Guys I wanted to post this because I need help and I would be very grateful for any advice. Okay so around a year and I quarter ago I became in love with a straight boy in my school, he is a 14 year old straight boy now, he is so cute and hot, his beautiful blue eyes, perfect white smile, a hot six pack and quite nice hair, really understanding and quite funny sometimes. I had became in love with him and with every day I became more and more in love, I would find myself staring at him in class just instantly not paying attention in class sometimes. We have known each other for about 3 years because me and him are now in year 10 in the UK (not know what it is in other countries sorry), well rumors went round that I fancied him but I denied it because people aren't very considerate of other people and I knew if I admitted it I would get bullied about it again and I didn't want it to get the rumor to get back to him but the rumor got back to his girlfriend, she confronted me and asked about if I fancy him, she was very supportive which was a suprise about it though saying how its okay and all and she supported me everything until the last day of year 9 when I think to myself if I don't tell him now I probably won't get the same chance again so he comes over to me in private and I tell him that I fancy him and that I have done for a while and he says its okay but that he doesn't like me in that way but likes me as a friend. So now I'm back in school even though he is fine with it I wanna talk to him and become closer to him but except for my coming out to him we haven't really talked to each in the 3 years I had known him so I don't rlly know how to even start talking to him without feeling awkward and I rlly just wanna become closer to him but I rlly don't know how to talk to him now, and I'm rlly self conscious about what he thinks of me and I'm not very social so I don't know what to do, please help (And please don't post "Just try and forget him", thank you :newcolor:
I don't think it's healthy for either of you to become "closer" until you have gotten over your infatuation towards him. Given the way you describe your feelings for him, I don't think you have the emotional maturity to disassociate your desire to be with him romantically from your desire to be with him as a friend (if that's really what you want). Approaching him under the pretense of "getting to know each other better" while secretly harboring the hope that something more may happen between you two could have the unintended effect of making him feel manipulated or deceived, and things could turn really ugly if that came to happen. He turned you down, he is straight, he has a girlfriend; it's not gonna happen. Until you internalize this and truly accept that he is not for you, getting closer to him will only exacerbate your infatuation while running the risk of coming across as disingenuous (whether you mean it that way or not). If or when all you really care about is being friends with him and you are sure you have no ulterior motives (consciously or otherwise),then you should go ahead and strike a convo, same way you did when you told him you fancy him. Make sure to clarify from the get go that you are not trying to seduce him or seeking anything beyond a strictly platonic bond and if he wants to be your friend too you should have no problem continuing the conversation from that point on. Good luck.
Nice, straight guy! That's very mature for 10 year old, really. All I can tell you is to not stay around him too much otherwise the crush is never going leeeeeeeave.
They are in year 10 so I believe that they're 14-15 years old. Anyway, back to the topic. I understand that you have an intense crush with this boy but although you said that you wouldn't want the "just try and forget about him" advise, I think it is for the best that you do exactly that. I don't think you would ever forget him because it seems that you like him very much but what you can do is wean yourself away from the romantic thoughts you harbour for this friend of yours. He has made it explicitly clear that he doesn't feel the same way but he also told you that he likes you as a friend which I think is very accepting and nice of him. Take some time off to cool down and focus your energies on things that would improve your skills or do something for the community. This is a means to divert your attention to something productive. You're young and still full of life. Don't spend that youth chasing a boy who might never love you back the way you do. It's painful and hard to do but accepting that reality now will lessen the pain and you would be glad that you did. For as long as you try to win his attention or "get to know him better", you might be depriving other people your time. Try to keep your doors open for new people. There might be others out there who are wanting to get to know you too. I think you're too young for serious relationships but I'm not against the idea that you might meet someone today who will be your partner later on in life. Goodluck!
First off thank you for replying to my post and thank you for the nice advice But right now forgetting him seems impossible, but I'll try but k can't guarantee it will happen
Thank you for replying to my post and for the advice just wanted to say when I said I was in year 10 I meant year 10 in secondary school or high school so i am 15 and the guy is 14
So, I'm female and waaaaaaay older than you, but I had a similar experience. I fell in love with my friend almost ten years ago. I never told her, but we became closer and closer until I fooled myself into thinking maybe she was in love with me too. I came out to her this year and finally told her, after all this time. But she's straight, and staying that way. Now, I'm devastated. I invested ten years of my life loving her in a way that would only bring me pain. We are still friends, and it still hurts because I want her in a different way. Like you say, I can't just forget her and make it go away. But that's because she's a major part of my life. She's godmother to my kid, we are best friends and all the people in our lives know that. But he's not your good friend - yet. So, don't make him on.e Do yourself a BIG favor. Stay away from him. Don't be his friend. Get through school and find other friends, maybe find a boyfriend that wants to be with you instead. Because this will only end badly for you, and you probably already know that. And slowly, then, you wil be able to forget him. Good luck.
I'm in year 11 and I just recently got over my crush on one of my straight best friends. Believe me I know it sucks. It took me about 5-7 months to get over. I got over it when I really thought about why I liked him. I realized that it was cause 1) he's hot as shit 2) he's nice and funny. But I realized that if my feelings for him weren't just from a sex-driven teenage hormonal crush, if I truly cared about him i would want him to be happy. And he couldn't be happy with me. At least not like that. It's hard. It doesn't happen right away. You've got to train yourself to stop fantasizing about him in class or whenever you see him. Don't check him out, look him right in the eyes. Don't ever hit on him. And try to distance yourself just a little. Not too much but enough. I hope this helps. Sucks to love straight guys:bang:
Hey guys I'm 15 and i also fell in love on my straight friend. Reasons maybe because he tickles me very often, chases me, we go home together, damn hot, six pack abs, attractive nipples, tall, he's funny, mysterious, he makes me happy and he's older than me for about 7 months... :eusa_danc But my feelings grew more when we went to our school dance thingy. We did a lot of things together. Things like accidental holding hands, sitting on his lap, dancing like crazy, smiling at each other, whispering at me coz the sound is too loud, and we walked to home at the middle of the night debating about math and science. :icon_redf :icon_sad: But I never told him about my feelings, I can't look at him in the eyes anymore. My heart pounded like hell, I can't speak, I do dumb and crazzzy things around him... :icon_redf :icon_redf :icon_redf Then we moved here in Italy... I'm disappointed coz I'm not able to tell him my feelings. That hurt me so much. :tears: Falling in love with a straight guy is so hard but gladly I finally got over him... :eusa_clap (!) Good luck with you my friend, just distract yourself with more productive stuff like studying or try to have an interesting hobby... :smilewave (!)
