[Help] What Do You Do When Someone Asks if your Gay

Well I was asked a lot my freshman year too, but I wasn't ready then and so naturally I said I was not gay. But if you're comfortable with you're sexuality and you're comfortable telling the person who asked then go for it

 

That's the story of my life. Minus the 9th grade part. :lol:

 

I think it's perfectly normal. Even when you feel comfortable with yourself, exposing that part to others is pretty terrifying. It gets easier after the first time, but when you're ready to share it that first time you'll do it. Don't worry about it

 

Please don't beat yourself up for it, Travis. It takes some time getting adjusted no matter how proud you are.

 

If you really want them to know you are gay, pull them aside later when you won't freeze up and tell them you are gay. Sometimes, it's uncontrollable to take control of yourself properly in those moments when you freeze up, so don't stress about that. I know what those moments are like.

When I was in Year 9, I think I was asked only once and I just flatly said no and didn't make a big fuss in order to hide it better. Nowadays I'd just say yeah... can't be bothered hiding it.

 

Well, it doesn't happen often at all. When it does, I do get very red-faced and embarrassed, but I just say yes.

 

It's likely just the atmosphere usually surrounding being a freshman in highschool, which can be pretty dang awkward to begin with, coupled with being thrown off like that.

I'd bet that others who get asked this yet aren't gay probably would experience a degree of this 'freeze up'. I know that, as a more introvert type of person in the general public, that I would probably (and have before) reacted like this when someone does something like this that catches me off guard, even when it has no relation to me.

I feel for you Travis, because we know what that first year of high school can be capable of, but you at least seem like someone who'll get through just fine. Just remember that you don't owe such people any kind of insight unless you either feel the context is coming from a harmless standpoint and/or you just simply want to be truthful.

 

It's normal and you don't have to do anything that you're not comfortable in doing.

I don't really get asked often if I'm gay, because it's obvious. But in the rare case I do get asked — I don't lie about it. Then again I'm not in 9th grade, I would have lied about it then.

 

Highschool is often (or was often as things seem to be getting better) a horrible time for lgbt youth. Most people I know my age and older waited until after highschool to come out because they didn't need the daily harassment of everyone knowing.

It's normal to want to tell people you're straight so they think of you as normal. I did it long enough to know exactly why. We want to feel like a regular guy (or girl), not some freak.

With that said, if you know you're gay, are comfortable with it, and don't fear reprisal or for your safety, coming out may be a better option. Everyone will know the real you and you won't have to come out later on. As someone who basically lied about their sexuality for several years, it's hard not to feel like a liar in situations where it comes up when there's no need to be.

I really don't have an answer for you, just some food for thought.

 

During high school: no one ever asked me, i pass really well

During Pre med: No one asked buy several rumors spread, try suicide once. failed and i'm still alive and well... picking up the pieces of my life and ended up dating girls for several months just for their satisfaction, the rumor stopped until graduation still no one ask.

During Med-School (now): some people have the guts to ask me, but i'm neither confirm nor denying my orientation. I simply answer "why do you care so much? its none of your business anyway" or "i might be, what do you think? do you think i'm gay" usually their answer is no :lol:

I'm saying those is not because i'm not okay or comfortable with who i am. But the stigma of gay people are still exist, even in a hospital where i work where it supposed to be place where well educated people supposed to work, gay patient got 'special' treatment : separate room, different coding on medical records and registry, policy for the physicians including med students have to use mask and min 2 layers of gloves during examination, equipment touched must be cleaned immediately with alcohol+chlorhexidine mixture, or sterilized if necessary. They are treated as if they have HIV, even though their PCR test came back negative.

I cant imagine what will happen to me if i say "yes i'm gay"

What i'm trying to say is, people react in different ways, because they have internal fear, expectation, experience, confidence, cultural/society tendency or views that drives their action individually.

You'll reach the answer "yes i'm gay" one day, it might be slow like me or fast like someone else. Take your time after all its not a race

 

I do the same! I'm also in ninth grade by the way.
Though, I make it rather obvious the way I deny it.

 

Your not alone when I was a Freshmen last year I did that same thing. I just tell myself to stop lying and tell the truth and I told people I was gay

 

It takes some time to get being used to being asked about your sexuality. For me I never get asked, more of me telling people. Don't force yourself to be able to say your sexuality casually-it takes time to get used to, and with external factors such as the reactions of people around you, it may take a longer time. Don't beat yourself up over it-take it slow and easy.

 

It sucks when people do this, I know I'm gay but if my friends ask I panic and say no I'm straight - I'm starting to think I'm getting kinda obvious now though. I should start saying "and why would you like to know?" Bit I don't have the guts yet.

 

I usually lock eyes with them, give them a slow predatory smile, and say "Depends on who's asking..." :icon_twis

But yes, I flat out denied it in highschool and it was the question I dreaded more than anything. But, it does get better and eventually the question will be a lovely opportunity for you to blatantly hit on people...

 

It's normal. I've always been the person to say it's none of their business. Because it really isn't and no one should feel obligated to answer something they don't want to answer. I don't know maybe it's just my personality, but I've always felt it was kind of rude to ask someone if they were gay because you may put someone who isn't comfortable in who they are even more uncomfortable. With that said there can be many reasons to why someone asks if your gay. For me most of the time it was to make fun of me, but that's not always the case for everyone.

People only ever asked me in middle school and my freshman year of high school. I guess when I got older people just assumed or just never asked. Whenever I was asked (very few times), I politely would say no or pretend I didn't hear them.

But don't worry about it. You seem confident, don't let people extinguish it okay. It's whenever you're ready, not when they're ready

 

I run away because I'm not completely sure (although I kinda am) but before college, I would flat out deny it, heck I was in denial to myself then.

 

In high school I would straight out say no. People sometimes ask me at work, instead of saying no I ask them why. Idk y I do that but I do. Like I just avoid the question so I never give an answer.

 

I've never actually had anyone ask me if was gay.