It started when I developed feelings for one of my closest friends. I can't help it he's just so hot and kind and smart. Whenever wed get drunk id always hit on him . At first I guess he thought I was joking but I've taken the jokes to far and he s uncomfortable. I hate myself for making him uncomfortable. I hate myself for loving him. I hate myself for liking guys in general. I don't want to be like this. I just want To be a normal kid not just some pathetic loser who hits on his closest friends. I'm so hurt and depressed right now. And I can't talk to anybody about it cause I'm in the closet. Because I have to hide who I am so the world doesn't hate me. So I'm trapped and angry and depressed. Im honestly afraid that I might be bipolar. I'm either really happy or depressed. And I'm sick of it. And honestly how can I expect other people to like me for who I really am if I don't even like myself. Somebody please help me.please I don't want to feel like this anymore. How can I fix the situation with my friend I'm really sorry for making him uncomfortable I just want to be his friend again
Just because he's uncomfortable doesn't mean he's not friends with you anymore. I'm assuming he doesn't know you're gay? If not it might be time to tell him and apologize for making him feel uncomfortable, it's not going to be easy but if you really care for this guy as a friend you need to leave it at that and not hit on him
