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So why all the hush on female sexuality?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by DreamerBoy17, Aug 21, 2015.

  1. DreamerBoy17

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    Hello, I'm EmOfSuburbia and I MASTURBATE!
    I mean, why was that so hard to type? Guys talk about anything sexual (not just jerking off) and it's like common conversation fodder. But for AFAB's, it's like some huge taboo! It's the same with getting laid. Guys are encouraged to screw as many girls as he possibly can, but a woman is shamed for losing her virginity to "the wrong person". Boys are also teased if they don't have a girlfriend (in straight land) and yet we all know about the dad who wants to shoot the first boy her daughter brings home. Girls are taught to repress sexuality, which to me sounds like such a stupid double standard.
    What do you guys think?
     
  2. MetalRice

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    Girls are seen as "delicate" creatures by many and talking about sexuality so openly is seen as a masculine thing and unladylike for a lady to do, and one that does so is often considered to be "slutty" by many; it's a stupid double standard.
     
  3. HopefulRebecca

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    It's true; stupid gender roles still haunt all of us, even in 2015.
     
  4. Bolt35

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    i guess it's because how "society" decides to dictate their little world of utopia. i think the more we can talk about it openly, the more we can be educated about it. male, female, alien, mammals, animals....so on and so on
     
  5. Simple Thoughts

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    Well it's a two sided front if you ask me.

    In the beginning it was purely one-sided. Society was male dominated and women were forced into an assigned gender role.

    Over time that hold has weakened and with the sexual revolution women were given more freedom sexually than they had before, however, old systems die hard and it was still frowned upon and fought back against for female's to express their sexuality.

    This side is the misogynistic/gender role side which influences women's expression of their sexual history in the same way guys do and falls into the category of double standard.


    On the other hand, however, we have Sex negative feminism...DUN DUN DUN!

    This is a particular brand of feminism that sees ( from what I've gathered, and I'll leave someone else here to correct me if I've gotten something wrong ) that sees sex negatively ( hince the name ). My understanding is this particular type of feminism views female sexuality as a negative thing, and that expression of that sexuality is just playing to male fantasy and serves only to objectify women because as everyone knows women don't actually enjoy sex, they just pretend to for male satisfaction....


    So...

    On one hand you have misognists demeaning you for expressing your sexuality because women aren't supposed to do that, only men. On the other you have feminism ( the antithesis to aforementioned group ) telling you that sexual expression only fuels male fantasy and is a sign of internalized misogyny.

    When every which way you look it's seen as a bad thing, what are you supposed to do?


    Though honestly between Magic Mike and 50 Shades of Daddy Issues I think female sexual expression is on the rise and we're about to see a lot more movies focused on objectifying males for female sexual satisfaction. Which also means that it's becomming more socially acceptable for women to talk about their sex life and fantasies.
     
  6. happydavid

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    I completely agree with you. You can talk to us with whatever you want to
     
  7. biAnnika

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    Hi Em. I am Annika and I too masturbate. I also enjoy orgasms with my partner, and would like to enjoy an occasional orgasm with a man as well. There has been a lot of progress on women's issues in the past 50 years (I mean, sheesh, at least now most people know that we *have* orgasms). And there is still much work to do (yes, we are still seen as sluts for wanting them and/or pursuing them). Of *course* the double-standards are stupid; and they are pervasive. I think so much of current societal structure goes back to ancient patterns and customs, when women were property...and it's so ingrained in us that it is difficult to see, even when it's right in front of us; but it influences our thinking and behavior at a deep level.
     
  8. kyoujin

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    I don't want to hear about your masturbation, whether you are male or female.

    I am a male, and I keep such things private. I feel no need to fool around with as many people as possible, and I do not make sex some kind of competitive game.

    But I am not against others (no matter the gender) doing so, as that is their preference.
     
  9. wisefolly

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    There was an interesting interview earlier this month, here's a bit of it:

    The interview (you can read or hear it here) is for the book The Boundaries of Desire: A Century of Good Sex, Bad Laws, and Changing Identities by Eric Berkowitz. It covers all the women-as-property stuff as well as why women, or gays, or basically anyone who wasn't a straight male, was seen negatively for having any kind of sexuality that wasn't of the straight male variety.
     
  10. alilnervous

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    The large problem is that men often feel they can impose on women's rights and speak for how they feel. It is has come to the point where we feel we can speak for how women should deal with things going on with your body, what you wear, how you speak, absolutely everything we feel we are entitled to have an opinion on. Too many people feel the need to speak, without listening to the oppressed. So when I see your post, I empathize with where your coming from. I'm trying really hard not to mansplain, but this is what I feel is the problem, correct me if I am wrong XD
     
  11. Moonflower

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    Yes, absolutely you're on to a problem with women's sexuality and women in general in America. It is so culturally ingrained that as has been mentioned, women and girls even shame each other, calling other girls or women "sluts" if they are not suitably sexually repressed. This kind of thing is tolerated if not encouraged and is very rarely called out.
    I've recently read an eye opening article on it, from a lesbian point of view, but the problem it calls into question is true for all women.
    It’s Not Just Donald Trump
     
  12. Nocturnal

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    Agreed. This ideology need to stop. Growing up with strict parents with conservative ideals, my sister & I are not allowed to date until we finish college. But I know if we were boys, they wouldn't give a fuck.
     
  13. VacantPlanets

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    Oh nooooo not masturbation we never do that, it's taboo. lol

    Yes, men usually have trouble hearing anything about female sexuality unless it includes them, of course. Part of it is knowing they don't meet the criteria of your fantasies, in short it's rejection to them. And we know how straight guys are with their "feels".
     
  14. gibson234

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    It's just gender roles. If girls sleep around they are sluts but guys are studs. But if a guy doesn't have a girlfriend he's a loser but a girl is pure if they don't have a boyfriend.
     
  15. Momosboy

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    I know. So stupid. If it were up to us, we would fix this for sure.
     
  16. DreamerBoy17

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    Huh, I've never actually heard of those so-called "feminists" though I don't doubt their existence. A true feminist would know that women have the same right to pleasure as men, and enjoying yourself is not playing into male fantasy, besides the fact that that is a rather heteronormative worldview. Real feminists believe in women's choice, and don't demean them for choosing something one way or the other.
     
  17. MetalRice

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    Yeah, I don't really consider the sex negative "feminists" to be true feminists, they are extremists in every single regard and meaning; a true feminist (which I consider myself to be, a feminist that is) would believe that a woman's choice is important over all else.
     
  18. Simple Thoughts

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    Believe in it or not, it is most definitely a thing.
     
  19. YuriBunny

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    Silly double standards...
     
  20. loveislove01

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    Hi, I love to masturbate!
    I'm personally really open about stuff like this. (Especially with my group of friends and my girlfriend) and we talk about things a lot related to sex, the female anatomy, and none of us really care.
    I agree there is a double standard though...for both sexes.