Suddenly my parents are now saying that they are thinking that they are going to restrict my screen times, my dad has never mentioned this ever before and now my stepmom has brought it up (and he still wonders why I don't like her). I am really upset about this. My dad has been telling me over the past few weeks that he wants to make us a happy family and for it to all be better (me and my stepmom never speak and I don't like her etc.) but now this is going to make it ten times worse. He wants me to like my stepmom, now I hate her even more than ever. They say that for every extra hour spent on screens, you grade goes down one or something. But incase they haven't noticed, I have really good grades in every single class and in some of them, I have achieved they highst Mark possible!! My grades are NOT suffering. Ive always had had unrestricted unlimited access on my tablet whenever I want and it has really helped me. For one, I can go on empty closets (my parents don't actually know I'm on here as im not out to them) and it's the only place where I can talk and ask questions freely. Being on here has really helped me a lot because Ive been so confused over the last few months to the point where I'm feeling like I'm going crazy and being online talking to other people in my situation has really helped and if they do this restriction, they'll ever be taking that away from me. I'll have no one to turn to when I need to talk about something that I'm not comfortable with talking to my parents about. Both my mom and most of my family and friends live half way across the world from me and the Internet and social media is the only place I can communicate with them. When I'm feeling nervous, anxious or depressed, I can just go online and speak to them and others but if I'm not allowed, then who can I talk to? I also feel that because I'm allowed all of this access, I feel a lot more wiser. I'm always up to date with the news, if I have a question about puberty or sexuality or anything like that, I can search it up and get an answer. I also watch a lot of science based videos on YouTube like Vsauce that really educate me. I feel like without the internet, I am kept in the dark. I have a friend (who is bi) and her parents are very restricting and she is pretty clueless on a lot of this, especially lgbt stuff and the lgbt community. The Internet really opens up my mind and stuff and I am a lot more aware. My dad says he wants me to be more happier at home but if he does this, I won't be happy! Th Internet allows me to escape from everyone at home (mostly my stepmom). I don't know what to do?! My dad hasn't imposed this rule yet (only one hour of screens a day, including TV) and I haven't given my argument yet (all the reasons for). I feel so helpless, I'm already confused enough about my sexuality. Now he is taking away all the information and answers.
Wow, that's pretty ignorant. If your grades are fine, I see no need to impose restrictions on screen time. You've brought up a good list of positives, like being updated on the news, which I 100% agree with. Personally, I am on "screens" for many hours a day, and I have very high grades and do all my homework ahead of time. So long as it isn't interfering with anything, I don't understand why he should limit your time. You should try to reason with him.
Well I know one backhanded sheming way to get your sceen time back, but it'd take some time and require you to self-sabotage which I'd never recommend. If his rationale is "better grades" If you stopped doing well in school until he gave you your screen time back that'd likely adjust his attitude, but yeah that does too much harm. What I recommend in all honesty is to talk to him about this. I'd first bring up the fact that your grades are great and him taking away your screen time is only going to hurt your grades not help them. I'd tell him that you use it for your studies, and always have and maybe even show him some of those vsauce videos about scientific stuff and just explain that you like learning about new things. As for the whole "Be happy" that sounds like he's trying to force something that just isn't going to happen. He can't do anything to change your view of your stepmom, only you and your stepmom can do that. I don't know why you dislike her. If it's one of those "Not my real mom" things than I'd say loosen up and give her a chance, but if it's anything like my experience with step parents where they were literally horrible human beings than I'd say just keep your distance, and tell him that if he likes her that's great, but you don't and won't so he needs to let it go and just let everyone be happy.
I've got the highest grades of my family but don't go on 'screens' a lot each day - only when I feel like it (and I don't feel like it much). I'm the only one whose time on these screens has never been restricted - both of my brothers have had restrictions, but because their grades weren't and aren't stellar. Ultimately, I think it's up to your attitude and motivation to learning. Restrictions should only really be applied when it is clear it's having a detrimental effect. I'm allowed to have days where I pig out and am constantly watching, placing or browsing something, but only because my parents know that I don't do this a lot and that I'm not going to start doing it consistently. Maybe this, in some fashion, relates to some people?
Honestly, spending too much time on the web/playing video games (unless the excess is because of studying/research) is not really a good thing.
