My gay friend using the term 'gay'... - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out

partietraumatic · 5th Jan 2009, 02:09 AM

ok so the other day a gay friend of mine got bad news on his university application...he then changed his msn name to 'got rejected,but that university is gay anyway'

I thought this was ridiculous, a gay person using the term 'gay' in a derogatory sense. Personally i don't find it offensive when people do that coz i know normally theyre not actually being homophobic theyre just used to saying it, but i still dont use it myself. That just seems an entirely ridiculous thing to do! it made me laugh

has anyone else heard similar things-gay people using faggot etc?

Shevanel · 5th Jan 2009, 02:10 AM

lol i do that sometimes... but i'm a bad boy

EDIT: I also call some stupid straight women fags, IE: Hillary Clinton, but ONLY some stupid straight women, again i dont know why im just weird like that lol.

RaRa · 5th Jan 2009, 02:10 AM

I do it all the time.

ColdSnap · 5th Jan 2009, 02:19 AM

yeah gotta be honest it slips out sometimes

Peter · 5th Jan 2009, 02:20 AM

I don't. I think doing using the word gay is too gay.

Janvier · 5th Jan 2009, 02:24 AM

A drunk femme guy at a gay bar got angry because someone called him a faggot, I said 'Honey, what's the problem? We're all faggots.'

I call myself a fag too.

**Gerry** · 5th Jan 2009, 02:25 AM

I never use it in that meaning.

George · 5th Jan 2009, 02:37 AM

I always use the words gay and fag. XD It's so confusing for other people when it comes out of my mouth.

**Maddy** · 5th Jan 2009, 02:49 AM

Yeah, my ex constantly used "gay" and "fag". Then again, she was never a shining example of politeness or consideration. I think she was more bisexual-for-attention than actually queer, though.

Jace · 5th Jan 2009, 05:57 AM

haa i do that

but only when talking about something thats gay like not derogatory sense of the word

like oneof my friends went through this whole drama about dating this one closeted guy and then i found out they broke up and i was like "that's real gay"

Steve · 5th Jan 2009, 06:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by partietraumatic

ok so the other day a gay friend of mine got bad news on his university application...he then changed his msn name to 'got rejected,but that university is gay anyway'

I thought this was ridiculous, a gay person using the term 'gay' in a derogatory sense. Personally i don't find it offensive when people do that coz i know normally theyre not actually being homophobic theyre just used to saying it, but i still dont use it myself. That just seems an entirely ridiculous thing to do! it made me laugh

has anyone else heard similar things-gay people using faggot etc?

i do that all the time i use gay/fag/ queer/retarded/ french etc ... no offence to any gay /retarded or french people at all its just other peoplearound here use it so it got stuck in my head plus it makes me lol

Mickey · 5th Jan 2009, 06:11 AM

Guilty as charged. ( I use to use the word fag a lot) but my gay guy friends used it and other things (dyke,fag,gayboy,etc.) much more than I did.

Ty · 5th Jan 2009, 08:06 AM

British word for ciggerette is 'fag' :P I also accidently call things gay too, mainly because I'm not fond of other swear words.

pirateninja · 5th Jan 2009, 08:28 AM

Personally, I'd rather not use a word to describe myself as an insult, and I find it incredibly annoying that gay people use the word gay. You never see a mentally handicapped person saying "That's retarded".

missmelancholy · 5th Jan 2009, 11:14 AM

Personally, I find is silly to be offended by a word. People suck, point blank. That's no reason to constantly get your panties in a bunch.

Myself, I like to say "that's so hetero".

5th Jan 2009, 11:18 AM

my bf call each others homos-its ok if a gay person uses it in my opinion.

5th Jan 2009, 12:21 PM

honestly I say it all the time and i really could care less when someone says it.

Brandford · 5th Jan 2009, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pirateninja

Personally, I'd rather not use a word to describe myself as an insult, and I find it incredibly annoying that gay people use the word gay. You never see a mentally handicapped person saying "That's retarded".

I agree, using the word gay in derogatory sense irritates me to the point where I don't allow those close to me to say it when talking to me or around me, thats goes for the words fag, faggot and homo and anything like that.

