I have to admit that before I probably cared a little bit about my family disowning me if they found out about my sexuality. I hadn't really thought much about being disowned until recently. But I came to realize this. True, they may be the only family that I have, but just because they're blood related and you share lots of great memories with them doesn't mean you should stress yourself and fit the life that they want for you. It's just not worth it. After all, there are many people out there that form stronger bonds and memories with friends rather than their family anyway. I don't care to be out anymore like I used to. As long as I'm financially independant, have a stable job, make some friends and live far from my family, I wouldn't mind coming out. But then a lot of LGBT people express fear of being disowned, and it's just weird to me now. It makes me feel like I'm the odd one out and that I'm a bit cold (which I'm not). Does anyone else feel the same way? Am I on the right track?
I feel like the way you feel is better. Because even though it is a very real fear and important to many people, it's a good thing to feel like you don't have to fit other people's opinions of what you should be. No, that isn't cold and you're not the odd one out. Not everyone has to worry about. Not everyone cares to worry about it. I think it's better not to worry. For me personally, I've given up on pushing it with my family. I have supportive family members and I have family members who don't believe me, blame it on other things, point to the guys that I've had in my life and say "well then why were you with them?" and all I can do is listen because nothing I say will get to them and I haven't told them in great detail about my girlfriends so why would they? It's best to get to the point where you feel comfortable with yourself and your sexuality. When you can say "I am __________ (fill in gap with what you are) and that's okay" even better would be "...and that's great" or "...and I'm happy with that."
I'm sure it depends on your relationship with your family but I personally wouldn't care if my dad disowned me for coming out (the only family member I think would). If it was a family member I spent time with and cared about it would hurt but at the end of the day how much do they really care about you if they're willing to disown you...
No, you're not alone. Growing up, I watched my family (and other families) screw up on so many levels, that any illusions I might have had about the importance of family opinion had died before I was old enough to shave. In my family we do as we please and inform other members of the family as a courtesy or point of interest, not because their approval or lack thereof matters much to us one way or another. You might avoid some topics with some members just because you don't feel like having the fight - not because their displeasure will really hurt your feelings or anything. I actually get along quite well with my family - and I love the fact that I have most of a planetary hemisphere between us. My advice to anyone looking to leave home/move away is that they should move at least two hours plane ride (plane ride, not car ride) away. There's something to be said for learning how to take care of yourself (even though you may pick up some bruises on the way) and build your life furnished the way you want it. More power to you and best of luck as you go forward with your journey:eusa_clap Todd
