Persistence tells me that keeping at something yields results, when it comes to employment.

If we consider folks who 'play hard to get', I have this to say:

You play hard to get, you ain't gettin' got. LOL.

 

Depends.

 

For me: one if it's a clear "no"; two if it's iffy (possibly with clarification sought after the second, if it's still iffy).

 

It takes just one refusal for me to give up. I don't want to be "that person" who cannot take no for an answer. So if someone says no, I don't push it further.

 

Most guys I have ever spoken to don't understand 'no'.
It's creepy, and makes me always wonder if a guy I do like would be like that if I had said no to them originally. Sometimes you know who would understand a no and who wouldn't I feel like. That idea bothers me.