**Meropspusillus** · 5th Jan 2009, 12:31 PM

I don't really like when people use it, but I also realize that just because somebody says derogatorily, it doesn't mean they're homophobes.

However, I think about it this way. The word is derogatory because the society that created it is homophobic. It took a word that means a homosexual male, and turned it into a word meaning "lame". The word itself, used in this way, is homophobic, and that's why I don't use it.

Just my opinion though.

littledinosaurs · 5th Jan 2009, 02:28 PM

I use Dyke a lot but only when in their company <3333

its like any other insulting slur, it gets taken back by them and is used by them in a socially acceptable manor.

5th Jan 2009, 02:09 AM	#1
partietraumatic A gay heteropolitan? Full Member Gender: Male Out Status: Enough for now Location: Oxford and Birmingham, UK Age: 22 Posts: 1,300 Join Date: Jul 2008	My gay friend using the term 'gay'... ok so the other day a gay friend of mine got bad news on his university application...he then changed his msn name to 'got rejected,but that university is gay anyway' I thought this was ridiculous, a gay person using the term 'gay' in a derogatory sense. Personally i don't find it offensive when people do that coz i know normally theyre not actually being homophobic theyre just used to saying it, but i still dont use it myself. That just seems an entirely ridiculous thing to do! it made me laugh has anyone else heard similar things-gay people using faggot etc? __________________ 'Im not your toy and this isn't another girl meets boy'

5th Jan 2009, 02:10 AM	#2
Shevanel One Is Light. One Is Dark. Full Member Gender: The Dude Orientation: Bi-Winning Out Status: Everybody and Your Mom. Location: Little Neck, NY Age: 23 Posts: 7,766 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: My gay friend using the term 'gay'... lol i do that sometimes... but i'm a bad boy EDIT: I also call some stupid straight women fags, IE: Hillary Clinton, but ONLY some stupid straight women, again i dont know why im just weird like that lol. __________________ If there were no rewards to reap, No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here, I certainly would've walked away by now. Gonna wait it out... Be patient. Last edited by Shevanel; 5th Jan 2009 at 02:15 AM..

5th Jan 2009, 02:10 AM	#3
RaRa We we we so excited Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: Los Angeles, CA Age: 22 Posts: 7,452 Join Date: Nov 2008	Re: My gay friend using the term 'gay'... I do it all the time. __________________ Do you think about me now and then? Do you think about me now and then? Oh now I'm comin' home again Maybe we can start again

5th Jan 2009, 02:19 AM	#4
ColdSnap The easily corrupted ^_^ Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Boy Botherer Out Status: Out to everyone Location: C-diff - Wales Age: 24 Posts: 343 Join Date: Nov 2008	Re: My gay friend using the term 'gay'... yeah gotta be honest it slips out sometimes

5th Jan 2009, 02:20 AM	#5
Peter Just a guy Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Anyone who is interested Location: Milton Keynes, England Age: 57 Posts: 474 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: My gay friend using the term 'gay'... I don't. I think doing using the word gay is too gay. __________________ Peter "God leaves us free to become whatever we like. We can be ourselves or not, as we please. We are at liberty to be real, or to be unreal. We may be true or false, the choice is ours." (Thomas Merton)

5th Jan 2009, 02:24 AM	#6
Janvier يَناير Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: France Age: 23 Posts: 849 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: My gay friend using the term 'gay'... A drunk femme guy at a gay bar got angry because someone called him a faggot, I said 'Honey, what's the problem? We're all faggots.' I call myself a fag too. __________________ Uncertainty excites me.

5th Jan 2009, 02:25 AM	#7
Gerry We're all a little mad! EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: Las Vegas, Nevada Age: 25 Posts: 5,736 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: My gay friend using the term 'gay'... I never use it in that meaning. __________________ "Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality".-James Baldwin

5th Jan 2009, 02:37 AM	#8
George Banned Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 20 Posts: 2,386 Join Date: Jul 2007	Re: My gay friend using the term 'gay'... I always use the words gay and fag. XD It's so confusing for other people when it comes out of my mouth.

