Alright, going to keep this short and sweet. Anyway, my boyfriend, me, and his mom rent out a house in a pretty close-knit and quiet neighborhood. Close to some of the neighbors, etc. We had this one guy, who we'll call Mark, who was staying with our next-door neighbor. Mark seemed like a pretty nice guy. He'd come over to our place once and a while for coffee and we actually did like having the guy around for the most part. As far as I know, Mark wasn't paying rent with the next-door neighbor but for whatever reason, next-door neighbor was letting him hang around. Next-door neighbor, however, couldn't keep Mark around. So he told Mark he needed to split. Mark has family in the area. For whatever reason, he claimed his family didn't want anything to do with him. My boyfriend's mom felt sorry for the guy and told Mark he could stay for 30-days "and longer if you're able to find a job and start helping out with the rent". So Mark started staying with us. And boy did we all regret it. Mark would sit either on the couch or at the dining room table literally all day, messing with his phone and watching pirated movies. He wouldn't interact with anyone. For a while, he'd even spend all day watching HBO on our TV literally 24/7. He drank all our soda, literally didn't drink a sip of juice or water. He also wanted us to feed him. Meanwhile, we tried to help him with the job situation. Boyfriend's mom offered to help pay for his California ID but he refused (making me suspect he's hiding something). He kept claiming he was going to "call a guy" offering him under the table work but no such calls were made. After the 30 days were up, he still wouldn't leave. So we came up with some story about how a relative was coming down to stay for a couple months. That's finally what got him to pack up and head out. Mark, I'll mention again, has a mother and a few siblings in town. He also supposedly has a few friends. But for whatever reason, none of them wanted anything to do with him. At first we felt really bad for him (wow, your family's an asshole!). But I mean, that's a lot of people that don't trust you. Add in the fact that he's afraid to get an ID and something's definitely up. He started hanging out with homeless people at the liquor store up the street. This is where he hung out for most of the following days and weeks, despite having family in the area, places to go, and the ability to getting an under-the-table income doing construction or landscaping. A week or two later he asked to stay over again. My boyfriend's mom let him stay for a couple days. Thankfully, he left. A month ago, he shows up yet again. This time, same thing. A few days and that's it. However, he ended up staying here for about 30 days and the same thing happened. Sat on the couch or at the table all day. In the 30 days he stayed here, he only showered about once or twice. It'd be one thing if he was trying to improve his situation. But he wasn't. After a month, we finally told him it wasn't working out. And I thought that was the last of him. Until this morning. Boyfriend's mom knocks on our door and brings us the cheery news that Mark had shown up on the front porch and asked to "stay for a bit". He slept on the floor for an hour until we finally told him we had plans and he had to go because the house would be empty (not entirely a lie- boyfriend's mom was going out of town for the day and boyfriend and I have to run errands). But I know this guy's going to come around again. And he's going to stay here again, beg for a spot on the floor. We have to rent out the spare bedroom so we can't have this guy hanging around when we've got a roommate. And we really can't afford to feed him when he won't even try to get a job or improve his own situation. It feels like he's taking advantage of anyone he can. How do I make sure this guy will never, ever come around again?
What I would do is not let him crash, tell him to stay away and if he doesn't, call the cops. Might be a bit harsh but an almost stranger mooching off of you for months? Seems real fishy to me too
is it your boyfriend mums house? if so she needs to let mark know he needs to find someplace else to stay as she cant afford to feed him exc .Mark obviously sees her as a soft touch .
I'll get a body bag. I-I mean... tell him to stay away. He sounds shady, and it may not be long before something intense happens. Or, just file a restraining order/call the cops/ dress up as ghosts and scare him away.
No, harsh is totally okay. Do I have much ground with cops though? Well, yes and no. She rents the house but she's the primary renter (I'm a sub-letter, I guess?) She can be a huge softie with people she feels bad for. But I'm hoping she finally gets it after all this. ---------- Post added 25th Jul 2015 at 02:31 PM ---------- Maybe not ghosts but maybe I'll pretend to be an Illuminati guy because he's an uber paranoid conspiracy theorist to boot. No threats so don't know about restraining order. But we are concerned about him being around so close and keeping such close tabs on us. We've got valuables. Thankfully, you need keys to get in any room in the house and we've got neighbors looking out. But that's about it. Hell, I'm considering taking my Mac Book with me whenever I leave at this point.
Talk to your boyfriend's mother, and tell her the situation. If she won't listen, you tell Mark that this (whatever) has to be done by this (whenever) time frame or he is gone. Stick to it. If you budge, he won't take you seriously. You may have to be firm the first time, but stick to it. For example, tell him that week one he needs to clean the house or do the dishes. If he doesn't do it, tell him to do them, and if it still doesn't happen, kick him out. Week two he needs to be filling out job applications, and if he doesn't, kick him out. And so on and so forth. Start charging him a fee to drink and eat, even if it is a quarter a soda or a two dollars a meal, just something to show him, hey, this isn't a crash pad. You could try and make it so unbearable he cracks and leaves, but that is your call on how far to take it. Finally, get a hold of this guy's relatives. Talk to them, see what is going on, and go from there. Whether or not this fellow is hiding something is his problem. Every time you let him crash, and do nothing about his lack of ambition, it reinforces the idea that your place is his last resort. You have to shatter that freeloading illusion. If all else fails, pay me $50 (and traveling expenses). I guaran-damn-tee he won't ever come back. I'm quite good at "persuading" people. LOL. ^.~
^ Actually, funny you mention that. Helping out around the house was part of the terms and conditions we laid out for him too. The whole idea was "hey, we're feeding you and giving you a place to hang. Could you be like anyone living here and do your part?" To his credit, he kept up on this for a week. Then afterwards, nada. One memorable incident involved me making dinner. Boyfriend had to work on something. Cue me cleaning all the dishes. Mark sat there and literally watched me clean the entire time without even offering once. But I'm laying the hammer down. We're all tired of this jerk. I don't even feel guilty anymore.
The mooching aside, it's the other things you mentioned that makes me think that he may be into something shady... It's a hard call to make. Do you know if this Mark is superstitious? I was thinking that maybe you and co. could pretend to take up witchcraft and scare him away. I know it sounds crazy, but it may just work.
So do you mean get rid of him, or do you mean get rid of him? *cracks knuckles and swings a large machete around* Yeah... Tell him to find somebody else to crash with, then get a restraining order, or just get restraining order so he's forced to move out. Or you could just 'accidently' let him sneak a peak of your BDSM sex dungeon. I know you have one Remeber, freindly neighbourhood mafia home insurance. We'll take care of things.
You do have legal ground to kick the guy out. If the guy isn't signed under any documentation if leasing and since he obviously isn't the home owner you are allowed to call the cops on him. To be honest if it is really bothering you all you have to do is call the cops.
