What I mean by "genetics" in this thread is stuff about you that you have no control over. Even stuff that is environmental or temporary. Saying genetics flows better than saying stuff you have no control over. Some examples are your natural appearance, age, mental issues, disability, sexual orientation and sex. I hate being defined by that type of stuff, but I don't mind being defined by stuff I control. An example would be wearing glasses. Needing glasses wasn't my choice, but I did pick my glasses frames. I don't want to be defined as a "glasses wearer", but I don't mind if people somewhat judge me because of the frames I chose. I wear cat eye glasses. Some people may think I'm a crazy feminist or social justice warrior. Another example is identifying as queer. I don't want to be defined by exactly who I'm attracted to. Since I really hate heteronormativity I choose to identify with the queer community.
o. o I'm not sure I understand... :icon_sad: I'm defined by the things I choose to like because of my gender. I.E. I like comic books, video games, booze, and extreme sports. Because I'm female and I like these things, society defines me as a Tom Boy or Geeky. I don't consider myself any of these things. I feel like I am more defined by what I choose or have grown to love because it opposes my genetics on a societal level. But at that point, loving something can't really be helped, so would that be something we can't choose as well? But I think this is true for everyone who defines their gender normality to any degree.
Well, I feel this everyday being trans, with society expecting me to be a masculine man and a man in general when I am not, and with my parents saying I can't be a "real woman" for liking "boys things"; so I know the feeling.
That's what I figured you meant, but I'm still not sure I understand. ^^ I don't believe I am personally defined by the traits I didn't choose. Not to my knowledge anyway. I think that's the part I'm not understanding. ^^'
Ok. I guess you're pretty lucky. Most people are defining me by the traits I didn't choose. It's pretty hurtful, even if they're complimenting me on them. I'd rather be complimented on the way I dress and present myself than my natural appearance. People also like to call me young for some reason. Maybe that's all they see when they look at me.
I think it's probably because of the problems I talk about. I had some emotional trauma at fourteen, so I'm emotionally fourteen. Most of these people don't know what I look like. They just like to call me "very young." I'm 19. I don't think that's very young.
Oooo. Well my mother is similar in that regard. She had emotional trauma as well when she was young and often times she acts like an 11 year old. ^- ^ I know that doesn't sound reassuring, but despite the fact that she has these problems it doesn't mean she's not an adult! I think it's important to remember that how someone else defines you isn't how you have to define yourself. They may say you seem 'very young', but you don't have to feel that way if you don't want to. And I think that's the best part. That regardless of your genetics, you can choose to defy them. :}
I have a serious balance problem caused by the benign tumours in my brain. No, I don't just walk with a cane to get a seat on the train, no, I'm not lying, and no, I'm not too young to need a cane, thanks random strangers.
I suppose I am? Especially since my sister and I can be considered 'smart'. We've gone to the same schools ever since young. She's two years older then me, so she's in junior college now, but she's always been in the best classes since young, while I've always been in the worse classes. She's the type who studies till her brain dies, while I'm the type who takes my time and is only motivated when I want something, so my mom keeps comparing the two of us, every day. The worse though, was when my mom told me this: "Face it, you have the same genes as your sister; you should be smarter, too." It didn't hurt, but I was shocked. I'm also smart in my own way-I just don't like studying, that's why she said that. I suppose your talking about this subject?
Completely understand you. I wear contacts to avoid being judged for wearing glasses - I look better without them too. Everyone who knows my parents - that's not an overstatement at all - say I look "just like my dad", because I have naturally tan/olive skin, broad shoulders and a strong face. At least they don't doubt that I'm strong, I guess.
If I understand you right. I hate being called twitchy or a weirdo because of quirks and weird behaviour patterns caused by my mental illness.
Ohhh yes lol People often tell me that I look mean or intimidating because I'm such a big person (I'm 5'10 and very overweight). I'm defined as the "giant woman", but it usually doesn't drive me too nuts lol
