Fathers

For me, there's two sides to my dad. One side loves us completely and is funny and great to be with. Unfortunately, I haven't seen that side of him very often since I was about 8. As time went on, he's become less and less of the man he used to be.

The other side of him is not a person I enjoy knowing. He's racist, sexist and makes me feel like I have failed him by being born a girl. As far as he is concerned, I am useless. He is the reason I won't come out to my family. I'm scared he would throw me out, or hit me, or do what he does best and blame my mum for 'messing me up'. The only person who messed me up is him. :/ His influence in my life is purely negative. I fear I do not love him, but the man he was when I was a little girl. I miss how things used to be.

 

I have 2 dads, my biological father and my step father. I love both so much.
My biological father is my rock, I go to him for everything. I'm a true daddies girl. He was the one I went to for all my firsts, first time I got dumped, first time I became a woman, first time I got drunk and thought I was going to die lol. I couldn't imagine what my life or myself would be like if he wasn't in if. To me he's the best dad in the world.
My stepdad is like a father to me, the support is there we understand each other and we have a good laugh.

I don't know what it's like to not have my dad in my life but anyone who does my heart goes out to them. My dad made me strong in some areas of life and also stubborn lol.

 

My Dad left when I was three years old and he's not made contact since.
Says a lot about him really so I've got no feelings for him whatsoever.

 

I have always looked up to my dad. He is thoughtful, intelligent, caring, strong, and funny. We cook food, watch scary movies, and go on bike rides together. My dad has always been a huge role model for me. I have learned from him about how powerful optimism is. Since my parents divorced, I only get to see my dad on weekends (my mom's decision, she got full custody in court). I miss spending more time with him, but I am grateful for the time I do get to spend with him.

 

You don't wanna hear this...

 

Sometimes I appreciate my father for his good qualities: he's liberal, open-minded, very smart. Other times I just want to strangle him. He is an alcoholic, a braggart, very selfish, rude to my mom (who's too insecure to leave him).

 

I don't know how to put in words the feelings of hurt I have for my father.

 

My biological dad? Just another chapter in the perma- bad luck world that is my life.

I had only seen him like 3 times in my life. Chances are he was a (huge) pushover, as he was a nice guy from the little I personally got to see. That first bit seems a great guess because, the woman he was with hated me (a child at the time) for some reason I won't probably ever know, and I bet that was a factor in why I never saw him.

It seems even more apparent when you count into the fact that once they eventually split is when he started trying to make an effort to get in touch and connect with me. Started off with small chat here and there up until we had talked for a good while in one sitting.

...and, of course, the moment that we had made plans for me to stay with him that whole summer(the first time I would've ever actually 'seen him'), he passes away not long before Summer, within months of my granddad...

 

My dad is my absolute hero. When I was around 3 my mother left my dad, my brother and myself. My dad single handedly raised us both whilst working full time. On top of that, my dad had MS (which of course he still does).
He always provided everything we needed and sacrificed a lot for us despite being disabled himself. He is kind, generous and selfless always putting others before himself. He has always been there for me and still always is. He has helped me through some tough spots in my life both emotionally and financially including when my ex-wife and I separated. He helped fund my trip to Japan and still even helps me out with things for my children. He was completely accepting when he found out I was bisexual and wasn't phased one bit by it.

I can only aspire to be like he is and if I'm half the father and half the man he is, then I still feel I'd be a pretty wonderful person.

Happy days

 

On one hand...

He's probably most of the reason I'm a miserable wreck of a human being. Between the homophobia in my teen years and his still very much alive transphobia I didn't have the best time when I started to come into my sexuality. Then there is the whole thing were he used to call me stupid and weak all the time as a kid and that's pretty much shattered any semblance of self confidence I ever had.

On the other hand...

I see little glimmers every once in awhile that make me think he cares. It's hard to say for sure, but he does have his moments. It's not like every memory of my dad is terrible. Hell when I was a kid he bought an old arcade machine and rewired it to play every nes and zsnes game ever made and decked it out just for me which was awesome. So yeah, he has his cool moments too ^^

I'm pretty split. Got kinda a hate/love thing there. Sometimes I hate him, other times ya know he's my dad XD

 

New wife, new life. He doesn't want to be a part of my mine. It's taken me a long time to get over him but I have. It's his loss.

 

Me and my dad have never gotten along. He drinks a lot and is extremely racist and bigoted. I noticed at an early age that he drank too much and have always been more of a mom's boy. I'm glad that he was in my life though, because he showed me almost every day what I don't want to be like. When he hasn't had anything to drink for a while he has a few good qualities. He knows his way around most mechanical things. From him I've learned how to use machines for woodwork or metalwork and handywork around the house. Even though he knows a huge amount about cars and other machines he never really showed interest in teaching it to me and my brother.....I think this is mostly because he drinks at work and uses it as a sort of escape from the family life.

