Are you a bad person if you don't support LGBT rights?

You must understand that a lot of hatred is passed down in some families generation to generation. A lot of it is religious based prejudice. They'd rather not give God the finger and stick to traditional values. From my experience, I know my father doesn't want to lose face among his religious friends and he also doesn't want me to burn in hell forever.

I think it's a mix between religious and sociological factors and it's really friggin unfortunate.

 

I get where you are coming from. My family is somewhat similar. They are not conservative or religious, but they tend to be pretty traditional in their values. The thing to remember with these types of people is that when you first start talking, expect some amount of misunderstanding and judgmental behavior. However, you are their daughter and that will probably outweigh the judgment. You may even be able to clear up some of their misconceptions and misunderstandings regarding your sexuality. For instance, when I explained my attraction to both sexes, my family first had the misconception that this could lead itself to promiscuous behavior (an unfortunately common misconception). It did not spark rage or any overt expressions of anger, but it definitely did not sit well. Then, I explained that I have control over my behavior just like anyone else does. When they heard that I was not some sort of out of control sex maniac, there stopped being issues about it.

 

Not everything, in my opinion, is so black and white. It's like asking if smart people can make mistakes or dumb people be correct. A person isn't automatically bad if they have trouble seeing things in a good way which they've been taught their whole life was bad. Some people can get stuck in some ways of thinking. A lot of times it's just they don't understand. In some ways, we're fighting against human nature to segregate and categorize and rank. We're trying to get people to stop doing that with other humans. But we get this knee-jerk reaction to do that with eeeeeverything lol down to the atom. Eh. That's my theory anyways.
At any rate, we all probably have some not so great attributes about us but can still be good people.

 

I think in 2015 it's understandable that you can be anti-LGBT and a good person.

It's only in the last decade or so that LGBT awareness has really become a viable option. Many people still hold deep religious and social reservations that to me are understandable. I don't believe it's fair, but a lot of people who are against the LGBT community are good people who are either mislead, or forced into tough social situations. Either way, I believe that many are honestly good people ( when it really comes down to it ) that just haven't been given the opportunity or even the chance in their area to truly have any level ground with the LGBT community for understanding.

 

I know i'm gonna get a lot of flack for this, but, i'm not particularly active in the LGBTQ community where i am. While i do think we should be allowed rights, i also see extremes within the LGBTQ community (treatment of transgendered and "effeminate" gay, the cake thing in the news) that really makes me question IF i want to be a part of it. Right now i guess i'm in the middle, i don't know if i may have to take a side, but, don't really want to.

 

You don't have to actively support LGBT or actively be against them, so you can be a good person if you don't support LGBT rights, so long as you aren't against them, just in the middle, indifferent.

 

Very simply, yes.

If you are against someone else having rights, you are a bad person.

It is perfectly fine to not agree with something, but it is wrong to deprive people of their rights because of this.
By voting 'no' to gay marriage, for example, you are persecuting someone else because you personally don't think being gay is okay.
It doesn't actually have any effect on the people voting if they themselves are not gay. By voting 'no', they are just saying 'I don't like it, so no-one can have it.' That's kind of like voting to ban donuts because you don't like them. You may not want them in your life, but that doesn't give you the right to deprive others.

It is okay to not agree with it, but to actively try to stop it is a pretty crappy thing to do.

Of course, this is just one area. There are people who are good people in many areas, but not in others.

Good and bad isn't exactly black and white, so if your parents don't agree with LGBT+ rights, that doesn't make them a bad person as a whole.

My dad is homophobic, but I wouldn't say he's a bad person, just not a good one.

 

Depends on how they were brought up. If the parents were anti-LGBT it would be hard to forget I guess. If the parents were pro-LGBT then I think there must likely a bad person

 

Certainly not.

However, Good people is an extremely flawed concept. It is no different than having good intentions. There is absolutely nothing that you could not do without being able to claim that you had good intention. There is no collection of negative, horrible qualities that you could have and still not claim to be a good person. Goodness, as a human quality, is not measurable. There is no cut off line or qualifications in order for us to claim that someone is a good person.

Good people is a self-serving name tag that we as a society have grown to use to excuse our bullshit. You are not good person because you happen to be an average, non-serial killing, citizen who pays their taxes. You are merely a person. Perfectly capable of doing good, yet no less capable of doing harm. Perfectly capable of being kind and accepting, but equally capable of being bigoted and discriminatory. Actions that are presumed good do not outweigh actions that are presumed bad. All independent qualities that we have as people should be weight independently.

The moment that we stop caring about whether the rest of the world thinks that our peers, friends, family, favorite public figures, etc, and their "image" as alleged good people rather than confronting people, respectfully, about their ignorant mindsets and harmful actions, about their actual behavior on this planet, is the moment that we will truly grow.

