Why ? why are they so fucking long ? yes yes it's summer time blah blah. but that's not what's happening here. I could actually FEEL time, like hot tar slowly oozing on my skin. I go to work, and at first i'm super pumped, and then things get quiet and I hear the clock ticking loudly, and it seems to tick slowly ... work day is over big whoop! I drive home and pass by some sleazy fast food place on my way to grab something to eat> I get home and gulp down the disgusting greasy stuff, then take a short nap. I wake up and the clock was just waiting for me. ok, time to go in the workshop to pass some time. work work work on my little gadget project, and when I'm fed up and start getting a headache, I look at the clock and bang. one hour passed tops. I look at the laptop and browse, then get bored. what should I do ? i'll just go to the store and get something cool to drink. the heat is heavy, like the minutes that pass. people are driving like drunks, and the traffic is dumb. next time i'll walk. I get back to the house,and it's 8pm. still at least 3 hours before I can sleep. and of course any second the electricity could cut, which means more heat and less distractions from that sluggishly moving time. 11 pm comes, and I look up one show or another to dose off while watching. I couldn't sleep, it's too hot, time passes, and it passes and passes, sometimes till 4 am. then 7 comes and i'm back on the same wheel. I've been trying to keep myself busy so that I don't think about HIM. I don't want to wallow, I just want to move on, but days are so long, and try as I may to keep busy with work or hobbies or in the end unconsciousness, I always end up idle and just feel sadness. My memories are fake, he never loved me, and was a complete asshole, so why can't i just get the fuck over it? and why is time conspiring ? it's like that Ray Charles song : "They say that time heals a broken heart. But time has stood still since we've been apart" .... Goddamn it
(*hug*) seems like you're dealing with some rough relations (or the possible end of one) If you need someone to vent to or speak to, then I'm here. I hope you feel better
Thanks tally... I'm really trying to cope but things sometimes get to me and i start climbing the walls...
I understand your pain. Completely. I usually feel this way when I'm done with a series and end up having nothing to do or watch. Days are longer, and the clock almost seems like it's teasing you Just know, Truffles, that salad is here for you and I trust that you will eventually forget about 'him'. Just distract yourself with something. Watch a new series, eat a new dish, or bake pie. For me. But really, anything works. (*hug*)
Thanks Salad (*hug*) I've really been doing all that, i've actually become very good at making Quiche ( does that count as sort of a pie ? ) i'm re-watching Fullmetal Alchemist, and just busting my ass at work....
