Do women in the bisexual community get more recognition than or outnumber men?

Bi men are less out, for sure. It is *so* bad to be a woman in our society that anyone who takes on a "feminine role,"...like sucking a cock...tends to take more heat than those who take on a masculine role. This has been a debate for ages between gay men and lesbians. Don't think that means bi and gay men have it worse...bi women and lesbians are actual women, after all. In general, we all need to stop playing the "who has it worse?" game, which I take to be a kind of subtext of your post.

On a bisexual site on which I am a member, at the height of its thriving as a community, men outnumbered women something like 10:1. I do not try to generalize that ratio to society generally...I suspect male and female bisexuals are about equally present in society. My point is that if you only look at a single community, you can get a very skewed view of the actual landscape. There is no known reason why a sexuality should be biased toward men or women.

Calling bisexuality a "feminist movement" is stupid, because it implies that women can choose to be bisexual...in order to move women's causes forward? Because lesbians are so respected by our society? And yet I'm sure some women *do try* sex with women, not because they are bisexual, but because they fancy somehow that it empowers them...because if they can only get themselves to genuinely like it, that would be a step toward independence from men, and *that* is a feminist goal. But it all stems from ignorance of where sexuality comes from.

 

Considering bi/gay men bear the brunt of negative stereotypes (pedophiles, perverts, drug users, sado-masochists), were historically targeted by anti-sodomite laws, are disproportionately affected by HIV and AIDS in comparison, rejected by members of the opposite sex (not just heterosexual members), and overrepresented among those beat and murdered, yeah, I'd say they do have it worse in some ways.

@OP,
Historically, bisexual organizations were founded and lead by women, and women are more likely to identify as bisexual openly. It's "safer" for them to do so, but they're also taken less seriously - the implication is that they're experimenting, fishing for attention, or lacking penis in their life. For men it's the opposite, they're assumed to be "really" gay. Either way, there's a higher risk for sexual assault among bisexual women than for lesbians or straight women, so that should tell you something regarding male entitlement, plus when everyone assumes women are all naturally bisexual, it totally erases lesbian experiences.

And because many women are feminists, queer women no less, you're probably going to hear some dialogue regarding the topic. I think there are more AFAB genderqueer, so a lot of the discussions that go on in our groups are centered around those narratives, too. If more bisexual men were out, it would force society to face and answer some uncomfortable but necessary questions, regarding gender, sexuality, and whatnot. For some folk, sexuality is political, while for others, less so.

 

I read an interesting book called: Sexual Fluidity (Understanding Womens' Love And Desire) by Lisa Diamond. I don't know if men have fluid sexuality like women do, but I have known A LOT of women who have switched orientation a time or two, including myself. I could be wrong, but it seems men are more likely to have an obvious favorite.

 

I disagree with this analysis. I think the opposite actually--that this is one of those areas in life where men have it worse, and have to conform more strictly to gendered expectations. There's absolutely nothing negative about feminine traits... so long as they're in women. Women who display feminine character traits are not seen as 'inferior' to masculine women for instance. Masculine women get slapped on the wrist for gender-nonconformity as well, just to a lesser extent.

But that's what I think is going on--it's the act of gender-nonconformity itself that's the issue. And in our society, men are simply not given as much leeway to do that. Both men and women reinforce this system of roles.

I also think that an underlying justification for why some people believe women can be bisexual and men cannot ultimately stems from a view that men are inferior... that we're too simple-minded and primitive to have nuanced attractions.

 

This is so true, yet so unfortunate.

 

It probably has to do with the fact that men taking on "feminine roles" (such as liking, dating or having sex with other men) is seen in a considerably poorer light then the same of women taking on "masculines roles" (such as liking, dating or having sex with other women) is within society, it's more stigmatized, and bisexual women are probably somewhat fetishized by straight men and society to an extent as well; while two men together is seen as "icky" or wrong or something along those lines.

 

That was a good read, spatula.

Having worked in offices where there were women who were slightly more masculine than average (and usually not in a known relationship, no kids, and any suspicion of their sexual identity was deflected out of "hush hush" courtesy), they were also sort of viewed as "can do" as it related to the job. With men who were even slightly less masculine than average, whatever that average might be, and were not in a known relationship, unmarried, and had no kids, the rumor mill went amok much faster and, on top of that, assignments, greater responsibility, and promotions went to men who didn't pique these suspicions. It's a sad reality I've experienced on numerous occasions.

My opinion is that men can almost be bisexual more easily than women, since a lot of women attach something emotional to it. If a bisexual guy is in a dry spell or just horny, he can and will indulge. A comedian once made a joke about bisexuals having twice the likelihood of having dates. Incidentally, that brings me to the concept of dating, which is a loosely used term on here and everywhere else. Having someone come over or going to someone's place, once or with any kind of repetition, to have sex is not dating in my estimation. That's a joke, plain and simple.

 

Not all of us will go somewhere just to get off though. I believe in monogamy. If I can't feel safe(and I would never feel safe in a 1 night stand personally), then I can't enjoy the pleasure of a sex act. Some people(not referring to you Tightrope) paint all bisexuals to be whores and bang any adult that moves. That just isn't true.

 

I think it's most likely that in terms of biological attractions, both sexes are equally capable of being bisexual. Most people who are capable of switch-hitting live their entire lives either unaware of it or closeted about it. 2-3 times more women are open about it than men, and women are a far larger presence in the visible bisexual community in pretty much all queer spaces. However the rates of same-sex encounters among 'heterosexually identified' men and women are quite similar at the end of the day.

As for whether we're all a bunch of slutty horndogs... to be fully honest if there were vaccines and cures for every terrible STD out there, and if birth control had zero side effects and worked 100% of the time and everyone could use it, I suspect a lot more people WOULD be more adventurous and casual than they are. That is just a hypothesis though, and I could not guess how much of a difference that would make socially.

 

Maybe, but it's hard to tell because too many people are assclowns about us.

Something to consider about women's sexuality...​

Spoiler

Women can be anything they want to be. CEOs, porn stars, mothers, tomboys, doctors, bisexual, race car drivers, lesbian, whatever.

But there is fine print that says, all of this is allowable -- so long as you are readily available to whomever wants you to be. Go ahead and kiss girls and run that company, but when it's time to 'be a woman', you comply.

Why is that important to consider?
It influences the reason women appear to have it easier in regards to sexuality. It may be more tolerated for a female to express same-sex desires, but that same female -- as others have already addressed -- more than likely has her sexuality perceived as negotiable.

Why is this important?
It is very reminiscent of the whole 'women don't know what they want' mentality. Nothing undermines and devalues somebody faster or more maliciously than attacking their competence, their intelligence to make choices and maintain, well, dat independenz. Basically, a women doesn't know better and needs to be set properly, even if that means going against what she feels and believes works for her.

Each side has their pros and cons. It would be quite interesting to see, how the other would react if they switched these.

I like men and women. So I must be at least bisexual, right? I assure you, there is no non-stop orgy fiesta going on in my life, LOL.

 

Oh believe me, I agree in a lot of ways. I think a huge problem is that there's a giant stigma with being associated as bisexual if you're a guy- I personally know a lot of guys who actually identify as gay but will privately admit as being bisexual just to avoid stigma in the gay community. Granted, I think you still sort of have this stigma with being a bisexual woman (a lot of bisexual women may, for instance, say they're either straight or lesbian in certain contexts) but I don't think it's really as prominent as it is for men.