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Would you date someone who didn't give you butterflies?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by the haunted, Aug 31, 2015.

  1. the haunted

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    About a week ago I broke up with my girlfriend because she just didn't give me butterflies. I've felt nervous around her numerous times in the beginning, but no butterflies or googly eyes. She's a great person and I like being with her and being physical with her. Everything was fine otherwise, but I ended it.

    Would you continue to date someone who didn't give you butterflies? Do you consider it a necessary part of falling in love?
     
  2. Andrew99

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    I don't really know I never really thought about it. I think I would actually kind of like someone who didn't give me butterflies.
     
  3. XenaxGabby

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    Having butterflies is a sign of attraction. When we are attracted to someone, we want to date them or just be around them. Without the butterflies all you have is a possible friendship.

    No I wouldn't.
     
  4. rudysteiner

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    I wouldn't date someone who gave me butterflies, but then I wouldn't date someone who made me nervous.
     
  5. Linus

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    Butterflies means being nervous. So is that all dating is? just the thrill of a roller coaster, and then it's over? I was going to date someone, I'd want it to be someone I'm comfortable with. Sure, I don't mind the butterflies, at first; but I don't feel they're essential.
     
  6. Weregild

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    No I wouldn't (except for money of course haha).

    There's a clear difference between being around someone who gives you butterflies, and someone who makes you feel anxious: in the first case it's usually very rewarding to interact with them, whereas I feel anxious around people who I should fear or who make me feel bad about myself.

    Another reason why I wouldn't date someone who doesn't give me butterflies: I'd feel like I would be lying to them and wasting our time.
     
    #6 Weregild, Aug 31, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2015
  7. rudysteiner

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    Sorry.. Typo in my original post.

    It's meant to say: 'I wouldn't date someone who didn't give me butterflies, but I wouldn't date someone who made me nervous.'

    I think there's a huge difference between someone who gives you butterflies and someone who makes you nervous. To me, getting butterflies is feeling like you're about to float away up in the air and you get a funny feeling in your legs because they feel like jelly, but then as soon as you begin speaking to them properly, you feel like you're at home. You feel like you belong when you're speaking to that person. That person, to you, is your own happiness personified.
     
  8. blueshadedsoul

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    I don't think I would be really in love with someone if they didn't give me butterflies? So nah, not really.
     
  9. loveislove01

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    I've been dating my girlfriend for six months, and even when I had a huge crush on her, there were no butterflies. They lasted maybe a month, because the relationship was new and in the "honeymoon phase" type of thing. I totally plan on dating her as long as we can go. I don't want to leave her, because I really love her. To me personally, love is more than butterflies. It's a combination of loyalty, trust, friendship, and mutual physical/emotional attraction.
     
  10. Phioo

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    I don't want butterflies ya freaks.
     
  11. RainbowGreen

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    No, it'd feel forced. But at the same time, there are only three people in my life who have given me butterflies. I wish my butterflies would happen more often :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  12. PumpkinSpice

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    No I wouldn't because I'd never be serious about the relationship. I'd just be using them til someone who gave me butterflies came along and I wouldn't feel very good about myself if I did that :/
     
  13. brainwashed

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    Ya I'd go on 1 to 5 dates, if that's called dating someone. Butterflys usually start after 1 to 3 dates so I'd be looking for them.
     
  14. CyanChachki

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    If not butterflies, I would have to have some kind of attraction for them. I know that sounds extremely shallow but I just can't find it in me to be with someone who I don't think is attractive.
     
  15. CodeForLife

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    I'm not sure if butterflies are a good indicator. I get kind of nervous around anyone that I have a possible relationship attraction with. It's not the same type of butterflies as when you have to speak in front of a crowd though. It's more of like, I hope I don't make a fool of myself since I don't want to lose a friend kind of thing. I say this with basically zero dating experience, so take that for what it's worth.
     
  16. sporn

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    I don't get butterflies for anyone, so I guess I would.
     
  17. RawringSnake

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    [​IMG]
     
    #17 RawringSnake, Sep 1, 2015
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  18. Berru

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    I think I read somewhere that the butterflies are a result of slight heart arythmia or that the heart is beating faster or something, due to nervousness and an overflow of various chemicals in the brains.

    That being said, I don't think I'd initiate a relationship with someone who didn't give me butterflies at least when kissing, but I would definitely stay in one.
    Why?
    Because as our brain becomes accostumed to the drugs, we won't be getting the butterflies anymore, no matter how attracted one is to the other person.
    I wouldn't wanna throw away something great just because the relationship is no longer in the honeymoon phase. Been there, done that.
     
  19. blaziken25

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    Yes; and here is my reasoning.
    I suffer from serious anxiety disorder and the last time I got the butterflies I was violently ill.
    I am now on medication and no longer get the butterflies :grin: So yes - I would date someone if they didn't give me butterflies.
     
  20. ModernCat

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    I only get huge butterflies around crushes whom I'm not friends with.
    When crushing on a friend, I might get a little awkward and nervous but not so much as feeling "butterflies".

    So yes; the butterfly feelings aren't always essential. However it is essential when it comes to dating people that I'm not close to (yet), as it would be my only real indicator of any attraction in that case. Hope I made sense.
     
    #20 ModernCat, Sep 1, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 1, 2015