Hello everybody. I am a young male (25), and I have been attracted to people of the same gender for a while. I never explored this part of my life, but now I feel I'm going to implode. I want to explore more my preferences and meet guys that I like and like me back. But I have not idea on how to do so. I know a gay couple, but we aren't close friends. I went out with them and their friends only once, and I felt overwhelmed by all the new things in my mind. That night I accepted my preferences at a gay bar, so I didn't know how to react. I was too concerned on how things would be from that moment on. They are nice, and I want to ask them to hangout again, but their friends are so feminine. Its like they have an stereotype of behaving like girls, and I don't behave like that. I would feel awkward and that I don't fit in their group. If I make gay friends, I want to be able to add them on facebook without my family noticing it, but they make comments and posts calling each other "girlfriend". Yeah, I have stalked a bit :lol: Asking them to hangout would also mean that I am ready to show the world my preferences, and I don't feel ready for that. It scares me. I want to explore this, but at the same time I am scared to death of how things will change :icon_sad: Right now I don't hangout with anybody, not straight, neither gay people. I just don't find where I fit. I want to be me. I don't want to change. I don't want to behave feminine. I just don't know how to deal with this. I have been postponing my life choices, but I can't keep doing that.
Don't be too worried about what people think of you. Obviously, don't come out in a situation if it will be unsafe. You said that you "would feel awkward" hanging out with more "feminine" men. But, you should still try to hang out with them and see how it feels. If you don't click with them, don't worry about it. Also, don't change who you are to fit in with them. Be as masc as you want to be. Just be you! You will eventually find friends who accept you the way you are. Good luck!
