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Have you ever had people flirting with you online based on wrong assumptions?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by lemons123, Aug 13, 2015.

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  1. lemons123

    lemons123
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    Here's what I mean:

    A good example will be straight guys messaging bisexual girls/lesbian women since in their logic "all women want pen*s". Or men who think Russian women want American men etc.

    Recently I had one such funny experience, this British woman (who is twice my age - I am 26, she is 50) was messaging me for months in another forum and I thought she's just friendly but recently started sending me messages about BDSM sex, gynecologists and thinks like that so I kind of avoid her. I could be paranoid about the assumptions but based on number of messages I think she had conjectured a couple of things erroneously: that "I am from eastern Europe and hence I must be living in England OR dream of going there", or that because of that I am conservative...or that I have high sex drive and can't be virgin etc.

    Anyone? :slight_smile:
     
    #1 lemons123, Aug 13, 2015
  2. Berru

    Berru
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    I used to be signed up at an lgbt dating site, and lots of men kept messaging me that I should try them even if they were not my preferred gender because they "deserved a shot" or that I might be surprised, OR that they were the special, perfect ones I just HAD to fall for because they were oh-so-great.

    Like you said, not all girls like the D, and it frustrates me to no end that some men's egoes are big enough to make them think they're the exeption to the rule.
     
    #2 Berru, Aug 13, 2015
  3. CodeForLife

    CodeForLife
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    I think this is a tricky subject. You don't always want to divulge all of your information online, but by not giving out the info, people will fill it in for themselves given what little info they do have. This can absolutely lead to misinterpretation. :confused:

    It is really easy to interpret someone's kindness/curiosity online as being "into" you. In general, some people will be more aggressive than others in following up on their thoughts toward someone else.

    Specific to you, lemons123, it is pretty hard to draw any conclusions based on your photo, but I think both women and men would find you pretty attractive. Given that the person brought up subjects/assumptions that you had nothing to do with, this obviously says more about the other person's thoughts/background than you.

    I personally will probably be more friendly/inviting to people that I can relate to online, but otherwise, I try not to assume too much about people, since there's no way to really know the truth unless you see/talk with them in real life. :slight_smile:
     
    #3 CodeForLife, Aug 13, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2015
  4. Blue787Bunny

    Blue787Bunny
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    Yeah, I've had white guys, older guys hit on me thinking I was some guy from the third world looking for a sugar daddy or a ticket to a green card. And I'm like b*tch please my allowance is probably bigger than what you make. :dry:
     
    #4 Blue787Bunny, Aug 13, 2015
  5. lemons123

    lemons123
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    @CodeforLife, hmm thanks it's an old photo though :slight_smile:.

    And yeah, just chatting is OK. I am chatting with lots of people online from 3/4 sites including this one but I can see how there's nothing special involved...just exchange of opinions from both sites. But questions like "what is your favorite position?" (especially when the person asking claims is married), OR worse: asking about sex-toys 0_0 (basically I am not sure I am allowed to share such 'spicy' info on here since this forum I am sure is visited by <18 guys/girls so I'd skip it...).

    I don't care that much about this case though, just one online contact...it was in the bigger context of how people tend to have biases based on very limited info.

    There was a very interesting page in Wikipedia about "list of human biases", showing patterns of such behaviour.
     
    #5 lemons123, Aug 13, 2015
  6. Blue787Bunny

    Blue787Bunny
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    What I forgot to mention here is that I am Asian, typical brown skin etc. The assumption being the stereotypical Older White Guy - Young Asian, relationship were the Asian is assumed to be after money or a green card.
     
    #6 Blue787Bunny, Aug 13, 2015
  7. Weregild

    Weregild
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    Yes, in 2011 I think
     
    #7 Weregild, Aug 13, 2015
  8. kyoujin

    kyoujin
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    I'm curious as to why it is wrong to message bisexual girls. They are bisexual, which means they like men as well.


    Anyways, since I am a small, slim and androgynous male, people assume I like masculine men, when in fact I am only attracted to femininity/feminine-leaning androgyny. I have had masculine men flirt with me. Of course, they were politely rejected.
    For some reason, many societies can't imagine two "feminine" men together.
    Although I'm not the only one, I have seen another couple where both were pretty, androgynous males.
     
    #8 kyoujin, Aug 13, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2015
  9. sunshinebi

    sunshinebi
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    God yes *rolls eyes in annoyance*
     
    #9 sunshinebi, Aug 13, 2015
  10. Kaiser

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    My e-game is fierce.
    Some folks have even gotten jealous about gaining my attention...    ​
     
    #10 Kaiser, Aug 13, 2015
  11. biAnnika

    biAnnika
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    Yup, many times. No cute stories. It's more annoying than anything.

    Flirt with me for the *right* reasons, damn it! *wink*
     
    #11 biAnnika, Aug 13, 2015
  12. kageshiro

    kageshiro Guest

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    Thats why I just flirt with everyone it'll work eventually
     
    #12 kageshiro, Aug 13, 2015
  13. Bolt35

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    hell yea, which is why i stayed away from the dating sites. i get them all the time, and i hate it when people DO NOT READ THE BIOS! makes life a bit easier. i had guys approach me with all different kinds of kinks, even bdsm and lingerie. i even had a guy who thought i was selling drugs just because i was a latino guy.
     
    #13 Bolt35, Aug 13, 2015
  14. Tzoa

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    Yes, but the assumption wasn't about my sexual orientation. When I was 13, a 26 year old man flirted with me online. I didn't know he was flirting until he outright said he was, and that's when I asked for his age. He thought I was much older. I thought he was in his mid to late teens, but I only wanted to talk to him about books, anyway. The whole thing was very creepy and we never spoke again.
     
    #14 Tzoa, Aug 13, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2015
  15. Midori

    Midori
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    About last year near October, one of my friends thought I was 15.. Turns out he liked me and flirted with me - which I had no idea that he was- but then I told him I'm not interested. :slight_smile: Luckily, we still keep in contact occasionally and he hasn't flirted at all anymore.
     
    #15 Midori, Aug 14, 2015
  16. Leifa

    Leifa
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    Prettttyy much. Whenever I get on a chat site I always get at least one guy askign me for nudes, cyber...etc...and they don't let up even if myprofile says "Only interested in Women" it bloody sucks.
     
    #16 Leifa, Aug 14, 2015
  17. Cedar

    Cedar
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    Yeah, I've gotten a few.
     
    #17 Cedar, Aug 14, 2015
  18. Zor616

    Zor616
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    One
    time stone one thought I was 20, when I was actually 10.
     
    #18 Zor616, Jul 16, 2017
  19. KarenLyn

    KarenLyn
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    OMG'ddss... I'm not even sure where to go to flirt online LOL
     
    #19 KarenLyn, Jul 17, 2017
  20. DirectionNorth

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    I had to write on my bio twice i'm a LESBIAN and NOT INTERESTED IN MEN AT ALL and was about to put the dictionary definition of lesbian, not that that would do any good. Why can't people understand that? Very annoying.

    Has anyone else seen all the blatant men who put down gay woman for their orientation? I don't mean the trans women, I mean full-blown heteto men(some pics proving their manhood) just trying to.pick up chicks or convert them or whatever. One of the main reasons I got off those sites.
     
    #20 DirectionNorth, Jul 17, 2017
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