Yeah yeah I know some people will say - I got a magic wand for ya right here *points at crotch * so now past the lewd jokes : Can I please just wake up ok tomorrow ? can you please wave that wand and make me happy ? or just tolerating life ? Can you stop the walls from closing in on me, and let me breathe ? please ... Please just give me amnesia or a new brain or a new life or a new friend or take me back in time. Please have mercy, and if you don't have any wand, just shoot me in the face, I forgive you. This sucks :***:
I used to sometimes get into this negative thought pattern too, and it's hard to escape, but sometimes you just have to accept things the way they are. As much as we'd sometimes like to go back in time, rather than looking at this negatively like "I wish I could have done this differently", you should look at it as "this is what made me who I am today". And even if you aren't a fan of yourself, you still need to accept that you can't change the past, but you do have the opportunity to head in a different direction for the future. I was getting to that "not being able to breathe/high adrenaline/stress" state before joining EC. Physically I was fine, but mentally, getting worse. Reading about others' experiences on EC has really helped me with this and I feel a lot more comfortable mentally about my situation now. Part of my issue is likely that I overthink things to death, aka: paralysis by analysis. No, I'm not out to anyone (except EC) yet, but I am a lot more comfortable mentally than the hiding/not talking about it before. Just talking, or typing in my case, about your situation can be therapeutic to say the least. Hope this helps a little and hang in there. (*hug*)