 

I'm not sure about being a bad person, that's pretty much subjective. But my family is exactly like what you described and I do resent them because of that.

 

Damnit! I came here to write a spiel on what being a "good person" means, but Gen kind of beat me to it

 

This is a good question. Sometimes people make decisions based on ignorance (lack of information), misguided views or poor understanding (lack of sensitivity for example).
So, I won't say they are bad people. However, if they deny a gay person basic human rights, so that they are demeaning their dignity, then that is bad, and I honestly can't say they are good people. If you look down on other human beings just because they are different, I believe this is badness within you which should be rooted out.

I think older people still don't always "get it" because of how they were raised to believe homosexuality was a choice and was unnatural and wrong. However, I think this younger generation will have no excuse to be prejudiced against the LGBT community. I think in 10-20 years it will be a dead issue, even in the majority of churches.

 

Though our views differ slightly, THANK YOU!

I don't even think you deserve to get flack for that. I, too, am greatly pissed at how often I've personally witnessed the 'community' treating others within(you give great examples of the fem-bashing and trans* folk) and, until I see a change in that, I pretty much consider myself disassociated to a degree from the lgbt+ community.

I wouldn't ever be anti-lgbt obviously or against people's basic rights, but you won't see me being active either.

I, however, will continue to call people out on their bullshit in regards to said examples above, especially the fem-bashing since I see that the most(and it truly saddens me).

 

No, it doesn't make them a bad person, but it certainly makes them an asshole... If they don't like where LGBTQ+ is going or what we're doing then they can just stay out of our way and watch the irresistible tide of social change passes them by as they fritter away the rest of their miserable lives in ignorant darkness, hopefully to not be replaced.

I have zero respect for homophobes. None.

---------- Post added 19th Sep 2015 at 11:36 AM ----------

--Please note that I am referring to homophobes in general and not to the OP's family

 

Depends what you define as a 'bad person'. I know a few people who are not the most supportive, but they are good people in other aspects.

Its a matter of personal view.

 

It's kind of a deep question, really. Gen does a good job of exploring the notion of "good person"...but the thread is really about the notion of "bad person". And as Gen points out, it's not binary...being a bad person is more than simply not being a good person (however you define that).

The fact is that *both concepts* are flawed.

We all operate within our own set of constraints...we all suffer from 1000 wounds and we all do what we can. Some people are ready for growth of a certain kind; others simply aren't. To categorize them as "bad" is to reject the notion of personal limitations. But we *all* have limitations. You may reject them, but that doesn't stop them from existing.

Your parents may be lovely and loving people in many ways, have many good qualities, etc. But because of how they were raised, when they were raised, what they've observed over the years and with whom they've interacted, they may simply be unprepared at this time to expand their notion of "acceptable behavior or ways of being" to include LGBT people. This in turn may put limitations on what you feel you can say to them, or how you interact with them, or even how close you can feel to them...those are examples of *your* limitations...and they don't make you bad either.

All that said, I must also point out that nothing seems to make a person *ready* to expand their notion of acceptable ways of being like discovering that their child (whom they love more than just about anything) or other person close to them has a quality they previously found unacceptable. Nothing makes them more ready to try to understand where that quality comes from, nothing makes them engage in deep thought about the morality of the topic, like finding that someone they know well and love and respect has that quality.

It's not an overnight thing. I'm not saying you come out to homophobic parents and they simply revise their opinion of the world. The time varies, depending on the people. For some it's a matter of days or weeks, for some months or a year...for some it's 10-20 years (which of course can mean some die without acceptance ever coming). But I've heard from LGBT-specialized therapists that overwhelmingly, parents tend to come around eventually...they have every incentive to do so. But it's hard work...for them and for you.

So here's my short answer to the OP: there's no such thing as a bad person; there are just limited people, and the limitations vary. But our most serious limitations we never overcome until there's a reason for us to confront them. The simple fact that it's 2015 and the Supreme Court has mandated marriage equality is not sufficient reason to expect a homophobe to confront and overcome their limitation with respect to sexuality.

 

This.

 

I am with ForNarnia on this, just no.

 

I will disagree with you there. This is the kind of thing that makes me feel alienated and drives me away from the LGBT+ community this extreme viewpoint, like when that teacher who got fired for disagreeing about gay rights (which she didn't do in public, or in front of her students while teaching), or the whole boy scouts and the cake thing in the news. The whole get in or get in or get out of our way and get left behind is a bit of an extreme. People have a right to disagree and have opposing opinion even if we don't like whatever it is (provided they're not really hurting anyone), the idea that if you're not with us then you're automatically an asshole creates a destructive us vs them militaristic mentality which is not helpful.