There's literally no way I can think of right now that could chunk up this post and lead to the question, so I might as well just go straight for it: Why do most straight men not have a problem with dating bisexual women, but most straight women do have a problem dating bisexual men?
I think that if they think, before they've even dated a bi guy, that their boyfriends/husbands/whatever are going to cheat on them, then it says a lot about themselves. Take that how you will. It makes men who date bi women sound like they don't care if they're cheated on, too. I know if I ever dated a bi girl (I probably won't but wouldn't say no if it felt right) and I found out she'd cheated on me with a girl, I'd be just as hurt as if it were with a man. Cheating is cheating. And that threesome thing reminds me of something I'd say when I was thirteen. :lol: Gracias!
My ex-boyfriend hated it but didn't tell me until around a year into the relationship. Was terrified I'd get bored and leave him for a woman... If it's not one, it's the other, eh? In hindsight, maybe he had good intuition. Still, if I'd never left I probably wouldn't have looked any more deeply at my lack of sexual interest in men.
Quite honestly, bisexual men are seen as just gay and in denial. Women are probably sure that they'll "come out" sooner or later. Bi women, on the other hand, have the opposite problem. Many straight men seem to think that they are just sexually adventurous straight girls, so of course they still like them.
Men date or don't have problems being in a relationship with a bisexual woman because... (1) They have the fantasy/fetish of girl-on-girl action or a threesome. (2) To some men the sight of women kissing each other is considered "hot". (3) Some men view bisexual women as just "faking it" to attract men. Wait until the time the woman (bisexual) refuses to have girl-on-girl sex and the fantasy crumbles. The man will ditch the woman most of the time. Women won't date or have problems being in a relationship with a bisexual man because... (1) The concept of "Bi now Gay later..." some women believe bisexual men are just going through a phase and will eventually end up gay and cheat on them or will leave them eventually. (2) Some women still hold the belief that like gay men, bisexual men have a higher rates of HIV/AIDS. Belief stemming from the AIDS Epidemic of the 1980's in the USA where there was a high incidence of HIV/AIDS in young men who had sex with other men. (3) Some women are repulsed at the idea that they are going to kiss a mouth that has sucked the cock/penis of another man. (4) Some women view men that has had sex with another man as "less manly". They equate it as to being less masculine therefor less appealing. (5) Some women are repulsed at the idea that a man has had anal sex with another man. Especially the man that played the passive role (bottomed), they view this as being "made-a-woman". Therefor the man is viewed as less masculine. (6) Some women view bisexuality as a threat to monogamy. They believe that the bisexual man will cheat on them with another man.
Love this! A much more indepth analysis than I would of expected. You've raised some good points there. Thank you!
Not many straight females want a man who is also attracted to other men. Most women do prefer men who carry masculinity to a strong degree. Although this is completely false, many women don't consider being a homosexual as masculine. My best friend is one of the biggest LGBT supporters that you'll find but she would never, ever date a bisexual male. When it comes to men dating bisexual women, guys don't give a shit. They think it's cool that they've "turned them straight", something to brag about to their friends I guess. Or they think a threesome is in the future.
Bunny's response pretty much sums it up, proving that male sexuality is taken a lot more seriously, but at the same time, is seen in terms of binary and judged more harshly. There are a lot more well-known stereotypes regarding homosexuality for men, and I think people still see women's sexuality as being either 1) non-existent 2) "fluid" or 3) there only to serve men/unimportant.
That's a great list! It kind of sounds like a bisexual person's sexual history is more implicit than a straight person's. Maybe because bisexuality is less common than heterosexuality, it causes people to think more about what that suggests? A homoerotic little pile of secrets. But enough talk. Have at you!
I am so glad you posted this, many lesbians will not date a Bi girl for exactly the same reason! Silly from any point of view......look at the current Ashley Madison debacle. No guarantees in life no matter what your orientation.
So many men have the attitude "it's not cheating if its with a woman!" This really gets under my skin because it completely devalues the love between 2 woman, and is against marriage equality. Also, my bf said that to me when we got together then he got upset when I kissed a girl...:bang: he just wanted the fantasy and he's terrified I'll leave him for a woman. ( makes coming out to him that much harder)
Bisexuality in general is viewed as a threat to Sexual Orientation and Identity. Heterosexuals and Homosexuals both have an interest in establishing and maintaining their sexual identity and orientation. There is an interest in their part to establish this not only at the individual level but extends at the collective level (those who are of intimate relation to them i.e. their partner). Heterosexuals and Homosexuals need each other because they seem to reinforce this need to delineate, establish and define Sexuality. Heterosexuals view Homosexuals as the denotation of any term is always dependent on what is exterior to it or simply the opposite of Heterosexuality. Another aspect of this mutual reciprocity is that Heterosexuals need Homosexuals to exorcise them of any possibility of same-sex desires. In simple terms Heterosexuals need Homosexuals. In this view however Heterosexuals don't need bisexuals because they are seen as a threat to stabilization of sexual orientation and identity. Bisexuals make it impossible for heterosexuals to definitively prove their heterosexuality. Bisexuals do not reinforce the need for heterosexuals to exorcise themselves of the possibility of same-sex desires. This leads heterosexuals to take a different view of bisexuals.
Because so many people don't take bisexuals seriously. People think all bi girls are mostly straight girls who want to be a bit different and might be up for a threesome, and that bi guys are really gay but struggling to come out of the closet.