I know that people who are experimenting are obviously inexperienced. I'm just wondering about people who are inexperienced and not experimenting. How can you tell the difference between them? How can you prove you're not experimenting when you're inexperienced and don't look queer?
By being honest. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. If they don't believe you, well, why would you want anything to do with someone who doesn't trust you at all? I was completely inexperienced with women when I met my girlfriend. I told her I was bisexual. I also told her I'd never done anything with a girl before, or fallen in love with one. She never doubted me, or at least never let me know!
my most recent gf had never been with a woman before and she was honest about it. she was very in tuned with her body so I couldn't really tell she was inexperienced. We were both very honest with each other, and all I cared about was building that experience with her and only her.
If you know who you are, then that should be enough for them. My girlfriend has dated women before, I haven't, and neither of us have had sex with a woman before. We've discussed any concerns that we have and it helps a lot. I've never questioned her attraction and she's always been more worried about being good enough for me.
As many here will tell you; anyone who would judge you so readily or not believe what you say, or tries to tell you what you feel as if they somehow knew better than you do, really is not worth your time and company. If you are looking to date but are worried about a potential partner you've just met being put off by negative connotations that might exist with terms like 'experimenting', there are alternative ways of phrasing and explaining where you're coming from. You can explain that you are inexperienced and are still in the process of discovering how you feel/trying to make sense of it all. Make it clear that what you're doing at this stage in your life is trying to achieve a deeper understanding of yourself, so as to ensure they don't get the wrong end of the stick and assume you are just looking to use them for something casual or 'an experiment'. So long as you explain this they should accept you as you are and let you grow at your own pace. And if they don't, then as mentioned before they're really not worth it. You don't need people in your life that would make you feel bad or doubt yourself even more, especially a person you're in a relationship with. One thing I would say is to be careful with this. If you want to date people then by all means do - but don't fall into the trap of assuming that gaining experience will give you ALL the answers you are looking for all by itself. Having experiences can be a good indicator in that they can allow you to make observations which might help shed some light on the matter. But you risk setting yourself up for disappointment and even more frustration if you invest too much hope that experience will give you an automatic sense of absolute certainty. There are people who date for years and still feel confused. There are others who figure out their orientation with very little if any first-hand experience. And a fair few fall somewhere in between. Don't treat dating like there is a self-enlightenment goal to be accomplished. If that happens then that's great, but don't force it. Take it at your own pace and see what happens.
