The word "husband"

I was just thinking about that today actually. I want to have a long term relationship when I'm older, but I couldn't decide if I would actually call him my husband to my family/friends/co-workers. I think I decided, though, that if I really loved him and he really loved me and we were in it for the long haul I would call him my husband.

But ya, it does kind of make me uncomfortable.

 

I can't resist, my 100 POST! :eusa_danc

 

I've never been a person to label anything, especially in a relationship, myself. But i think when it comes down to it i would probably call that one person who i am going to spend the rest of my life with " life partner" instead. For some reason, i also feel uncomfortable with the word husband as most of the time i will hear it from heterosexual couple, but thats just me

 

I agree with everything that's been said. In fact, when I saw this thread's title and before I read it, I wondered if this would be the discussion.

How would you guys feel about calling somebody your "boyfriend"? I'm (nearly) fine with that word.

I'm wondering how much trouble heterosexual couples have with the word husband.

 

The word "boyfriend" usually can roll out from me as if it was nothing, i have no problem with the word itself. Actually i'll be happy to call someone my "boyfriend" all the time :lol:

 

I really dislike the word husband in my own personal context and if I married a guy, I think I would just call him my partner. Not that that word is ideal but I do not want to be someone's husband and I don't want someone to be my husband... it's just so... tied into heterosexuality and heterosexism and sexism and... yeah, don't like it.

My favourite word is "boyfriend" although it seems somewhat juvenile to be using if I were married. In fact my boyfriend and I call each other "boyfriend" or "the boyfriend" all the time--everyone thinks it's terribly cute, including us. :lol:

 

I think the word "partner" works better, because honestly, that's who he is ^^ he's your life partner! Personally, I don't like the terms husband or wife, but if I had my way, I'd divorce (haha) gender from role-related nouns such as these entirely. A postal worker is always called a postal worker, regardless of gender. Why can't all (or at least most) of these other words be like that?

 

Honey Pie would be much more natural than husband

 

I completely agree, Joey. As soon as one gay partner is referred to as a "husband", people will assume the other is the "wife". Some heterosexuals seem to assume that there is a "man" and a "woman" in a gay relationship, and using straight marriage terms would reinforce that incorrect belief.

I like "boyfriend" but it's not a word that a late 30s/early 40s couple can really use (we are too old to be "boys"). We use "partner" which is about the best though as you say it's not idea.

 

Recently, I have heard the term spouse used a lot. I like that word. Husband/wife definitely bring connotations to my mind that I don't like.

wtinal

 

Yeah, I could see spouse working for me. I guess it seems a little colder to me than partner, just because I'm much more used to hearing queer people refer to their partners. But spouse is the legal term now in Canada now that we have same-sex marriage... you're Spouse 1 and Spouse 2, rather than trying to fit people into gendered "husband" and "wife" categories. In fact if I remember correctly the marriage laws had been updated to the new language but some of the divorce laws hadn't so it was tricky to fill out forms to get divorced because they still referred to husband and wife.

 

Yes, I can see how that may appear colder. But I think it makes a clearer distinction between sex and relationship. "Partner" is so often referred to in the world as a sexual partner, and it carries a lot of negative connotations. Where as, I think spouse states a commitment to another person for better or for worse. I think heterosexuals can more easily dismiss someone who says they have a partner, than someone who says they have a spouse.

Although, in a perfect world, I think partner is a better word than husband/wife. Husband/wife seems to define a legal agreement - partner defines a permanent, committed relationship.

Just my thoughts......

wtinal

 

I dont like the huband and wife labels because that signifies a LIFE long commitment. Right now at age 17, almost 18, that scares the crap out of me especially since I dont even know what Im doing tomorrow.

 

I simply dpnt like the word husband cuz it will never happen, I will never get mariied, so. And long life relationship is not a promise

Being lable as a boyfriend dosent matter to me tho

I think the word partner sounds not really nice, cuz it will come and go quick

 

yeah,when u put it that way...i just don't like the labels, period. i mean, who needs 'em? the words "husband" and "wife" i associate with bondage, anyways. don't know why. they just...yeah. i don't like 'em.:dry:

 

Oh it is so sad to hear people ten years my junior giving up on something that is so worth fighting for. There are 1138 different federal protections and benefits denied to same-sex couples, because they are not married. Only one State in the nation has granted legal status for gays to be married, and it is a struggle to keep that status.

Be a part of the change, work toward a better tomorrow. Don't feel defeated, be part of the generation that stands up and says, "No! We will no longer be treated like this." You are becoming of voting age, it is time to be invigorated assisting social causes that deserve your attention. Be a part of the community. Don't just shut yourself inside your house afraid to speak up. A silent minority has never won any right.

If you don't like the labels, fine. Use a different label, but be sure that you have every right as the next person to use that label if you want to.

 

Extremely well put

 

I actually would be most comfortable calling someone my "husband." I do want to get married at some point and to have a lifelong commitment, so the connotation is, for me, appropriate. But hey, whatever people want to call their partners/spouses/husbands/wives/whatever is fine by me.

I've always found the term "life partner" to be a little cheesy, though; it sounds contrived. Maybe that's just me.

Perhaps it is important first to work toward same-sex marriage, THEN worry about terminology .

 

In the UK we have Civil Partnerships which are nearly but not quite a gay marriage. So "Partner" is a good word to use here, I think.

In conversation I just say his name, and if people ask or look curious I say "my partner" then carry on with whatever I was saying.