unconditional love

To me, unconditional love is that overwhelming overpowering affection for another person. You love them with question. I believe this kind of love only exists from a parent to a child (not the other way around either). Parents love them no matter what. Even if they grow up to be a horrible person (murderer, rapist).

With any other love: romantic or friendship, there are always conditions.

 

Yes, it's called owning a dog.

 

The fact that there are serial killers and rapists out there who's parents will tooth and nail defend them even knowing what they've done tells me everything I need to know about whether unconditional love exists.

I think it's a choice that isn't a choice. When a child is born we have the choice to stay or run away from our responsibilities. If we run we keep our freedom, but in exchange we give up our chance to bond with our child and experience a type of love that's unbreakable.


Love between a parent/child is honestly the strongest love. Romantic love can weaken/fade over time, but there is no ammount of time that will tear apart the bond between a parent and child.

 

So I've heard. I think there are exceptions to the parent -> child rule, and unconditional love in many relationships, but in general, almost all parents unconditionally love their kids, and few people otherwise unconditionally love their... Er, loved ones.

 

As a Christian, I believe that God loves his children unconditionally and is therefore the epitome of a perfect love. Some may disagree with me, but I'll leave that there.

I think that human beings are capable of loving unconditionally, though it is rare. In my opinion, true love is by default unconditional.

I don't know that people so much "choose" to show love, but rather that their actions reflect their love. So in a way, it's both inherent and active.

At to whether it's healthy, I think that depends on what you define "healthy" as. Say you love someone so much that you would lay down your life in their place, then is it technically "healthy" for you to do so? Then again, does your unconditional love provide a sense of spiritual health and motivation that supersedes physical health, thereby making it the more important one?

Trying to explain what I think about love is making my head hurt.

 

Pretty much my thoughts. All human love is limited and affected by appearance, gender, personality, values, and other things. The best we can do is to be fair, honest, and benevolent to others.

I don't believe parents necessarily love unconditionally as parents have abandoned children to fend for themselves on occasion, among many other things I don't think can exist in love.

 

Yeah

 

In Immanuel Kant's philosophy there's no such thing as unconditional love. Kant believed that Love is merely a desire to be fulfilled, just like our appetite. We feel satisfies when our desires are fulfilled, so being in a relationship is simply a means to gain satisfaction, rather than an obligation.

 

Yes, I do think that it can only exist between a parent and child, in particular the mother, unless something sad happens early on to prevent that bond forming, or she has preexisting problems.

I will always love my daughter more than anything else but I don't think I'll ever understand completely the bond my wife has... How can I, I never felt her grow inside me, I didn't give birth to her, I didn't feed her from my own breast. never the less that love is unconditional. Sometimes you get it back and that feeling is indescribable to someone who doesn't have a child.... Sometines you don't, sometimes you are angry as heck with them but the key difference is that love can never turn to hate even for a second. I can't even say that is true for my wife. There have been short times when I detested her for one reason or another until I calmed down but never with my princess.Not even when she had collic and on a 2 hour cycle you have work the next day, and you are not going to get more than a few precious moments of sleep. You are exasperated beyond all measure, you shout at each other you might scream for the child to go sleep, but where it matters there is still that love

 

I find it amusing that folks are using a parent-child as the pinnacle of "perfect" love. If this is true, then I'll never have such a thing, as my parents and I simply tolerate each other. I cannot remember the last time my parents have said they love me.

Perhaps I need to reevaluate my life.

 

I dare say it exists, and yes parents to children, and also in some other cases.
I know because I have loved unconditionally, and I must say it goes hand in hand with pain, and it is a dangerous and destructive thing.

 

I think it is possible for it to exist from a parent to a child, although the near surety with which people assume this happens is more idealized than the reality. Certainly it is commonplace and the norm for a parent to love their child unconditionally, others have mentioned examples of the lengths they would go to to stand by their child. But exceptions where the parent does not love unconditionally are far from rare. It is assumed that such cases are unusual because it's only clear in extreme or obvious ones: such as a parent who abuses or neglects their child, or one who abandons their responsibilities and shows no interest in making any effort to have contact. Less obvious are the cases where a family unit appears to 'tick all the boxes' from the outside, but for those living within it are a different story. Some parents are simply incapable of or unwilling to form that sort of bond, even if they are present and willing to functionally act out the role because it serves their purposes to do so.

