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I hate this

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Justinian20, Aug 10, 2015.

  1. Justinian20

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    The one reason why I feel I can't express my feminity is my parents, for example: Today I went to watch Magic Mike XXL in the cinemas and when I told my parents what I watched, the reaction was so stupid, my mom said, "It's a girls movie, only girls watch it." My dad pretty much laughed and once again it was complete utter nonsense coming from them.

    I hate this, it's just so stupid that they think these things. Nail polish would be the same and dyeing my hair would be the same as well. You know what as well, they contradict themselves, I do things females and girls do more than I do things guys do. So why doesn't she say, "stop singing it's a girl thing to do, stop doing drama it's a girl thing as well, stop being fashionable it's a girl thing." It pisses me off that my family is so stupid.

    I want to express my true self and they want me to repress my feminine side. They also still haven't accepted I like boys (male stripper movie(so flippin obvious)). It's pretty much them trying desperately to keep me from being happy. Well you ain't stopping me family, I am going to watch hunky muscular men strip for a cute boy like me.
     
  2. C P

    C P
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    That's because, as much as people like to try to get you to believe otherwise, not all families are going to be the 'back to unconditional support, love, etc. after given time'(if they weren't before) kind. To many of us, they are just as toxic as a lot of the other crap that we have to go through in our lives, sometimes to the point where we question why we even bother with them at all.

    How was the new Magic Mike though? I've wanted to see it but haven't; you are way bolder than me there, haha. :v
     
  3. biAnnika

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    Y'know, I get where you say this and where it looks and feels like this. But I am quite certain that's not what's going on. My money is on them trying (very ignorantly, very inexpertly, and as you say, very in denial) to keep you safe and help you to grow up the way they feel every healthy and truly happy child must grow up.

    They sound deeply flawed...with you 100% on that. But ignorance is neither malevolence nor lack of love (although it can certainly look and feel like it at times).

    The important thing is that if you can understand this about them...really understand it...then your chances of coping with them as long as you have to go *way* up. You can reasonably ask "why shouldn't I be able to ask that they understand me??" The only answer I have for you is that you are (hopefully) capable of understanding them, whereas they currently lack the capacity for understanding you...so although it is unfair, you need to be the strong one here, and either educate them (if that's possible) to bring them along with you, or accommodate their flaws and work with them.

    I know we're used to thinking of our parents are these paragons of humanity, who know better even if they don't always act better. But that simply isn't true for many people...parents have flaws and limitations and biases and stupid misconceptions, just like everyone else.

    Again, you're not wrong to hate their behavior. But it is wrong to assume that they do it with the intent of making you miserable. They care about you, and want to be sure you're ok...they just have an ignorant and limited idea of what that means...and may or may not be open to learning otherwise, even if you have it within you to be able to educate them in a way they can grasp. But if you can accept that they do what they do out of their own notions of what it means to love their child, it can make the BS easier to tolerate for as long as you have to tolerate it...and that is far from forever.

    Good luck and be well!