 

I have always loved my father. Dad is a funny guy, knows when to put his foot down, doesn't believe in the best of people, and all the while loving his family. Unfortunately he also happens to be the opposite of helpful in stressful situations. That is why we have Mom, who is pretty much his opposite. I never had any other father figures in my life. Parent figures, yeah. Though I don't know if my only other parent figure can be placed besides "parent", she is like a third parent that I never went beyond to give a label to.

Fathers mean different things to different people. I have my personal image of "father": my Dad smiling awkwardly as he gives me life advice that I really would rather he give over email.

Others might have: Jackass; who cares; teaching me to play sports; that deadbeat; helps me whenever he can; ect. I don't think there is a right or wrong answer, just answers. What is more difficult than knowing what "father" means is knowing what it means to you and how you explain it.

 

Ahaha, oh man. Oh man. I've never got on well with my dad. He sees me first and foremost as 'Daughter' and 'Legacy', as both of which I have disappointed, haha. Turns out that my being a gay, gender-awkward artist (and not even a classical gallery artist that produces the kind of art he likes, oh dear!) was not something he accounted for.

Luckily, I haven't lived with him for years, and no amount of passive-aggressive grousing about my career aspirations or unsubtle hints as to what he thinks a Respectable Offspring should act like is going to put me off of being me.

But yeah, dude's kind of a douche, but nevermind! I don't think he realises how much his obvious contempt for my artistic goals fuels the fire of my motivation. In that respect, I suppose he's a positive influence in exactly the way he wouldn't want to be, haha.

 

I've mentioned my father a few times on here, so I won't go into a long post about it.

I can simplify it by saying I haven't been in (intentional) contact with him for nearly a decade now, and have no plans to be in the future.

Me and my mother generally refer to him as "The Sperm" when he is mentioned in conversation. That gives you an idea of how many worthwhile things he contributed to our lives.

 

He's loud, racist, and somewhat homophobic and especially transphobic, avid Republican.
He's smart, genuinely funny when he wants to be, hardworking, and overall extremely devoted to my siblings and I.
Despite our mostly conflicting values, we get along extremely well most the time, I'm most likely his favorite. What I like the best about him is that he treats me with respect, not as some little kid but someone capable of understanding larger pictures and able to know the truth. He won't sugar coat things. We get into debates sometimes, usually about political issues, most of which are civil, despite me usually leaving frustrated over his obstinate beliefs, being a hardheaded liberal myself.
He's sexist sometimes, as in believing women inferior to army men and smaller things like that, but has always taught my sisters and I to do what we want in life, to pursue any hobby we choose no mater how feminine or unfeminine. Though it's worth noting he can rub off a bit of pressure on my younger brother to be masculine. It's a bit complex.
All and all, he's my dad, and I love him dearly despite our differences.

 

I don't live with my dad-my parents are separated. From what I remember in my younger years, it was always like that. During weekdays we would be with our grandmother and mom, on weekends the three of us (my mom sis and I) will go back to my dad's place for the weekend, but we stopped years ago because it was...messy. The constant moving and all.

That being said I've got a stable relationship with my father-he might seem cold and all but he's actually very childish when it comes to my sister and I. He's naggy af but we get along well. We often have serious talks, especially about philosophy, something the both of us are interested in. Maybe it's cuz we don't live together and talk much, when we go out (be it with my mom or sis or just the two of us) if we make an offhand comment about wanting to buy something he would jump to buy it for us. He's also very open to the both of us, in everything. He probably knows my sexuality too-he's read my page before (not EC) but he keeps mum about it, and I don't blame him for wanting me to tell him. He gives me a certain leash of freedom, and his teaching style is similar to what I try to live by: if you're the one who gets yourself into trouble, you fix it yourself.

(This is all over the place...I just had an exam so I'm really out of it right now.)

 

My dad ran away from his home when he was 16 years old, because his father was a violent psychopath. Despite that, he doesn't seem to hold any hatred against his father.

My dad was determined to be a better parent, and I think he's done a pretty good job. He had a wild youth, so he's told me a lot of "cautionary tales" about it. He's brutally honest, and most people respect him for that.

We've never really talked about emotions, and that has pros and cons. I think my parents are great people, but it's like there is something missing. I know they've always cared about me in their own ways. Of course, I have some complaints, but no family is perfect, and I was a difficult child lol.