Another thing to remember is, loving someone and liking them do not necessarily go hand in hand. Some parents might not get along with their children, even to the point that they cannot tolerate being in the same room as them, but still love them. Conversely, there are examples of parents who will show approval, even favouritism, either in general or sporadically, yet this apparent love is very conditional on the child fulfilling a certain need of the parent's.



In terms of romantic relationships I think it can also exist, however whether or not this is healthy depends very much on the partners themselves and how they interact. A deeply devotional love in itself is by no means a bad thing; it's when it goes past the point of rationality that it becomes a problem. There are situations like abusive relationships where one partner takes advantage of the others devoted nature, knowing they will not draw the line. To a lesser extent there can be relationships that have double standards because if one partner loves unconditionally and thus makes allowances, this doesn't guarantee the other will too. Perhaps if both partners are of the mindset to love unconditionally and neither has malicious intent, this could make for a good strong bond. But having that balance between the two of them is key.

In truth I think the healthiest romantic relationships are those where the love for one another is actually 'unconditional' in the sense that, though they do have some basic unspoken rules, such as mutual love, respect, and not wishing to do intentional harm, they are the sort of 'conditions' which both parties wish to abide by instinctively anyway and thus the occasion for them to be regarded as conditions doesn't occur in the first place.

 

I don't.

That doesn't mean I share it, since I'll never become a father, but I've been lucky enough to see and experience that love. It can reach the top, when done right.

Now... 'Perfect'? That's another story. Same as with being capable of loving someone the right way, or even being capable of true love at all.

And I'm done with the explanations or the theories : Right now I'm only interested on the 'praxis'.

 

I really don't like the word love since it is so subjective and ambiguous.

Personally, I don't think I could love something unconditionally.

Could I love something? Most likely.
Could that love/trust be betrayed? Yes.

If that love/trust was betrayed:
Would I still care for the person? Yes.
Would I still love them? No.

My idea of love is basically mutual respect and yeah, you might get on each others' nerves, but you watch out for each other and keep each other in check. If you can truly trust someone, that means a lot more to me than "love".

 

I do believe unconditional love exists. But I've been told I'm a hopeless romantic so. But I do know that throughout the hardships my girlfriend and I have always loved each other to the degree of unconditionally and always will. Every chalenge only strengthens our bond, even me coming out as trans to her has strengthened our relationship in ways I couldn't of imagined.

 

No

 

Unconditional parental love? Absolutely. In fact, it is biological.

Unconditional romantic or platonic love? No.

Nor should unconditional love be romanticized. It is highly unhealthy.

 

I think it bears definite notice that this bond will not occur for everyone and I don't think it forms between child and parent.

Also that what this means isn't what many people might think. Eros etc is very different. one part is that it is entirely selfless, it doesn't necessarily mean it comes across happy joy joy, if there is an element of self in your love it is not unconditional. You will do what you genuinely think is the best for that child, even if that does not make you happy.even if in the short term it doesn't make them happy.

You actually in my opinion cannot judge your own parents fairly.

---------- Post added 2nd Aug 2015 at 02:47 AM ----------

Also, in fairness to people everywhere unconditional love doesn't actually need to last for ever, it's unconditional at a given time. I don't know precisely how common this is but I would say its more common than might be thought. Ta young child will have a different status to an adult. It may be subtle or it may be great. Personally I intent to try and keep such changes as small as possible.

 

I would make my mom so mad arguing about this. The way I see it, unconditional love doesn't really exist in a healthy way. In an effort to disprove that what my mom felt for me was unconditional love, because I'm a gigantic turd, I would ask her if she would still love me if I murdered my brother. If the answer is "no", then I have found a condition for her love, so it's clearly not unconditional. If she said "yes", then I don't think that's real love. If I can be a horrible person and still have her "love" me, then she doesn't really love who I am. She just loves me because I'm her daughter and that's what she'd supposed to do.