My past success with girls has been nothing close to success, however i'm wondering if getting a boyfriend would be easier. Don't get me wrong, i don't just want a boyfriend for the convenience, it's just that, i figure if two guys like the same things and each other, it would be much easier. Honestly i went to my LGBT building last month and saw someone i thought i would like, but me being me, i was too shy to talk to him, and now i feel like Jackass No. 1. I'm wondering if anyone else could just talk about this, I guess. I don't even know what i want out of this post
Yeah I wonder that nowadays, I've never been in a relationship with a guy, but I feel it might be less complicated. I'm with you on that one!
From what I understand, having a significant other isn't about liking the same things. Ease and simplicity in a relationship is more caused by compatibility, and it's quite possible that you just haven't met anyone of the female variety who you're congruent with.
Gay men are as varied as the human race in general. You will find gay men who are bullies. You will find gay men who try to ply you with gifts without ever demonstrating actual empathy, trying to "be a big wheel" but never really earning your affection. You will find gay men who are wonderful, laid-back, decent individuals who can't keep a clean house to save their lives, and if you are a certain personality type, it will cause you to go berserk. There are young gay guys, from rural backgrounds, who suddenly get out into the world, and the cute and innocent teenager you started with finds out about the joys of being a tattooed, drugged-up slut, and next thing you know, you just got back from the hospital, and you realize he has lost all connection he ever had with you because he's been experiencing the world without really having you as a part of that experience. You realize, a little too late, that perhaps what you should have done was walk this guy through having his first real experiences, and let him decide, only after he had really fledged, if he thought you were worth a deeper investment. This isn't necessarily youth, but some people have never had a chance to try to find themselves, whether they are 18 or 81. When a guy like that really starts to come out, be careful, or you might find yourself in his path and getting hurt, even though it's not really because he intended to be vicious or malevolent toward you. Sometimes, you find a guy who is simply honorable, and that guy is cultured, intelligent and funny. He is patient with your relative inexperience, and he helps you grow. However, in spite of his good looks, intelligence and decency, he always acts like he is trying to win your acceptance, and maybe that gets you a little scared. You find yourself striving to be this wonderful person he thinks you are, and slowly, you realize that you really are changing. It's not a perfect change, but you slowly start to see, in yourself, just a little bit of what this good man sees in you, and you know, every minute that you live, that those things are there because he believed in you. How about you try just being that last guy? Give it a try. It just means being a good man, trying to enrich yourself, and seeing the good that can be brought out in others. A good boyfriend can be easier for the same reason that a good girlfriend can be easier, but remember, even with a good person, you can make mistakes. That person can make mistakes. Things don't always work out. I hope they do for you, but shit does happen to better deserving people. We're here for you, though.
Have we met before? LOL Anyway I'll second what Christian was trying to say. It doesn't matter what gender the person is. A relationship is about finding someone who you are (mostly) compatible with and then actually working on accepting or compromising on the incompatible parts. Everyone thinks that there is the perfect someone out there for them and there just aren't two people who are perfectly compatible. Relationships take work and communication. It isn't any easier with men than women nor is it harder. However I do find that there seems to be a different dynamic (though I can't really explain it) when I'm in a same sex relationship.
Having a boyfriend that you both share in things you like together ( maybe walks camping fishing ect .) connection is vital for a sure relationship Hope this helps Love yourself and others will love you back
For me the switch was sort of a mixed bag, at least initially. At the beginning dating guys was much more difficult for me than dating women had been. I had always been really successful with women. I was actually kind of a ladies man in college. And compared to that dating guys seemed so emotional and fraught. But I realized that the reason for that was because I was finally actually emotionally invested in my dating life. I did great with women because it was all about them. I never sat by the phone thinking I'll just die if she doesn't call me back and with guys it suddenly was like that. That was hard, but obviously really rewarding in the end. But I think you're talking more about the sort of like with like difference of guys dating guys. I have to say that in that respect I think dating guys is much easier. I know we don't like to talk about it here but as a statistical range men and women are different. In the end I think the odds are good that gay couples will be more similar to each other than straight couples. The fact of the matter is that almost every straight married person my age or younger that I know has expressed this about my relationship with my partner--basically that it must be nice to so often be on the same page. I have to say that it is. I know a straight couple who can sit on the couch all Saturday afternoon playing video games together and drinking beer, on the other hand I only know one--I know a ton of gay couples who can do that. I know a couple straight couples where the wife is almost as into sports as the guy--again I know a ton of gay couples like that. I don't know any straight couples who will go out and play pickup basketball together--I know gay couples like that. But it's not just traditional guy activities, in my experience most gay couples just think about things in more similar ways. In the end I think it just sort of comes down to the old Simpons joke. Marge: Homer I believe he prefers the company of other men Homer: Who doesn't? I guess in the end I just know more gay couples who are like best friends who happen to sleep with each other. I think it's a lot easier.
