"I don't hate gay people, but..."

I don't think it's meant to be offensive. They just don't agree with that part of us which is fine. If they don't like then they don't like it. Not everyone's going to be as accepting so just let it go.

 

It's rude no matter what. I feel like here in the US, people can't say anything negative without wrapping it in fake politeness. You can't say, "I don't like that outfit." You have to say, "That outfit might not be your style." I dislike negativity, but you might as well get it over with if you're going to say it in the first place.

 

My dad (who is a psychologist) always says that with any sentence that has a "but" in the middle, he disregards anything before the "but." In my job, I hear a lot of "I'd do anything for my kids, but we don't have the money/time to do the treatment they need." It's kind of the same principle.

I notice I use that sentence construct sometimes, but I'm trying to change the "but" to an and and end the sentence in a way that accurately reflects what I actually mean, if indeed I do mean the first half of my sentence.

 

Yeah, if people or going to be rude anyways then why even start off with the "I don't..."
I find that more annoying than anything they would say, its like saying "I love this thing but, I actually hate it," As if the first part of the sentence absolves them from any criticism.

 

The worst are those "I'm not homophobic/bigoted/racist some of my best friends/friends are X" people

 

I can understand their point of view. If someone doesn't support gay marriage, they can still like gay people, which I can come to terms with. I think it does more damage to immediately label people as bigots than to accept their point of view.

Now, it would also depend on what they say after "but". I guess we should determine whether or not they actually hate gay people based on what they say.

 

If they have to say "I don't hate gay people, but...", well, they probably do.

"I don't hate gay people but..."

They more than likely do, and they're trying to sugarcoat it. If they have to say "I don't, but...", they might as well just come out and admit to it. If they didn't hate gay people (or any LGBT people, for that matter) there would be no need for such statements.

 

They try to fool us by using the word but. The "but" following is usually where someone says something contradictory. For example, "i'm not racist or anything but....Mexicans should be deported back to Mexico to keep them from stealing all our jobs." another is "i'm not homophobic...but gays should keep it to themselves what they do should not be seen in public". Usually that's how that goes. Worse is justifying it with "some of my best friends/friends/coworkers are X"

 

This is a big thing in society generally.

I'm not against gay people but...
I'm not racist but...
I don't mean to be offensive but... (or my favorite, "No offense, but...")

We have ugly feelings, but we don't *want* to have ugly feelings...so we deny them before acknowledging them. It's kinda cute. As well as maddening.

 

That's a softer way of being rude lol but being a hypocrite about it doesn't make it any better.

 

I'll just leave this here:



Replace "racist" with "homophobic".

 

I don't hate people, but a lot of them do dumb/mean/harmful stuff.

I hurt anybody's feelin's?

 

I don't hate gay people... I just wish they stop it with the rainbows, my eyes can only take so much colors at once.

---------- Post added 24th Sep 2015 at 09:21 PM ----------

Oh no the rainbow it burns.

 

You can dislike something about someone, or even a group of people, without hating them. Just because something's not love doesn't mean it's hate. Ever heard of a spectrum before?

I think a lot of people have a warped perception of hatred. There is bias and insensitivity, and then there is cold, hard, hate. Mistreatment. Abuse, verbal and physical. And far, far worse. These are things I categorize as hate. You don't have to like bias and insensitivity. Feel free to complain all you like about it. But you know real hate when you feel it.

 

My friend does that because he automatically feels disgust toward homosexuals but is honestly trying to change his viewpoint.... He got in a flame war after posting a straight pride photo but he says that he doesn't feel that being proud of his sexuality should be politically incorrect, as we all should be equally proud of who we are.

It's a confusing situation as the "buts" don't usually anger me as it shows that the person is at least starting to open up to the idea. Also I'd rather not be overly bothered by negative viewpoints as people are free to believe what they want, as long as its not constant blatant attacking with no signs of attempting to understand.

Buuuut, some of the "buts" are cringeworthy as hell and it takes some willpower not to interject. But it's what they feel, all I can do is politely attempt to show them why I don't agree.

 

I don't hate you, but you make me laugh too many times. Entertaining people! Such shamelessness!

 

I don't hate straight people but why do they must SHOVE their heterosexualism into my face?? holding hands in front of me ????? gross?????????????????????????

 

I don't hate gay people I have gay friends. /the end

 

My grandfather says he is not homophobic but thinks there are to many gays on TV.
That confuses me to hell