1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Girls: Would you date another woman who suffers from mild-moderate Social Anxiety?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by ChloeKiss, Sep 3, 2015.

  1. ChloeKiss

    ChloeKiss Guest

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2014
    Messages:
    1,257
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Queensland, Australia
    This has been on my mind a bit lately.. I'm worried that I won't find the girl of my dreams because I could end up disappointing her in areas like not wanting to go out a lot and being scared of certain situations. These days I'm a lot better and most people wouldn't think I have social anxiety.. But in a relationship I'm just worried that it might turn a girl off from the idea of dating me. The fact that I've struggled with this for so long truly does make me nervous about my future relationships!

    I'm a nice, warm, confident and sophisticated girl in certain situations though.. So it's not all bad! I guess I just worry because I want my future girlfriend to always see me at me best. So women of EC.. Would dating an ''attractive girl'' with social anxiety be a problem for you? I'd love to read all your opinions!

    Thanks! x
     
  2. mc09

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2015
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Southern Cali
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Re: Girls: Would you date another woman who suffers from mild-moderate Social Anxiety

    To be honest, it wouldn't bug me at all. Some people like to go out all the time. And there's nothing wrong with that. Just like there's nothing wrong if some people want to stay in. Personally, I'd much rather have a night in cooking dinner and watching a movie. Going out every once in a while wouldn't be bad. However, it's not something I prefer.

    Face it, we're not always going to be at our best. There are going to be moments when we are going to be at our worst. And there's nothing wrong with that at all. If a person really wants to be with you they'll stick with you when you are at your worst. If a person can't handle you at your worst, then they don't deserve to be with you at your best!
     
  3. Aspen

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2014
    Messages:
    1,470
    Likes Received:
    239
    Location:
    Ohio
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Re: Girls: Would you date another woman who suffers from mild-moderate Social Anxiety

    If she's right for you, she'll understand and help you work through it. I have pretty severe social anxiety and so does my girlfriend. Ours manifests in different ways; for instance, I've only eaten dinner at her house twice in two years together because the idea of eating in front of people turns my stomach.

    An important part of dating is remembering that, in a true long-lasting relationship, neither person will always be at their best. It's how you both deal with those moments that counts.
     
  4. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2015
    Messages:
    2,802
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Far above the clouds, gazing deep below the Earth
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Re: Girls: Would you date another woman who suffers from mild-moderate Social Anxiety

    Not 100% sure I can date girls. But if I can, that wouldn't be a big turn-off. :slight_smile:
    <3
     
  5. sporn

    sporn Guest

    Re: Girls: Would you date another woman who suffers from mild-moderate Social Anxiety

    If she's still interesting and exciting I wouldn't mind.
     
  6. kageshiro

    kageshiro Guest

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2012
    Messages:
    655
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    in your soul
    Re: Girls: Would you date another woman who suffers from mild-moderate Social Anxiety

    Yes
     
  7. CameronMR

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2015
    Messages:
    303
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Kootenays
    Re: Girls: Would you date another woman who suffers from mild-moderate Social Anxiety

    Of course, I would be a loving supportive girlfriend, just like she would have to be loving and supportive of me and my issues. (anxiety stemming from PTSD)
     
  8. loveislove01

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2015
    Messages:
    872
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Earth, probably
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Re: Girls: Would you date another woman who suffers from mild-moderate Social Anxiety

    I have mild social anxiety and a girlfriend who knows and doesn't mind at all. Personally for me, I would definitely date someone who does. It's in no-way a turn off for me, and I'm the same way.
     
  9. Berru

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2015
    Messages:
    525
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Viking territory
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Re: Girls: Would you date another woman who suffers from mild-moderate Social Anxiety

    I would, anxiety doesn't define an entire person, and if there were other aspects to her personality that interested me, I'd give it a go.

    I do have one criteria though: she has to try. I know it's hard´to try sometimes and that it might sound rough, but I wouldn't want to date someone who didn't at least try to get help for and/or get rid of the anxiety.
    Everybody has problems, what's important to me is that we don't wallow in them and try to do our best to lessen them.

    Like I said, I know if might sounds rough or even cynical, but I really do not mean it that way.

    I've dated a lot of people with anxiety-like issues, and some of them were very reluctant to do anything about them, while more than happy to let the issues limit them, us, and me.
    It gets awfully tiring in the long run, and it doesn't feel very giving to do/give everything for a person who is unwilling to do/give anything for themselves.

    That being said... Nobody is perfect. I wouldn't turn down someone if they told me they had issues, everybody has issues. Including me.
     
  10. xxCHAOTIC

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2015
    Messages:
    136
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Michigan, USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Re: Girls: Would you date another woman who suffers from mild-moderate Social Anxiety

    I am basically completely nuts (bipolar+borderline). I'm anxious, paranoid, depressed, hyper, angry, in a never ending, quickly cycling whirlwind of unstable emotions when I'm not being treated. I only got into good treatment this year. I've had no problem finding people who are understanding of this. Both for friendship and for relationships. There is hope out there for you. I've found people who struggle with mental health find each other just like many people who are LGBT happen to group together. Basically if anyone in my social group is straight, they have a mental illness of some variety. If they don't, they're LGBT.

