So, me and my Mom were talking to this lady and she was talking about me and boyfriends. She was all like, "You can go talk to your 'boy friends', but not like a 'boy friend'. Yeah, stay away from those boyfriends." All that stuff. Anyway, I got really mad, because she didn't say "or girlfriend". Do you know what I mean? This always happens. They always tell you to stay away form having a boyfriend, but they never put that "or girlfriend" in the sentence. I know I can't tell people out of the blue about my sexuality, but still! It drives me nuts! I'm freaking Bisexual, and people automatically assume that I like boys. Not all girls are straight!!! I know that people are not used to Bisexuals or even Lesbians, but this just feels freaking awful. I want people to be able to know that I don't just like guys. It's just very frustrating for me to feel like I have to act straight or even be called or assumed to be straight. I want people to know that I like BOTH genders!! Now we're going on to stereotyping Bisexuals. Some, and I mean some Lesbians feel like we will cheat on them with a guy. I feel as if I won't get a girlfriend, because people think this. Same with guys, but they're kind of different about it. some guys will think that it's okay, because they want to see the girl with girl action. Like dude, I'm Bisexual. It doesn't mean that I'm experimenting with a girl just to get you guys all crazy! Like no, just stop!! Now, I know this isn't everybody. I already know people like, EmofSuburbia, who won't think that about Bisexuals. It's just that some lesbians do, and it's very frustrating. That's why I feel that it's better to date another Bisexual, you know? I mean, people don't just cheat on you because they like two genders. Nah man, the person you date she trust you and you should trust them. People who cheat are not happy with themselves and are players. I'm not a player and I like myself. So, that should be that. Sorry if I bored you, or if this is offensive in any way. This post is not supposed to be offensive at all! Thank you for reading this! Bai ^.^
It's not offensive in any way, first of all, at least I didn't think so. I might be bisexual/ maybe lesbian? I have absolutely no idea. But I agree with you on so many things. I hate it when people say "husband" or "boyfriend" for me, but I suppose it doesn't bother me as much. I feel really good towards people who don't instantly assume you're straight though. I was texting my girlfriend in class once, and this guy asked me if I was texting my "boyfriend...or girlfriend, whichever you like." And that made me really happy~ I relate more deeply to what you said about the stigmas around bisexuality. I still identify as bi, so I've been told a lot of things... "Can't you choose to be straight then, why do you have a girlfriend and choose to be gay?" "Do you ask out every person you see" "Woah I'm creeped out, do you like me too?" "Did you cheat on her with a guy because you're bi?" (Coming from a guy who loves to cheat on his girlfriend(s) ) I agree, I would totally trust someone who was bi, I don't see why people wouldn't! I mean, we technically don't have a bigger dating pool...because of bisexuality stigmas. My girlfriend is bi with a straight leaning. But I know she loves me more than any other guy, and is sexually attracted. She's the most loyal person I've met... I hate when people do that. I mean, a straight or gay person can be a cheater too!
Thanks for replying! Yeah, I age! Gay or straight, anyone can cheat. It's available to anyone, no matter what sexuality. I feel like Pansexual people get it too, but mainly Bisexuals. I haven't told anyone at school about my sexuality, because it's very...conservative over here. Everyone's a republican, so I'm worried about what they might say or do. Though, most people I have met are either Bisexual themselves or Bi-curious in some way. I'm afraid that I might not find a girlfriend, and lately my fluidity has been toward girls. I just want someone to say "or girlfriend" for a change, because it's driving me crazy! I want someone to at least look at me and think that I'm not straight for once, because it's very very frustrating.
It sucks that people can't understand bisexuals even I to a certain extent can't understand them (or myself, or straight people, or some religions, and so on so forth), but I do my best because even though I don't think I'm capable of loving both genders in the relationship type of way I still want to respect the people that can (same goes for everything else in the other parenthesis). If I handed my heart to a bi girl I would trust that she wouldn't break it. If I truly loved her I would not question her ability to love me back and hopefully if the roles were reversed she would do the same. ..... and about that lady, I wouldn't blame her to much the world is still trying to understand and respect the LGBTQ+ community. Some people never will like us but that is their own opinion and I respect the people who KINDLY say that they don't approve of this community because it's there opinion and we all have them.
Yeah, I understand. I didn't hate the lady for saying that, because most people do. She was very nice about it, and it was said as a joke. Though, I still got mad about it, because it actually occurred to me for the first time. I mean, I've rolled my eyes mentally before, but today was different in a sense. Anyway, thank you so much for replying! I understand what you mean, and I'm very happy that you are at least trying to understand us. I mean, a lot of people can't. I think it's just od to people who are used to only liking one gender. Nobody really has been open minded to people who like two genders, because they're so used to only liking one and one only. So, I really appreciate you replying to this post, because I see what you mean and what your perspective is on this.
Yeah sometimes that kind of joke hurts. My grandpa has said that same joke (Where's your boyfriend?) every Sunday ever since I was able to say "I don't have one papa" and now that I've realized that i'm into girls it hurts a lot because my entire family is full of conservative Christians.
Yeah, it does hurt. But my family, at least the one I live with, isn't Christian. Everybody else is though, and it's very hard to be open about your sexuality. Like, you can't tell your friend's parents that you are something else instead of straight. all they know, and what they grew up with was only straight people. Or at least that's what they've been taught to be like. It wasn't natural to like the same sex, or even two genders back then. So, I don't blame people for being religious or growing up with different knowledge, I'm just mad at society in general. They put people likes us into a box, and don't let us be accepted. Nobody ever thinks outside of the "box". You know what I mean?
