Which do you prefer: For dating? For friendships? For family? For yourself? Do you find those who like to stick to a plan as boring, or do you find those who like to be a little more impulsive as problematic? Is there a time and a place for one or the other, or both? Be as deep or silly as you want, really.
Dating, friendships, family....all very systematic in nature. No hookups, no fast friends, and my family likes everything to be planned. It is odd planning with my mom because I will say that I am coming over tomorrow. She says, "Call first because I am not sure where I'll be at a given time." My mom has a habit of being places for longer than she thinks. She is extremely detailed and will randomly talk to strangers and lose track of time. Personally, I get very spontaneous when it comes to buying concert tickets and tickets for flying etc, but that's more because I don't do much of either. I haven't left our state since 2002 and haven't had a proper vacation since 2009. That vacation was on my own to Grand Rapids. Not a very big deal. Just a Fri-Sunday deal.
Ah frankly I much prefer having things nicely planned out. I prefer to know what time things are happening but I don't require a ton of notice as far as days. I am a very routine-oriented person because it quells my lifelong anxiety problems... That being said I do okay with occasional surprises and when my anxiety is lower I become much more flexible and spontaneous. I prefer that the people in my life work with me a little and at least let me know a time when I should be ready for whatever they would like me to do. By and large this isn't a huge deal. I really sometimes wish I was more spontaneous and free-spirited and just go with the flow more but I guess I'm really just getting the idea that I should be from media that I encounter and as long as I'm functional and reasonably happy it doesn't really matter if I do things at roughly the same time each day.
I like routines and having everything planned out. BUT once every few months I like doing something really exciting and spontaneous.
My approach to everything is being systematic. I appreciate some spontaneity, but that's like "I don't have plans today, and I'm kind of tired of working. It would be awesome if someone wanted to hang out." Sure, I appreciate that, and I'm not going to get bent out of shape if someone gets cold feet about a plan at the last moment and wants to do something differently than we had arranged. (But if that happens all the time, sure I'll get a little pissed off.) But my life approach is that it's good to plan. That's respectful of other people's time. It's treating my own time as finite, valuable, and important. I don't know about you folks, but I'm not talented at many things, and I need to exert persistent effort to be good at the things I do. And I need to spend time thinking about how I study, so I can be more efficient in the ways I use my time. All of that is planning, planning, planning. So yes, I'm systematic. It doesn't mean I have a stick up my ass... Obviously, ideal life partners wouldn't just "do shit," and they would be systematic as well, or at least tolerant of my system and my need for organization. ~ Adrienne
I prefer all to be systematic, though having a few spontaneous friends is not bad; as long as I don't feel dragged along as much as I feel enlivened, that's a good thing. But I adore the formality of family structure and the organisation in my own life; I want to feel stable and certain. Once I'm old enough to have serious relationships, I'm sure spontaneity is not going to be something I will particularly want, especially if it impacts my own structure. I think systematic things can be exciting; planning well can result in excellent, rewarding actions. Systems aren't inherently lethargic, just as spontaneity doesn't promise to yield rich experiences. Arranging free time in which to be spontaneous is a lot better for me than having few plans and allowing myself to be taken in by the moment constantly.
Ah, God, another Kaiser thread where I can't give a straightforward answer! Sheesh. Of course, I find myself giving the stereotypical bisexual answer of "both". I am systematic about most things...but with a spontaneous bent to it. My partner and I are meticulous about our budget, for example...but it incorporates a great deal of flexibility. We have standing policies with respect to families...that we are all too ready to bend or break when we need to. Rules are critical...knowing when and how to bend or break them is just as important.
^ Hhahahaahahahah you only made this thread to make that joke, didn't you... I s'ppose that I have a bit of both in me. I'm normally fairly systematic, but I do have a fair share of spontaneous things that I'll do.
The primary reason I disliked school was that it was so regimented and structured - and that's not the type of person I am. I enjoy a bit of chaos - and I don't really want friends who act like Monica Geller and insist on every single thing in life being planned to the last detail. Though I have recently purchased a dairy in a desperate attempt to try and organise myself more. So far, so good. I have thus far managed to keep most of my appointments without having to phone the person/place up and saying 'I got a letter from you but I misplaced it..'.
I quite enjoy spontaneity in a lot of situations (it's more fun!), but systematic stability is probably better for me in most long-term scenarios, haha. And of course, there has to be some reins on the spontaneous stuff - as much as I'd love to drop everything and go have a grand adventure the moment it calls, or have a friend just appear on my doorstep for a day hanging out, that's often not quite practical in a realistic sense, haha. And certain things in life literally require being organised in dealing with them. I'm definitely not a systematic person, though. I am naturally kind of chaotic and disorganised in how I do most things, in a happy, bumbling sort of a manner. I suck so much at organising myself! I think I need systematic people in my life to provide a counterbalance - luckily my girlfriend is all kinds of organised and helps me check myself and find a happy medium, and in turn I like to hope I act as a similar counterweight for her. And being systematic IS good for me, as loath as I am to admit it. I finish projects faster if I do them one-by-one rather than seven at once, and I'm more likely to complete a story I write from start to finish in a logical order than if I succumb to my natural inclination to write out the snippets that automatically come to mind...and then try to join those together. So the short answer, I guess, is: naturally inclined towards spontaneity, but ideally a balanced mixture of the two.
I'm a little bit of both. My family is more systematic, while myself, I am really a jumble of both, depending on my mood. If it's for more serious decisions (things that affect me or my wallet in the long term) then I'll be more systematic. A little regime among chaos is appreciated on all counts, in the end. Ps Kaiser, that joke got me tearing. Good one.
I don't enjoy routine and structure if it dominates and more specifically restricts my entire life, but I do depend on routine at times to keep things in check. In general I'd say I lean more towards systematic with most things, I think things out and take things slow, I plan things out- what I want to do, how I want to do them, and when. However that being said, I do enjoy spontaneity and I find some of the best parts of my life or best things I've done were from a certain amount of spontaneous inspiration. In dating as well, I don't mind systematic but I do want a partner who is occasionally spontaneous and all. It makes life kind of fun and unpredictable at times, but there is a limit to that.
I'm very spontaneous, and I usually prefer more systematic people for every type of relationship. I can be very systematic for short periods of time (a week), especially if it's presented as some sort of challenge. I plan my life around my moods. It's like half of my personality changes depending on my mood. There's method in my madness. Some tasks are easier for one "version" of myself to do. Plus the infallible wisdom of the Internet thinks I'm disorganised ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Probably has to do with my OCD but i'm systematic to a fault, cautious to the T. I like to know everything about that person, study their habits, behavior. I don't believe in love without caution or trusting easily. The most important thing to me is if a person has a history of drugs or STDs, which is a big red flag, i will not compromise on that. Same applies to being friends with people. I befriend people with the same compatibility with me and they must earn my trust. i do everything systematically and like to plan everything down to the letter. Sometimes of course there are hiccups in the plan but i stick to the plan always getting back on track. I see chaos as the enemy and don't like anything that isn't planned.
