If a friend confided in you that they are cheating, would you tell their spouse?

I would but in a way that was anonymous or not really directly saying it... I have actually done this before. I don't say "so and so IS cheating on you" but more like "it's a good possibility that so in so is cheating on you".
- Most times I did so anonymously and the couples handled it on their own terms.

 

Depends.

If the cheater was my friend, then no, I don't owe their spouse anything, I own my friend. I am extremely loyal.

If their spouse was my friend, then yes I would tell them.

Pretty simple.

 

That's a tough question but mmm I don't think I would.

 

No, though it would definitely be more difficult if I was also friends with spouse. Either way, I'd probably try to encourage the "cheater" to stop those activities. I keep secrets for my friends, but I will also tell them what I think whether or not they want to hear it. Sometimes that's a good thing, other times, not so much :icon_redf.

 

It depends on my relationship with the spouse and also the circumstances. For example, are they separated but technically not allowed to see other people? Or is my friend having risky sex that could endanger the life of his spouse?

 

I would feel terrible for their spouse but it's not my place.

 

I'd encourage my friend to stop cheating and also to let their spouse know. Depending on the circumstances it may not actually result in a break up. If they didn't want to tell them, I'd let them know they have a certain amount of time to tell them before I let them know myself.

I don't know if I've actually been physically cheated on but I did catch my ex using dating sites, apps and contacting girls from personal ads that didn't reply to him. Feels awful and I'm not gonna let other people have a cheating spouse and be oblivious to it. Might not be the "right" thing to do by my friend, but I wouldn't even care if I lost a friend over that. I would communicate with my friend the whole way through though and talk to them about it all. I wouldn't go behind their back and tell their spouse, but I'm not gonna let somebody get away with cheating and wasting somebodys time if I can do something about it.

 

I would voice my disgust with what the friend is doing and it would absolutely cause me to question their character.

However, it would take a lot for me to insert myself into someone else's life or affairs. Regardless of whether it is my business or not, I don't have time. I am always willing to lend an ear to those who need it, but I am not dealing with drama that I do not need to take on. Friends, family, strangers, etc. It doesn't matter.

 

It would depend on a lot of things.

- My relationship with my friend vs. their spouse.
- If I had any evidence to my friend cheating or not.
- The relationship between my friend and their spouse. (Is it healthy? Are they happy? Do they have a more lack relationship?)

Regardless I'd be firm on my belief that they shouldn't cheat, or should confront their spouse themselves. I'd also suggest that they go speak to someone about their cheating and/or relationship.

 

I probably would but I wouldn't tell them directly. I feel as if that's something they should know and even if I don't tell 'em, the relationship is just gonna end up with someone's heart being broken.

 

I would do whatever the friend asked me to do in regard to that scenario.

 

What if you are good friends with both?

If no one's life is in danger, honestly I think I would stay out of it since it is not my place to say it. My belief is that the truth prevails 99% of the time.

 

I am assuming that we are not talking about an open relationship ? No, it wouldn't be my place to. But I would make it clear that they had put me in a difficult position, and encourage them to think about the consequences if their partner finds out ( although they wouldn't from me).

Interestingly I have been in exactly this position for nearly three years since my married elder brother came out to me.

 

No good comes of getting involved in another persons relationship. In this scenario, it's more likely that you will be seen as an interfering troublemaker and it will almost certainly cost you your friendship. It could even provoke a very hostile or aggressive response. You always need to consider the consequences of your actions and in these circumstances it's hard to predict what will happen, besides a whole lot of chaos and trouble. Do you really want to instigate all of that?

By all means, express disapproval and invite them to really think about what they are doing, but don't involve yourself.

 

Depends.

 

I've actually been in the situation where one of my friends was cheating on his gf with a girl from work and I would ride with him and his gf/ him and his side chick is was a very unique experience but no I didn't tell and his gf found out on her own so it all worked out I guess

 

First I would try to convince my friend tell them, but if they had no intention of coming clean, I would tell their spouse, yes. I don't really mind losing friends, especially when morals come into play. Their spouse deserves better.

 

I would worry about loosing a friend

 

Interesting question. I said no, then thought some more and wondered if I should have said yes...then thought some more.

I would not tell on someone I considered a friend. But if they persistently refused to resolve the issue themselves (meaning stop cheating and talk to their spouse/partner about it), that could seriously jeopardize the friendship. And once I could no longer considered them a friend, yeah, I certainly would tell.

Initially I would talk to them and try to figure out what's going on...try to help them to realize exactly what they're up to, the danger to which they are exposing their spouse, the disrespect they are paying to their spouse, etc. I get that people screw up, and that situations get out of control. I would support my friend in their struggles, help them figure out *how* to talk to their spouse, etc. Be there for them while they work it out. But if they can't see that it needs to be addressed, or won't move toward addressing it, yeah, that'll harm a friendship.

But I disagree with this "none of my business" business. If you found out a neighbor was abusing his children, is that none of your business? If you found out a guy down the street was pushing drugs, or trafficking slaves, or whatever, is that none of your business? I agree with Jacob Marley that all of mankind is our business. And I don't see that a friend's spouse being unknowingly exposed to the possibility of STDs is any less my business.