To be honest, I would probably comply. Parents of 14 year old children tend to have a genuine reason to be concerned about technology addiction and wasting time watching TV or playing games. If you can limit your screentime to a computer, I doubt you'll be significantly worse-off. On top of that, being churlish about your stepmother and spending little time with your family probably drives a massive wedge between your father and her. It's understandable that they'd want to have you be more sociable and more interactive. And unless you have a good reason not to like her, I think they're probably acting more or less in your best interest. Grades are important, yes, but your father probably values your time and your attention more.
I don't really see a reason for your dad to restrict screen time. Only 1 hour a day? As a teen, I'd go mad too. I used to have those restrictions, but I never did follow them, and now I don't have any. Anyway, as you said, screen time doesn't affect your studies at all, but boosts them. Your father is probably worried about you being 'affected', negatively especially, on the internet. I'm not sure how 'corrupted' you are, but at the same time, using the internet is a source for very...unpleasant, should I say? Experiences. From what you said, I think your dad simply wants you to interact with your stepmom. Less internet=more family time. I think that's what he's aiming for, especially since your grades are quite good. Why don't you get along with your stepmom? Is it simply a she's not my mom thing, or you just can't get along? There are many reasons as to why you can't get along, but it requires effort on both parts. I think you should sit down with your father to talk about this. Firstly, if he thinks that less internet allows for more family interaction, you should talk to him. Ask for the reason as to why he's restricting your screen time. If he says it's because of grades, bring evidence that being on the internet doesn't affect your grades in the slightest. Or you can strike a deal with him-until your next test/exam, only have 1 hour of screen time per day, and you can compare your results from when you had unlimited screen time. If it drops, screen time is good for you. If it remains the same, then there's no difference, so screen time is perfectly fine. You need to back up your arguments with evidence, and from what I can tell, you're perfectly good at doing that. Next, talk to him about your stepmom. If you really can't get along-not for the 'she's not my mom reason', then sit down, and talk to him about that. Explain how you guys can't get along, the reason is as simple as that. You need to try to understand his side of the argument, of why he's restricting your screen time, and why he's pushing you so hard to get along with your stepmom. Understand that him trying to get you to get along with your stepmom is a normal occurrence-all would want that. But you need to understand his POV, and make him understand yours, too. In the end all that I can think of is really to sit down and talk. It really sounds like a communication breakdown, to me. Between your father and yourself. Good luck with that.
My parents have said things like that before, and I've had to go along with it for a while, but they always stop caring. If they put a web filter or something on your router that only allows you on the internet at certain times or whatever there are always ways around it. You just have to find the way. My parents had a thing like that on our router but one of my siblings figured out how to bypass it. They never even knew we were getting past it. After a while, we got a new router and this one didn't have that type of program so they just gave up. A few years ago, my parents only allowed me one hour of screen time per day. This was before I had a laptop. I would use up my hour playing videogames on the family PC, and then if I wanted to I would go into my room and use the ipod I bought for as long as I wanted. The first few times they got mad, but after a while they stopped caring. A while ago they really stopped caring altogether and now I can have as much screen time as I wish.
You'll be 18 one day - just wait it out. I think there should come a point, though, when your parents start treating you more like an adult and allow you to decide for yourself how much time you spend on your iPad, much like setting your own bedtimes.
Almost the same thing happened to me, when I was a little older than you. What I did was switch to books. They can't get mad at you for it, because any and all studies say reading is good for you. And in the long run they see that if you don't want to be involved in family things, you won't be, one way or other. I can understand the stepmom issue, I have issues with my dad and I found books to be an excellent escape. And in the end my parents saw that I was going to be off in my own little world, no matter what they did, so they removed the rule. If you go this route and need recommendations, let me know. I can give you some great books to read.
Regardless of your argument being that you have good grades or noting that you use the Internet for educational purposes — being on the Internet 24/7 isn't a good thing. There's a difference between being social on EC and actually having a social life. Instead of letting him impose the "1 hour rule" why don't you tell him that you're cutting back? I think he's just looking out for your best interests.
Lie! Lieing is always the right thing to do! Or murder! (This is sarcasm, don't kill people it's illegal. Don't lie either, it's not good) Unfortunatley, you're gonna have to do it. There are always ways around this like if you have a smartphone, just go on that while you're in bed after you've been sent to bed (it's what I do and it works), or if you're out to everyone at home, go out with a phone or tablet and do stuff you normally do on a park bench or something. It'l make you parents think you're out seeing friends and you get to avoid your stepmother and you get plenty of time on the internet.
Maybe you can work on a compromise? You can promise to eat more meals with your family without using your phone and talking to them instead. I think that would be reasonable.
