1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

My experience of overcoming depression

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gibson234, Aug 19, 2015.

  1. gibson234

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2013
    Messages:
    1,135
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    UK,Wales
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Most the threads on empty closets on depression are very negative and focus on the problem of depression and not the solution. I understand that expressing ones experience of depression is important but I feel I should balance that with some positive experiences of my recovery from depression.

    I had depression for as long as I remembered. I was never a happy child, teenager or young adult. I felt worthless. I used to have suicidal thoughts. A few years ago I went as far as buying pills and almost went to drink an overdose. Depression was all I had known and for a period it was all I think I could know.

    However, one day I heard a motivational speaker say something along the lines of "to get over depression all you have to do is grow some balls". At the time I thought this was unempathetic and offensive. So I ignored it. Later I learnt about the Negative Feedback loops from my counseling. The priniciple behind it is that when a negative event happens you feel sorry for yourself. This makes you feel worst causing you to feel even more sorry for yourself causing a cycle of misery. This general idea is the main driver of depression. And this knowledge helped me understand the initial advice of the motivational speaker. Essentially they were saying that to get over depression you had to stop feeling sorry for yourself.

    So I set about trying to stop my response to negative events from being self pity. This is effectively what CBT is trying to achieve. It is difficult. I found that self pity is addictive. It gives an easy narrative to your life and you problems. I am a victim and I derserve this or I'm worst off than everyone else. This addictiveness was what made me react to the motivational speaker with offense. As I didn't want to give up my self pity.

    So by self-reflection I gave up my self pity or reduce it. And this depression that I had always had slowly faded away. My attitude now is that I can deal with any negative situation.

    So what I'm saying is that in my opinion. The reason people can't get over depression is that they look for an external solution. When the only solution is internal. It may be that you depression was different to mine although I suspect that it is not that different. But internal reflection, thinking and learning to think positively is the solution. Pills and therapy can help that process but they are not the definitive solution.

    Some of you may be offended by this thread. Just consider the possiblity that it is your self-pity addiction that is causing the offense not my thread.

    Does anyone relate to this or disagree?
     
  2. zgirl81

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2015
    Messages:
    185
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    MN
    I agree with you, but only to a certain extent. Self-reflection is absolutely necessary to getting better, and pills aren't the only (or necessarily best) way to treat depression. Exercise is also a good combatant, connection to others, getting involved in activities, social connection, talk therapy, group therapy, and all sorts of other things help too. However, there are many different reasons that people get depressed or stay depressed.

    The method you describe works great for a big number of people! When you're stuck in a negative loop it's extremely helpful to break out, and some people only need that. However, I for one come from a different perspective.

    I am suffering from a form of PTSD. Because of the great stress I was under my body decided that in order to protect itself I should have panic attacks and be alert at ALL times. Physically my body was telling me to GET OUT of that place yet I didn't listen until I had a full break-down. That freaked out my system and caused all sorts of symptoms to crop up including a crushing depression. The hardest thing for me is that the thing that stressed me out used to be my greatest passion... so I'm having a really hard time reconciling those two feelings together. It's not a self-pity problem, but reacclimatizing myself to the appropriate levels of self-preservation for normal life.

    Also, some people have a family history of depression. Their brain chemicals are naturally out of sync, and the best way to control it is through medication. Granted, people in this boat normally will also fall into a loop, but it isn't started through their own self-pity... it's started through a natural imbalance.

    I'm glad that your depression went away with self-reflection! That's awesome! Just be careful not to invalidate someone else's experiences completely because you're feeling better and another person isn't.
     
  3. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2015
    Messages:
    2,802
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Far above the clouds, gazing deep below the Earth
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    I'm glad that you beat the game! :slight_smile:

    But also; remember that your experience is not a recipe for everyone with depression. This was your experience and your way to move forward. It would not work for everybody.

    That said. It can work for many; it is not an all-covering truth, but it's a suggestion, a possibility, that might or might not fit and work for people on here with depression. So thanks for sharing! :slight_smile: And also, it does point the finger in the right direction, I think; that depression is about being stuck in negative cycles of thinking in one way or another - negative cycles that aren't materially real, and that can be overcome.
    And also, when you say "learning to think positively", that might sound offensive to a depressed person - but you are essentially correct. Depressed people or people suffering from certain mental health issues have a negative bias when they look upon the world. And the goal is not to have a neutral bias. Because it's actually a positive bias that is the standard, harmonized way to think.
     
  4. MetalRice

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2015
    Messages:
    29
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    I'm very happy you beat the game OP, I am still stuck myself in the whole rut, but I hope to be able to overcome it one day; and reading at how other people managed to do it certainly helps somewhat I can say.
     
  5. NameDoe

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2015
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    earth
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Great Topic! When it comes to clinical depression meds are sometimes needed. It is what tool or resource that works for one personally, that counts. I found depression to be a looping cycle until I realized that depression was what I had, not who I was. The 'self pity' wasn't self driven although it felt like it at the time, it was actually clinical depression that wasn't treated. But I also found the tools of support systems, new perspectives, and self nurture very helpful as well. :slight_smile:
     
    #5 NameDoe, Aug 21, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2015
  6. gibson234

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2013
    Messages:
    1,135
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    UK,Wales
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I think I explained the point of my thread badly. I'm not saying everyone's depression is like mine. I'm saying that self-reflection is very important and is often ignored. However, most people who have my kind of depression my not think they do because of the nature of the depression itself.
     
  7. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2015
    Messages:
    2,802
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Far above the clouds, gazing deep below the Earth
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Self-reflection is very important and that's an excellent thing to bring up.
    Understanding that one has depression is often rudimentary to being able to overcome it. Then one can start fighting back against the automatic thoughts that negatively affect or even form one's perspective.
     
    #7 Invidia, Aug 22, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2015
  8. KaySee

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2015
    Messages:
    183
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Minnesota
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Dysthymia is a less sever, but long lasting type of depression. I was a sad, introverted kid. Most people don't think to look for depression in kids. But I had it. It peaked in middle school.

    I had little to no risk factors. Some people are just depressed.

    It was about in the middle of the severest time of my depression that I realized that I probably was not straight.

    After a year or two of self-harm, I told someone. At first, it was so annoying. They hid all the scissors in the house! I found them all pretty quickly (really? the paper drawer?) used more than those but I am not telling them that now. Not when I can cut paper without subterfuge. At least now I'm a rubber band snapper, as opposed to a cutter.

    My treatment involves a therapist, who I still see; support; and anti-depressants.

    I see my therapist half as much now, can look after myself better, and the anti-depressant dosage has gone down. I had to switch medications a few times when my body adapted to a medication. Side-effects were usually mild but sometimes absolutely terrible.

    There were setbacks. Family issues and the deaths of family members. Changes. Personal issues (who am I?).

    I'm better now. But one or more previous episodes of depression are a major risk factor for depression.

    Still, I spent so long depressed, it feels like a part of me. Sometimes I don't want to feel better because I might change. Better the devil you know...