How Was This Past Month?

Filled with ups and downs, good moments and bad moments.

As is life.

 

Tons of seemingly good job opportunities that fizzled out. More bad luck.

 

Pretty okay. Uni started again, started sign language classes, spent time with my girlfriend.

 

I'd rather not share many details, but this month has probably been one of the worst months of my entire life. Not exaggerating at all.

 

Lots of downs with the possibility of big ups in the future. They'd better be coming soon because my sanity is hanging by a thread.

 

It's been pretty good for me. The worst thing that happend was having my grandparents over...

 

Super crazy.

I went on a vacation to two different continents, went home for about a week and a half, and just moved to South Korea yesterday. So that's pretty intense...

but I'm loving it!!!

 

Well, It looks like I'm not going to get the job I wanted, But on the flip side, I got a new camera that I really wamted and it's been working great.

 

I went to Prague, which I'd been dreaming of for years. That's the highlight of my month.
This past week has been a bit more unpleasant, unfortunately.

 

Anxious, worried about being homeless next month

 

Went on holidays to Tenerife after that used a Christmas present to stay in a hotel in a place called Cavan and after that just lay about the house xddddd

 

My past month has been pretty eventful. Equal parts good and bad...

Good...
I went to Hong Kong for rest, relaxation, shopping and to drink. :icon_bigg My friends and I rented a Villa for the weekend and just went crazy wild. But overall it was a good thing for out friendship as we hadn't seen each other for a while. I converted to Protestantism coming from a minority Christian denomination. I shopped tons which is always a good thing in my book. I've been to a lot of social functions and have been clubbing a lot also.

Bad...
My best friend and I have for certain drifted apart. I don't think it is proper to call him a best friend anymore, maybe just a casual friend or someone I knew whence. I've had a lot of visits with my Psychiatrist. My mom found out that my dad has been flirting with other women again, he had a mistress once.

 

Nothing is completely uplifting for me. I have a friend here who I can chat with who lets me get away for a bit, but other than that, it's constant stress and irritation, being around people that clearly do not like me and who fight almost 24/7. I'm gonna take off today, even though I was asked not to. I don't feel like helping people out who don't give 2 craps about me. I keep telling them about my birthday and not that it's of major importance but dare I be excited for anything because their drama is so major and need to be in the center spotlight. Normally it wouldn't bother me but I really do want to have a big party this year. I want to have fun and as a little self centered as it sounds, have a day that's mine.

I don't know if I'm having a breaking point kind of day but I kinda feel like I am. I'm tired of making other people feel special and wanted and amazing while I'm left here, feeling like crap, because the people around me in real life either think that I can take their heat or they point fingers at me when someone else is doing something wrong and there just comes a point where I get sick of it. I don't feel like fighting. I don't feel like being angry. I don't feel like being mad over being blamed for something I didn't do or something that's out of my control. I just want to be happy and I feel like I have a long way to reach that.

 

I Finished Neurology and move on to Anesthesiology and Emergency Medicine which is my last module for this semester. The topic is super fun and interesting but the death rate is way higher than the previous department. Schedule is more hectic and they demand you to be on top of the game every single second.

I have a BF now even though i'm still pretty much in the closet, and already come out to about 5 people and i got only 1 non-supportive and rather hostile reply, but the rest of them are pretty accepting (yes its still a small amount of people but i consider it a pretty good start)

 

It's been pretty good so far, could have been better though.

 

My month has been pretty good. Started a new job-ish thing, went to Norway to visit family, had a brief visit from my grandmother, and got to know new people.
Sure, there were some downers as well, but I'm trying my best to focus on the good

 

It started with tons of fun because it was the end of my school winter vacation. I went to the beach with some friends and I guess we've gotten closer to each other. I also managed to drive on the road without any problem. But after August started it really wasn't that fun anymore. It can be so boring there. At least I haven't given up on the gym yet.

 

Overall? It was okay.
There were lots of ups and lots of downs and depression and anxiety. But overall it's not bad.
Bad things:
-anxiety for high school, social anxiety
-depression
-I caused a fight between my girlfriend and I because I was depressed.
-I had suicidal thoughts, anxiety attacks and broke my promise to not self harm

Good things
-painting my room
-had the most awesome sleepover with my girlfriend and we made up from the fight
-everyone I told about depression was very supportive
-I'm getting an out of school counsellor.

 

Shit