I Need to Know How to Talk to People

I have a similar problem except I can't do public speaking either. Plus I seem to be more confident around girls than boys. (Used to be the complete opposite when I was younger.)

Hopefully someome has some good advice, cause honestly this is something have none for :<

 

I'm like that, but am finally getting better at talking to people because of havig a voluntary role that literally involves me greeting everyone I see and asking if I can help.
Having to socialise with strangers for a job definitely helps, though I'm still a long way from being able to go up to strangers at social events and parties and such and chatting to them without provocation.

 

I feel exactly the same way. Im more comfortable around boys than girls, and I don't like public speaking. It really sucks, I want to overcome my social anxiety.

 

Well I can't give any advice but I feel you. I'm like that too, except I have social anxiety and I can't do anything along those lines.

 

You need to just start talking to people and learn as you go. Well, thats the way I see it. But don't get me wrong, I'm a total loner and missed out on some really interesting stuff last night because I'm shy and worried about looking stupid.

 

I've the same problem.. I can't talk to people my age. I for some reason get along with older people and kids from ages 8-9 and 40-50's. I mean can i talk to teens.. it's just I always feel like a parent or I'm lecturing them or something... it's weird.

And also I find it interesting, the topic of: being am introvert with a outgoinw personality. I'm ambivert, I can talk to people and smile, but then I just wanna be left alone an if you come near me I will punch you in the throat... that was a joke lolz.

But I do believe we give certain aspects of our personality to different people who we hang around with. I can be reserved with my family because they are microaggressive, around friends who I'm very close with, I'm a bit more silly and they still make me seem like the normal one XD, although they are teens, it doesn't feel like it. Ya know? With teachers I definitely feeel we're on the same plane field.. I've always felt that way.

My advice for you is, to not worry about it and let it happen naturally. It did for me.. but not everyone is the same, try your hardest and I wish you luck(!)(!)(!)

 

I always feel like I'm bothering people if I initiate conversation with them, I've always had the most trouble with everyone my age, my friendship groups are usually older everyone. I can't really help you with this as I still have trouble. I also love getting up on stage and singing and making speeches. But when it's one on one and I have to initiate the conversation, I'm super awkward, but if the other person initiates I feel like they are interested in hearing what I have to say, so Mr talkative and overly flamboyant takes over every time.

 

I can talk to just about anyone as long as they can hold a conversation. Whether I want to or not is a different matter (chit chat about the weather is just... no.) I usually got along best with those who were "bad" at conversation because they were shy or whatnot. I'm pretty quiet and reserved myself except around quiet/shy/awkward people. The people I can't hold conversations with are those guys who can only talk about girls and sports or people who are way too full of themselves to notice what is going on around them.

 

Hate to break it to you, but being *anxious* about being in social situations with strangers (like talking to them) IS social anxiety. Feeling comfortable talking to people you know does not mean you don't have social anxiety.

I have it too though. I think a huge part of it came about from hiding my identity for so long. I was really outgoing in elementary school, but when girls and boys started getting different from each other in middle school I hid that I identified with the boys so I wouldn't get picked on by the girls, and I completely lost out on a normal socialization growing up.

I also like public speaking though, and I think the reason for that is that it has a "structure" to it. I learned how to be successful at it at an age where all of my peers were equally bad at it, so I jumped at the opportunity to learn a proper way of speaking. I kinda wish normal socialization classes were available for people like me. I think that would help.

I've been trying to break out more and go to social events. I'm forcing myself to try to speak, hoping I'll learn as I go and it will get more comfortable the more I do it.

 

to speak with those you trust and feel safe with, and to avoid those you dont, is the path of an introvert

Seriously, 80% of people you talk to will smalltalk and bullshit you with a subject they don't really care about. maybe 10-15% will just be rude. The trick is to find someone who has a common interest or 2 with you, and has something worth listening to say. Talking with them should come naturally~

The more practice you get in a real conversation the easier it is to talk to random people too =D

 

Oh, Madam, you are perfectly fine and normal the way you are. Don't feel like you need to change for other people

 

You need a formal diagnosis for social anxiety disorder. Most people experience at least a little social anxiety at some point in their life, but when it gets so bad that it makes you frequently avoid social interaction or it prevents a healthy social life, then it becomes a disorder. Small amounts of any kind of anxiety generally don't need any medical intervention. Medication and/or therapy are usually only necessary for people with moderate to severe anxiety, or frequent low levels of anxiety that inhibit healthy behavior.

I completely agree with how you described it with public speaking. It's that outline, knowing what I'm supposed to say next, that really helps. I seem to have the opposite problem in casual conversations though; I don't use enough slang. I grew up in a family that always used "big" words, so when I speak I unintentionally come off as an "elitist"... which is really not how I'm trying to sound. Most people write it off as being weird, but some people really take offense. As a result, I try not to talk when I'm around anyone who isn't a close friend.