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Opinions/suggestions plz?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Simple Thoughts, Jul 24, 2015.

  1. Simple Thoughts

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    I was working on some songs for my lyric project and I wanna know what you guys think :slight_smile:

    The Wolf

    ( Verse )
    *You've been living on the wild side (8)
    Bare your fangs to those you scorn (7)
    *How does the beast hold back its pride? (8)


    *With a flash of those white fangs (7)
    the predator draws in the prey (8)
    *So many pretty little bangs, (7)


    (Bridge)
    You roam the land that you own ( 7 )
    the world is your domain (6)
    and these rabbits inahbit your morose terrain (12)
    you won't remember a single name ( 9 )
    When they flee your low Plane (6)
    (Chorus)

    Drink! Drink! Drink! (3 )
    Drown in whiskey, choke on grass (7)
    *You're on the prowl, so grab that ass (8)
    *This world is yours for the taking (8)

    So howl (background: Arooooo! ) up at the moon (7)
    Could it be too soon (5)
    for you to find a new meaning (8)

    (Verse 2 )

    You're burrowed in another bar (8)
    Those cold eyes always narrowed (7)
    Do you even know what you are? (8)

    Once again you've found your mark (7)
    He's such a pretty little thing (8)
    Just fake the hint of a spark (7)

    ( bridge )
    You roam the land that you own ( 7 )
    the world is your domain (6)
    and these rabbits inahbit your morose terrain (12)
    you won't remember a single name ( 9 )
    When they flee your low Plane (6)
    (Chorus )

    Drink! Drink! Drink!
    Drown in whiskey, choke on grass
    you're on the prowl, so grab that ass
    This world is yours for the taking

    So howl (background: Arooooo! ) up at the moon
    Could it be too soon
    for you to find a new meaning
    (Breakdown )

    Where does the lone wolf turn,
    when his vision begins to blur?

    Where does the lone wolf turn,
    when his emotions begin to stir?

    You've burned all of your bridges
    Burned them to the ground
    and there is no one left
    no one left around

    so...

    (Chorus )


    Drink! Drink! Drink!
    Drown in whiskey, choke on grass
    Your on the hunt, so slap that ass
    This life is yours to demand


    So howl (background: Arooooo! ) up at the moon
    Could it be too soon
    for you to find a new meaning

    Howl up at the moon
    Could it be too soon
    For you

    How could it be too soon
    for you

    ( As the music starts to fade off )

    You are the wolf




    annnnnnd


    Predator, Meet Prey

    Verse 1

    Not surprised to see you here
    looking for another fix
    Could it be the wolf has a fear,
    of giving up his tricks?

    Tip back the glass and take a shot
    We all know why you've come
    A one track mind is all you got
    Can you even taste the rum?

    Bridge

    As the door swings open
    Your heart starts floatin
    Those hips have a motion
    and you have the notion
    that downing this potion
    would start a new devotion
    or maybe that's just what your hopin


    Chorus

    The eyes of the hellhound
    Are basking in the light of an angel
    Nobdody make a sound
    as the devil comes to the table

    How does shadow meet light
    Can you tame such a beauty
    Why does it feel so right
    to be so close to this cutey?

    Verse 2

    Watch the way his eyes glow
    as he looks right at you
    Bet you already know
    Just what he's been through

    Speak right to his heart
    but keep your own locked tight
    conversation is your art
    yeah, he'll never notice the bite

    Bridge

    As his heart swings open
    his eyes start glowin
    Just keep him hopin'
    Make feelings buried, woken
    Prey on his feeble emotion

    Chorus

    The eyes of the hellhound
    basking in the light of an angel
    Nobdody make a sound
    as the devil comes to the table

    How does shadow meet light
    Can you tame such a beauty
    Why does it feel so right
    to be so close to this cutey?


    Breakdown

    It must be your lucky day
    This kid ain't nothing but a stray
    For the price of a home cooked meal
    You're making quite the steal

    Chorus

    The eyes of the hellhound
    basking in the light of an angel
    Nobdody make a sound
    as the devil comes to the table

    How does shadow meet light
    Can you tame such a beauty
    Why does it feel so right
    to be so close to this cutey?
     
  2. Putterpuff

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    Nice job. Wish i could hear the tune. Im in CBus too buddy!
     
  3. Simple Thoughts

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    *You are the wolf who drowns in sheep's clothing.


    ( not sure what happened to the rest of that line =/ )

    ---------- Post added 25th Jul 2015 at 01:06 AM ----------

    Thank you ^^

    and that's cool. I'm actually a few hours drive from Cbus though I just use that because it's the closest/most likely to be known area around here ^^
     
  4. QueerTransEnby

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    It's good. You're talented.
     
  5. Simple Thoughts

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    Thank you, but I had an IRL friend help me ( to the point of being a co-writer ) for "The Wolf."