1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Masculine guy exclusively attracted to effeminate guys

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Michael123, Aug 17, 2015.

  1. Michael123

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2015
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Liverpool
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I'm a pretty masculine guy; I'm 6'1", I lift weights, practice Brazilian jiu jitsu and kick boxing and nobody ever knows I'm gay until I tell them. The only guys I find attractive are effeminate camp guys. I like slim slender guys who dress, speak and act in a feminine manor. On the rare occasions I meet guys i'm attracted to they don't even know I'm gay, then on the even more rare occasions I actually hook-up with one of these guys they show no interest in any of my hobbies and interests. Im also exclusively top which limits the pool of potential partners even more. Idk, sometimes I feel like I'm just gonna be alone forever. Do effeminate men actually want to date masculine men or do they just want to get fucked and go and hang out with their effeminate friends?
     
  2. trilldude23

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2015
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey bro!! This is in stark contrast to what I normally hear because usually I hear men bragging about how "masculine" they are and how much they loathe "feminine" men (ugh). Now on to your question, many effeminate men love dating macho men who exclusively top! But in terms of you guys having similar interests, the relationship may be comparable to a heterosexual relationship that consists of a macho masculine man who loves sports, cars, and working out while the ultra feminine woman may not be interested or despise such things. And I'm so sorry for your dating plight and thanks for having the courage and bravery to share! Its funny you bring this up because I just made a post about how difficult it is for me to find my type. One benefit you do have however, is the fact that the gay community is overflowing with men that are traditionally "feminine." Hope I could help!
     
  3. ThatFrostyGuy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2015
    Messages:
    54
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England, Cambridgeshire
    Gender:
    Male
    Definitely! Although I'm not overtly either feminine or masculine, I much prefer masculine, muscled guys. However, it always seems to me that masculine guys only go with other masculine guys, much to my annoyance. So much so that I've started trying to put on muscle to attract them, although now I say that it sounds pretty lame. Oh well, I guess it's as good a reason as any to get fit.

    Anyway, as far as dating goes, if you want a relationship I would recommend getting to know eachother for a while before sex, so you have some kind of bond.
     
  4. mangotree

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2014
    Messages:
    1,322
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Queensland, Australia
    Why is an interest in your hobbies so important to you?
     
    #4 mangotree, Aug 17, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2015
  5. wannahavechange

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2015
    Messages:
    550
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Jacksonville,fl
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm having the same trouble.. I get mistooken for a dominant type, myself... in some of my previous threads I've said that I only attract females... and old ladies XD, when I do catch the attention of another guy.. they're more of the submissive, effeminate type.

    Also, I think alot off dominant gay guys think I'm a dominant too..
    I admit my voice is very light, but I'm actually a closeted sucker for brawls and mma fights.. capoirea seems like so much fun.. I tried it and almost broke something lols. I often joke with myself and say "How unlady like,... you'll never attract a proper suitor!!" XD

    Don't give up and keep on searching(!)(!)(!)
     
  6. Blue787Bunny

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2015
    Messages:
    273
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Missouri
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    The OP is one of those extremely rare types. The mythical "masculine for feminine" type. :eusa_clap

    Well I'm not exactly feminine. I'm sort of in that in between place in regards to masculinity and femininity that people have to squint their eyes because they have difficulty categorizing you when they see you. I tend to be categorized as straight because I only have straight friends and I think people use that as a basis.

    Anyways I have a gay cousin who is effeminate. His past boyfriends have been somewhat effeminate as well, sort of those I can tell that his gay from 100 feet away. His friends are predominantly effeminate as well but not all of them are in a relationship with another effeminate guy. Some are with "masculine" guys.

    I think what I'm trying to say is people have their own tastes. It's just that you've met femmes who are also into femmes. If the mythical "masculine for feminine" type exists then I'm pretty sure the "feminine for masculine" type exists as well. Just need to keep looking.

    As for sharing interests you can look at it two ways. If you think about it in the are you looking for a friend-type relationship where you do everything together. Go mountain climbing, sports, shooting, etc then that will be harder to find after all we are all unique and finding someone like minded isn't easy. Our friends are the closest thing and you don't go exactly finding friends on every corner. so expect that finding a partner with the same interests would be just as hard. Second if a partner is what you're truly looking for is it truly important for you to share interests? If the partner-partner relationship is what your after then you can view it as I'll do my own thing and you do yours. As partners in reality you don't have to share everything--- friends, hobbies, etc after all those are just but one aspect of his person.
     
  7. Tightrope

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2013
    Messages:
    5,415
    Likes Received:
    387
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Personally, I've only seen it once. It was an acquaintance who was menacing looking, darker, and worked out a lot. He liked slender, blond, effeminate guys. For him, it worked perfectly. He was dominant and they were submissive.

    In most cases, though, I've seen masculine with masculine. It can vary somewhat, but it's not a canyon, either. I have a good friend who would be considered campy and silly and whom I've know since I was in school, and most of his friends are also campy and silly. I wouldn't say you could tell they were gay and would need to talk to them for about 1 minute to figure it out. This friend I'm referring to does not have a lot of masculine friends, although he has some quiet friends who are sort of neutral and would just fade into the crowd.

    If that's what you like, that's what you like. You might have to be more patient to get it. Also, it could be that your sharing your interests might be a little intimidating, but that's just a hunch.
     
  8. Gen

    Gen
    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2012
    Messages:
    4,070
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Nowhere
    It's interesting that people seemed to have seen more masculine with masculine pairings. If anything, I feel as though I have seen more neutral with neutral than anything. Neutral men are often inherently described as masculine simply on the principle that they are not flashy or flamboyant, but that is a completely different issue in itself.

    Even still, I have known quite a number of relationships between masculine and feminine men. It definitely isn't rare. It often appears that way because masculinity praised to the point that rarely anything else is desired in gay hookup culture. There is an obscene amount of sexism, racism, body-shaming, etc, in online gay culture. So much.

    However, meeting people in the real world and viewing them beyond labels tends to leave people much more openminded and actual relationship pairings are capable of being much more diverse. I would recommending finding some LGBTQ events or something of the sort to attempt to try to meet more people in general.