    So many LGBT people, unfortunately, are very familiar with the problems that anxiety and depression present. So many of us have been through it because, as my therapist puts it, "people are kinda shitty." Just be open and honest with whatever girl catches your fancy. If you're not comfortable "coming out" as having a mental illness, you can just put it in simpler terms. You're very shy, you're an introvert, you are the type of girl who prefers to have stay-at-home dates versus going out to a club. If they have a problem with it, they're not for you anyway. I'll bet chances are they won't though.

    Also, adding I absolutely would date someone with any disorder. Hell I'm more comfortable with people who have some kind of mental struggle than those without. I feel like I'm more likely to relate to one another and know how to support one another. Especially now that I'm in recovery.
     
    #10 xxCHAOTIC, Sep 3, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2015
  11. Browncoat

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2011
    Messages:
    4,053
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Zefram Cochrane's hometown.
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Re: Girls: Would you date another woman who suffers from mild-moderate Social Anxiety

    I know you phrased it toward women, but as someone with SAD I would be totally fine with and maybe even prefer dating another person with social anxiety to varying degrees. Regardless of supposed attractiveness or gender.
     
  12. the haunted

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2014
    Messages:
    789
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    United States
    Re: Girls: Would you date another woman who suffers from mild-moderate Social Anxiety

    I could give it a fair try. If I'm going to be candid here, I would probably get annoyed with it eventually. I love nights out with a group of friends. If my girl wasn't down to join us most of the time, I'd be salty about it.

    But I am literally annoyed all the time. All. The. Time.
     
    #12 the haunted, Sep 3, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2015
  13. Weregild

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2015
    Messages:
    527
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Brazil
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Re: Girls: Would you date another woman who suffers from mild-moderate Social Anxiety

    Yes, but I'm not much better.
     
  14. Lin1

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2015
    Messages:
    1,336
    Likes Received:
    531
    Location:
    somewhere over the rainbow
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Re: Girls: Would you date another woman who suffers from mild-moderate Social Anxiety

    I would have no problem with it as long as she would be willing to try like Berru said. I would not mind the anxiety but I would mind being limited by it and while understanding I would start to find it a burden if my girlfriend wasn't ready to try and make an effort from time to time, not that it would be easy but I believe it would be a nice proof of love on her part and would make me even more willing to support her on down days etc... (which I would naturally do anyway.) :slight_smile:
     
  15. biAnnika

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2011
    Messages:
    1,839
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Northeastern US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Re: Girls: Would you date another woman who suffers from mild-moderate Social Anxiety

    I guess I just don't believe in deal-breakers...so I don't understand most of these kinds of questions. Sure I might say I'd never intentionally date an unrepentant murderer. But even that could be moderated if I understood the rationale.

    I'm certainly not *looking* for someone with mild to moderate social anxiety any more than I'm looking for someone with mild to moderate warts. But like with warts, if I met someone and started falling in love with them and started to fall in love with them, it's not like I'd say "omg, they have moderate social anxiety...better break this off pronto!"
     
    #15 biAnnika, Sep 3, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2015
  16. blaziken25

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2014
    Messages:
    428
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New Zealand
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Re: Girls: Would you date another woman who suffers from mild-moderate Social Anxiety

    Well yeah. I am autistic so the correct question I should be asking is "Who would date me?" :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  17. Andrew99

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2013
    Messages:
    3,402
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Milwaukee
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Re: Girls: Would you date another woman who suffers from mild-moderate Social Anxiety

    Yea probably.
     
  18. Kaiser

    Kaiser Guest

    Joined:
    May 10, 2014
    Messages:
    2,867
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    кєηтυ¢ку
    Re: Girls: Would you date another woman who suffers from mild-moderate Social Anxiety

    Sure.

    We all weren't dealt a perfect hand, is what I try and keep in mind.

    That said, it comes down to this: whatever you have, if you start using it as an excuse or an escape from responsibility or controlling me, we're going to have a problem.

    I can deal with you being uncomfortable, it happens -- personally, I dislike being somewhere I cannot sit at the edge or close to an exit, it makes me a little tense -- but try, even if a little. It shows you're wanting to improve things and respect/love yourself enough to be a part of more. If I like you enough, I'll stick it out with you. After all, I'm basically giving you my confidence.

    We already got our individual problems coming into this relationship, let's try and remedy those, so we can get on with having a kick ass life.
     
  19. ChloeKiss

    ChloeKiss Guest

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2014
    Messages:
    1,257
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Queensland, Australia
    Re: Girls: Would you date another woman who suffers from mild-moderate Social Anxiety

    Perfect answers! Thank you all so much! I read every single one of those replies. So positive!

    Actually.. I do want to add a little reply to Berru and all the others who would like to see their partner fight to get better.. That's exactly what I've been doing lately! I have enrolled in my Diploma Of Beauty Therapy course and I start the course on Monday. I also am researching good foods for mental health/stress relief to ease the affects of my anxiety. Over the years I can say that I've been a good fighter of this mental problem.. I guess in that regard my future girlfriend would really appreciate if not feel touched by that!

    Thanks again! x
     
  20. Pret Allez

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2012
    Messages:
    6,785
    Likes Received:
    67
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Re: Girls: Would you date another woman who suffers from mild-moderate Social Anxiety

    Ohhh sweetie! (*hug*)

    I can relate to your feelings. I would date a person like you. We all have our boundaries set at different places, and I can be sympathetic to people having more restrictive boundaries. We all need to feel safe. (*hug*) I'd be patient with my partner if she or he had concerns.

    ~ Adrienne