5th Jan 2009, 02:49 AM	#9
Maddy Free Hugs EC Admin Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 23 Posts: 8,591 Join Date: Mar 2008 Tournaments Won: 4	Re: My gay friend using the term 'gay'... Yeah, my ex constantly used "gay" and "fag". Then again, she was never a shining example of politeness or consideration. I think she was more bisexual-for-attention than actually queer, though. __________________ how strange it is to be anything at all [Victor] 2:09 pm: and then halloween happened and I was outside in a skirt.

5th Jan 2009, 05:57 AM	#10
Jace EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Everyone except non-imediate family. Location: texaass Age: 19 Posts: 429 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: My gay friend using the term 'gay'... haa i do that but only when talking about something thats gay like not derogatory sense of the word like oneof my friends went through this whole drama about dating this one closeted guy and then i found out they broke up and i was like "that's real gay" __________________ "

5th Jan 2009, 06:11 AM	#12
Mickey Older and bolder! Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Massachusetts Age: 51 Posts: 1,774 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: My gay friend using the term 'gay'... Guilty as charged. ( I use to use the word fag a lot) but my gay guy friends used it and other things (dyke,fag,gayboy,etc.) much more than I did. __________________ We don't choose to be gay...we're CHOSEN!

5th Jan 2009, 08:06 AM	#13
Ty Mints ribbed for her pleasure Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Oxford, t'South, UK Age: 20 Posts: 305 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: My gay friend using the term 'gay'... British word for ciggerette is 'fag' :P I also accidently call things gay too, mainly because I'm not fond of other swear words. __________________ Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, exhibit number one is what the seraphs, the misinformed, simple, noble-winged seraphs, envied. Look at this tangle of thorns.

5th Jan 2009, 08:28 AM	#14
pirateninja EC's Sailor Uranus Full Member Gender: Biologically Female Orientation: Heterosexually Challenged Out Status: Most people Location: Bath, England Age: 22 Posts: 5,856 Join Date: Sep 2007 Tournaments Won: 1	Re: My gay friend using the term 'gay'... Personally, I'd rather not use a word to describe myself as an insult, and I find it incredibly annoying that gay people use the word gay. You never see a mentally handicapped person saying "That's retarded". __________________ Holly the Pirateninja Ars Longa, Vita Brevis.

5th Jan 2009, 11:14 AM	#15
missmelancholy Resident Fairy Mary Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Just Sexual Out Status: Some people Location: LaVergne, TN Age: 25 Posts: 222 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: My gay friend using the term 'gay'... Personally, I find is silly to be offended by a word. People suck, point blank. That's no reason to constantly get your panties in a bunch. Myself, I like to say "that's so hetero". __________________ "Then you can eat your children (cannibals) without any legal ramifications!"

5th Jan 2009, 11:18 AM	#16
BitterEdge Guest Posts: n/a Tournaments Won: 15	Re: My gay friend using the term 'gay'... my bf call each others homos-its ok if a gay person uses it in my opinion.

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5th Jan 2009, 12:21 PM	#17
Pepsi Guest Posts: n/a Tournaments Won: 15	Re: My gay friend using the term 'gay'... honestly I say it all the time and i really could care less when someone says it.

5th Jan 2009, 12:31 PM	#19
Meropspusillus RAWR DINOSAURS EC Chat Mod Gender: I make the small motile sex cells. Orientation: I like people who make small motile sex cells. Out Status: CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP Location: New Mexico Age: 23 Posts: 1,101 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: My gay friend using the term 'gay'... I don't really like when people use it, but I also realize that just because somebody says derogatorily, it doesn't mean they're homophobes. However, I think about it this way. The word is derogatory because the society that created it is homophobic. It took a word that means a homosexual male, and turned it into a word meaning "lame". The word itself, used in this way, is homophobic, and that's why I don't use it. Just my opinion though.

5th Jan 2009, 02:28 PM	#20
littledinosaurs J'essaie de Parler Français! :] Full Member Gender: Garçon Orientation: Bisexuel Location: Nouvelle-Angleterre. Age: 22 Posts: 2,351 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: My gay friend using the term 'gay'... I use Dyke a lot but only when in their company <3333 its like any other insulting slur, it gets taken back by them and is used by them in a socially acceptable manor. __________________ Âllo Là