Yeah I totally get... I mean I've never been to MiddleEarth before, but I know that there is that one place everywhere (especially in the South) where it seems like no one understands or thinks open minded about this community and for me I don't have any close friends offline that aren't family members and just about every teacher and student that I would trust to come out to is religious and might not react well to me coming out....so I haven't. I may just wait until I move out to come out because it seems like the best way as far as I know.
Yeah, I'd wait until college. I'm going somewhere else for college, so it'd be better probably. I feel like in college, I'll find my lgbt people. I know that the one I want to sign up for has a gay and lesbian community/club. I'm really really happy! Anyway, MiddlEarth can have its moments. I mean, there really isn't anybody I cant talk to about this kind of stuff. Only my parents and closets friends. I can't even find the courage to come out to them, because it's too embarrassing..? I guess? Anyway, I'd rather stay in the closet for a few more months/years. It's easier than telling people you know who will react horribly to it. (I know that's not right, but it's just...easier).
Sorry this one is long To be honest I don't even want to go to college. It's not that I don't like learning things and stuff, but I don't even know what I would want to major in and stuff. Plus my parents are in plenty of debt already and yesterday my mom's check literally flew out the window, so it would be easier for them if I didn't go. Anyway I think I would rather move to New York or somewhere and just get a little dingy apartment and a job at like a diner or something. I might even just travel the world or do something unexpected. There have been at least two times when I almost came out to my younger sister. One of them was the day that gay marriage became legal in every state and then I chickened out. The other time was a couple of weeks ago when we suddenly got into a deep discussion about the things we do that our parents don't know about. At first is was about cussing and flipping people off. We both admitted to being guilty of that and then I asked her what she thought about gay people and she said that she didn't approve of their "choice" but she did ship people like Troyler. Then I asked her if she truly believed that it's a "choice" and I flipped the situation around and basically made her stand in the shoes of a gay person. I then asked her again If it was a "choice" and she said she "I guess not" and she was really confused. I also asked her how she would react if someone she knew came out to her and she said that at first she would be angry but she would never disown them or hate them. The I talked and cried a lot and once again thinking she would catch all of the hints/I chickened out again. Then later she came to my room thinking that I was going to kill myself and gave me an awkward sibling hug (pat pat). I still think she will be the first family member I will tell.
It's alright, I understand! For college, I used to say that I would travel the world first before going. I literally made a contract with my Mom about it, and she said she was fine with it...but of course she said that I had to go right after I finished. I've always wanted to go to New York, but it's so BIG. I don't think I would be able to survive there! Though, i have always wanted to get a small apartment there and work there as well (It seems that we have similar interests, hah~). As for your sister, I wouldn't fully understand. I don't have a sibling of my own, but I'll tell you what I think of from my perspective. It seems that she is a very loyal person, so she won't have much problem with you coming out. Though, she might have to get used to the idea. It's goo that you've been asking her all of these questions beforehand, because it would get messy if you didn't. I think having someone like your sister to tell this is a great idea, because at least someone in your family knows. If she loves you, she will support you no matter what. I'll tell you this, she'll still love you, but she just won't understand it. I've seen this in so many coming out videos(those were for Transgender people though), and it's always been like that. They support you and love you, but they still won't understand it all. Just be aware of that ahead of time!
But if you want people to know than you kind of have to bring it up. You can't expect everyone to accommodate LGBT+ people. I mean, what if you were asexual? "Actually I don't particularly want a boyfriend or girlfriend." Would you still feel like people were overlooking the possibility that you may not be straight?
Yeah, I get what you mean. I just wish it wasn't so hard to hide something that you aren't. Acting like you are straight is just really really hard. Though, my Mom has told me that I can't bring up anything about it to people or new friends. She's afraid I'll be beat up or talked about at school. Yesterday was an angry day, today is a new day. I don't hold grudges, and I will surely not feel as much anger as I did yesterday. Again, I'm sorry if I did hurt anyones feelings. This rant wasn't supposed to in any shape or form. Thanks for replying and giving your input! Goodnight/Good morning!
New York is amazing just so you know. It is big, busy, and sometimes aggravating, but it's totally worth it. In fact I have reason to believe that it is mostly made up of introverts just trying to build a new life for themselves. Pretty much from a distance no one seems to give a shit (In a kind of nice way) about who you are as a person and if you ask for help or start a conversation they are actually super nice..... although I have seen many crazies (mostly in time square), you just learn to ignore them. I think when i'm ready I can trust her because she seems way more open minded than my mom. My dad however is extremely open minded but I'm not sure that he'll take it as easy as her. Thank you for listening and Keeeeeeeep Hollllllding Onnnn as Avril Lavigne would sing. Sorry for taking over your thread. I should get some sleep now since it's almost 3 in the morning and I have band practice, my brother's, sister's, and my own school's open house tonight.
Haha, it's fine! you didn't take over my thread at all. It was very nice finally meeting you and talking! Good night/good morning! It's like 1:00am over here, so I need some sleep too.
Gosh I actually got really emotional reading this thread, this website and these conversations have really opened my eyes to just how many different people out there are all working through and trying to deal with their own difficult problems, I'm so glad we have this community of people here!
I really want to know where all this bisexual sexual debauchery is happening, because I clearly did not get the invite, damn it! How can I be a slut when I'm--oh, look, a hot guy!--oh, sorry, where was I? Ah, yes, how can I be a sl--DAAAAAAMN, LOOK AT DAT GIRL! I apologize for my inability to control myself. This damn bisexuality is a disease, and it's contagious! Best hide your gays and lesbians, 'cause we comin' to get them! Some people would use all of that as "proof", I'm sure.
Well, that's crazy for me, because people are like,"Oh you're a boy. Attract them ladies,"But in reality, I am not a boy, and I will go for those ladies in a lesbian way XD
