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What are The Rules?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by OGS, Aug 16, 2015.

  1. OGS

    OGS
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    So I was responding to a different thread and started out by saying that LGBT dating didn't have all those rules that straight dating does, but then in discussing with my partner I realized that when I really think about it I think there are a lot of rules. I don't know if anyone remembers the book The Rules. It was a best-seller in the nineties, subtitled: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right.

    So I was curious what your dating rules were especially anything you think is different for LGBT people, everything from first kiss to first f*ck, who pays, who asks, how often you phone all of that. I'm curious to see what other people's rules are.
     
  2. kageshiro

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    That's probably some gender role nonsense like "guy has to ask the girl out, take her on dates, be the one to propose" etc. Dating should have 2 rules: be your partner's best friend and be safe.
     
  3. Geek

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    Just my usual

    • You ask? Great! You're paying.
    • sex on the first date? Not happening bro
    • unless you're texting family, or taking a photo of us, get off your phone
    • don't be ignorant
    • we're together. Obviously I like you. Don't go to crazy
    • one date doesn't make us Facebook official
     
  4. QueerTransEnby

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    Always wear protection until you have been together for a few years. Get tested frequently as long as we are sexually active, even until old age. Don't lie to me, don't cheat on me. Try to be family oriented and don't do drugs. You can drink but don't be drunk around me. Those are just my own personal rules.

    ---------- Post added 16th Aug 2015 at 09:45 PM ----------

    I agree with Geek's first date rules too.
     
  5. Maddy

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    Split the costs unless someone can't afford it, in which case they pay next time/when they can.
    Talk to each other. We don't need to be communicating 24/7 but I like to have a quick "how was your day" chat at the end of the day if nothing else.
    No sexy things when a housemate's at home.
    In my current relationship, monogamy.
     
  6. sartorious

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    I've only dated one guy and he's been my BF for like less than 24 hours.
    I dont know if my rule are valid but here it goes

    First Kiss

    • Either you are very very very attractive and i'm super desperate at that time or we are super drunk if we did that on our first date

    First F*ck

    • On first date? Never gonna happen
    • On second date? Let's see how this night end, but dont count on it
    • On third date? What the hell are you waiting for!! I'm not getting any youngger

    Who Pays

    • Ideally both party split the cost, but so far my BF dont want me to spend my money on any of our dates

    Who Ask

    • Not important, the most important is the time we spent together and how we going to spend it

    How Often You Phone

    • Unless its very important (someone dying, family matter, legal issue) dont you dare playing with your phone in front of me. We are one a date, I'm supposed to be your focus and not your phone

    additional and personal rule:
    • Text or Call at least once a day, keep communicating
    • If we have a problem, discuss it between us and don't make it a public affair. Yes taking to your best friend whom you trust may be easier but he wont solve our problem. We have to solve it ourselves
    • Full disclosure of health bill (yes all of them mental health, past illness, infections incl: HepC, HepB, STD, TORCH, HIV)
    • Absolutely DO NOT LIE, i almost never lie to you so i expect you to do the same for me
    • Discuss what kind of relationship you want in advance : monogamous, open relationship, polyamorous or whatever. [currently he want a monogamous relationship]
    • Understand each other
     
    #6 sartorious, Aug 16, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2015
  7. trilldude23

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    Hmmmm I think think it depends on the guys honestly. Some gay couples try to satisfy heteronormative practices and as a result the more traditionally "masculine" man may pay for the date, the bottom may be judged if he has sex (so stupid), and all depending on weather you are a top or bottom or "feminine" or "masculine" it may effect how your gay peers perceive you. So yea there may be rules depending on the the gay guys, who your peers are (gay or straight), and other things. Just my two cents